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  1. #1
    たのむよ。
    The Gentleman Scamp's Avatar
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    Exclamation S&P - The Shocking Truth, READ BEFORE YOU EAT THERE

    I have just returned from the S&P restaurant at the Impact Exhibition Hall where the good people of Thailand are having a craft fayre to exhibit and sell their wares. Being so hungry that I would have to re-introduce my stomach to food, I wasn't feeling as fussy as usual so I thought I would go to the overpriced and glorified fast food outlet - S&P. The food is satisfactory but you know where you stand with it.

    The place was empty and the walls were adorned with advertising. Huge images of smiling white faces with smiling white children's faces and various items of the S&P menu displayed in all their brilliance on white plates and diffused into matte white backgrounds.

    The staff were rubbish, minimal eye contact, bored and lazy - but this is Thailand and they will follow where we lead, anyway so I ordered the masaman curry and rice which looked nice on the white china plate in the menu and on the wall and they gladly took my money and gave me the opportunity to spend some more but I'm not very good with coffee and the rest of the drinks menu had been glued together.

    The food came on a plastic tray on which was a rectangular plastic container in which within was an even smaller container at one end which contained some chicken bits with jelly like skin lumps attached and sitting in what looked like your child's first ever poo. Next to this mini container was an ice cream scoop of rice.

    It didn't just taste old and awful, I took one bite on a perfectly triangular potato slice and it was frozen solid in the middle. I calmly returned it to one of the staff saying it was cold and they returned with an identical replacement that was steaming hot, it was actually distorting it's thin container.

    Both temperatures it looked like a meal from the worlds worst airline and when it was at a temperature I could eat, I finished it being in the famished state I was, and it was an unpleasant experience and I felt cheated and robbed. I wish I'd had a camera on me so I could post some pics.

    S&P are CRIMINALS - I should take my camera there with a translator and get them to justify what they are doing but it is not the fault of the staff. S&P are a bunch of billionaires that meet for golf each week and they don't give a fuck about you or me or the quality of their service at all, at all, AT ALL.

    Also if I tried to publicize it any more than this I would probably mysteriously vanish, so I am writing this to let you know my experience and the chances are that a few of you will be put off going there and they will lose out, which is perfectly fair being that I've had 85 baht taken from me and been presented with a frozen, factory produced, bland product that has audaciously been manufactured with the sole intention of taking peoples money and giving them as little back in return.

    Absolute thieves, I'm seriously disgusted - and I highly recommend you avoid the company at all costs and support your local food outlet or treat yourself to a visit to Timbas. S&P basically serve you the microwave meals that they also produce and by not reheating these properly then one day they will kill somebody, which would be great because it means they will be shut down which they damned well should be.

    P.S. If anybody from S&P is reading this and thinking of having me bumped off, I have already informed my Embassy that if anything happens to me, it's probably you that did it because I was slagging off your horrible horrible product in public.

    P.S. Fuck you, and give me back my 85 baht.
    Last edited by The Gentleman Scamp; 17-08-2008 at 09:06 PM.
    "I'm an outsider by choice, but not truly. It's the unpleasantness of the system that keeps me out. I'd rather be in, in a good system. That's where my discontent comes from: being forced to choose to stay outside.
    My advice: Just keep movin' straight ahead. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place."

    George Carlin

  2. #2
    Thailand Expat
    Marmite the Dog's Avatar
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    Didn't you know?

    Newbie...

  3. #3
    Thailand Expat
    peterpan's Avatar
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    I pretty much agree, most of what they make is crap, I made the mistake of getting a sandwich from their shop a couple of weeks ago, at a service station just before the Bira track, as soon as took they wrapping off you could smell the stink of the filling, it was well off.
    They suck as a company as well, I sold them some equipment some 13 yrs ago, they couldn't maintain even the simplest item, the management was totally disinterested in what goes on in the manufacturing plant.

  4. #4
    Cenosillicaphobiac
    Plan B's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Gentleman Scamp
    I didn't just taste old and awful
    Okay. Thanks for that.

  5. #5
    nid aur yw popeth melyn
    britmaveric's Avatar
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    Hardly shocking....

  6. #6
    I am in Jail

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    They have nice pumpkin muffins though. mmmmmm....

  7. #7
    たのむよ。
    The Gentleman Scamp's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pai nai ma View Post
    They have nice pumpkin muffins though. mmmmmm....
    ^ Do you want to know where you can stick your pumpkin muffins?

  8. #8
    Member SomchaiDriver's Avatar
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    I sneak in to my local S&P and when no one is looking I grab one of the big Chinese moon cake cookies and rub it on my balls and then place it back in the rack.

  9. #9
    Hello World
    melvbot's Avatar
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    This really should be made sticky/pinned.
    Poor service and crap food from a fast food outlet in Thailand, everyone should be warned.
    What will we do without these warnings that everyone already knows about?

  10. #10
    I am in Jail

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    Quote Originally Posted by SomchaiDriver
    I sneak in to my local S&P and when no one is looking I grab one of the big Chinese moon cake cookies and rub it on my balls and then place it back in the rack.
    Really. I thought you were female.

  11. #11
    សុខសប្បាយ
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    S&P are a terrible excuse for a restaurant, but as already pointed out, par for the course in Thailand.

    Their only redeeming feature is they sometimes have a Pizzanotti outlet inside. The pizzas are better that the cardboard efforts other fast food outlets serve, so for this we can be slightly thankful.
    Mortals you defy the Gods, I sentence you to travel among unknown stars, until you find the Kingdom of Hades, your bodies will stay as lifeless as stone.

  12. #12
    Member SomchaiDriver's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pai nai ma View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by SomchaiDriver
    I sneak in to my local S&P and when no one is looking I grab one of the big Chinese moon cake cookies and rub it on my balls and then place it back in the rack.
    Really. I thought you were female.
    Marylin Monore ? You fecking degenerate.

  13. #13
    I am in Jail
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Gentleman Scamp
    which is perfectly fair being that I've had 85 baht taken from me and been presented with a frozen, factory produced, bland product that has audaciously been manufactured with the sole intention of taking peoples money and giving them as little back in return.

    erm, it only cost 85 baht, what did you expect?

  14. #14
    bkkmadness
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    I've never ate in S & P, you know it's rubbish without even having to try it.

    Schoolboy error.

  15. #15
    Hifaluten Member
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    656 words to say S&P sucks ... you should do a vid instead ... stick to what you're good at and all that .






    ... btw you still doing video stuff in Thailand mate?

  16. #16
    RIP
    Happyman's Avatar
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    I am pleased to say that I havn't got a bloody clue what a S & P is but thanks for the warnings !

  17. #17
    I am in Jail

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    Quote Originally Posted by Indoexile View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by The Gentleman Scamp
    which is perfectly fair being that I've had 85 baht taken from me and been presented with a frozen, factory produced, bland product that has audaciously been manufactured with the sole intention of taking peoples money and giving them as little back in return.
    erm, it only cost 85 baht, what did you expect?
    Highway robbery, IMO.

  18. #18
    R.I.P.
    DrB0b's Avatar
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    Another dull, boring, self obsessed, totally obvious post from Scumpy, how did we ever survive without him?

  19. #19
    たのむよ。
    The Gentleman Scamp's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Indoexile View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by The Gentleman Scamp
    which is perfectly fair being that I've had 85 baht taken from me and been presented with a frozen, factory produced, bland product that has audaciously been manufactured with the sole intention of taking peoples money and giving them as little back in return.

    erm, it only cost 85 baht, what did you expect?
    Something edible that resembled the photo on the wall and in the menu - i.e. on a plate.

  20. #20
    bkkmadness
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    You can get two plates of good food with 85 baht.

  21. #21
    たのむよ。
    The Gentleman Scamp's Avatar
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    ^ There you go, he's never wrong is our Maddie.

  22. #22
    nid aur yw popeth melyn
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    Quote Originally Posted by bkkmadness View Post
    You can get two plates of good food with 85 baht.
    Great thai food for that price.... course we all know how much Scampy despises Thai food.

  23. #23
    たのむよ。
    The Gentleman Scamp's Avatar
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    Okay, I'm gonna change the subject here.

    There is something wrong with the breasts in your avatar Brit, they are long. I'm not saying they are fake, but a good pair of knockers should not hang down that long. If that woman took off her bra her nipples would be level with her waistline. Can you please replace it with a better pair?

    Perhaps we could have a competition to find a new pair of breasts for your av?

  24. #24
    nid aur yw popeth melyn
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    ^Think they are fake boobies and would just sit there as is.

  25. #25
    たのむよ。
    The Gentleman Scamp's Avatar
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    If they were fake they would be round and taught, not stretching the bra strap to snapping point. Either way, they are not pleasant - that pic belongs on the wall of a European clinic.

    Come on mate, do the decent thing.

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