S&P - The Shocking Truth, READ BEFORE YOU EAT THERE
I have just returned from the S&P restaurant at the Impact Exhibition Hall where the good people of Thailand are having a craft fayre to exhibit and sell their wares. Being so hungry that I would have to re-introduce my stomach to food, I wasn't feeling as fussy as usual so I thought I would go to the overpriced and glorified fast food outlet - S&P. The food is satisfactory but you know where you stand with it.
The place was empty and the walls were adorned with advertising. Huge images of smiling white faces with smiling white children's faces and various items of the S&P menu displayed in all their brilliance on white plates and diffused into matte white backgrounds.
The staff were rubbish, minimal eye contact, bored and lazy - but this is Thailand and they will follow where we lead, anyway so I ordered the masaman curry and rice which looked nice on the white china plate in the menu and on the wall and they gladly took my money and gave me the opportunity to spend some more but I'm not very good with coffee and the rest of the drinks menu had been glued together.
The food came on a plastic tray on which was a rectangular plastic container in which within was an even smaller container at one end which contained some chicken bits with jelly like skin lumps attached and sitting in what looked like your child's first ever poo. Next to this mini container was an ice cream scoop of rice.
It didn't just taste old and awful, I took one bite on a perfectly triangular potato slice and it was frozen solid in the middle. I calmly returned it to one of the staff saying it was cold and they returned with an identical replacement that was steaming hot, it was actually distorting it's thin container.
Both temperatures it looked like a meal from the worlds worst airline and when it was at a temperature I could eat, I finished it being in the famished state I was, and it was an unpleasant experience and I felt cheated and robbed. I wish I'd had a camera on me so I could post some pics.
S&P are CRIMINALS - I should take my camera there with a translator and get them to justify what they are doing but it is not the fault of the staff. S&P are a bunch of billionaires that meet for golf each week and they don't give a fuck about you or me or the quality of their service at all, at all, AT ALL.
Also if I tried to publicize it any more than this I would probably mysteriously vanish, so I am writing this to let you know my experience and the chances are that a few of you will be put off going there and they will lose out, which is perfectly fair being that I've had 85 baht taken from me and been presented with a frozen, factory produced, bland product that has audaciously been manufactured with the sole intention of taking peoples money and giving them as little back in return.
Absolute thieves, I'm seriously disgusted - and I highly recommend you avoid the company at all costs and support your local food outlet or treat yourself to a visit to Timbas. S&P basically serve you the microwave meals that they also produce and by not reheating these properly then one day they will kill somebody, which would be great because it means they will be shut down which they damned well should be.
P.S. If anybody from S&P is reading this and thinking of having me bumped off, I have already informed my Embassy that if anything happens to me, it's probably you that did it because I was slagging off your horrible horrible product in public.
P.S. Fuck you, and give me back my 85 baht.
