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  1. #1
    anonymous ant
    tsicar's Avatar
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    Do My Kids Really Hate Me, Or What

    well, we all know the embarrassing things that kids can come up with, BUT:
    this boy, (my youngest, aged 7) takes the bloody cake!

    today, he screws up my shot at the hot little thing that was giving me the eye the whole afternoon in the pub, by walking over to her and announcing loudly:

    "my dad says i have got to stay at aunty carol's tonight because he is gonna have a sax with you!"

    last week he asked my biggest client, a bald-on -top fellow, who is extremely sensitive about his baldness: "uncle allan, why do you cut your hair so funny?"

    stood up in class the other day, when the teacher was asking about what chores the kids help out with at home, and told his bloody teacher that his job is to make sure his dad's beermug is never empty!

    i can never take him out to eat at a restaurant without him pouring half his bloody milkshake into my lap.

    i love my kids very much, but sometimes i realise that i live in fear of this one and what he will come up with next!

    can anybody suggest a solution to the problem, or must i just sell him off for medical experimentation, as i often threaten to do?

  2. #2
    Thailand Expat
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    Americans love babies, BBQUED is the prefered method

  3. #3
    anonymous ant
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    Quote Originally Posted by dirtydog View Post
    Americans love babies, BBQUED is the prefered method
    i like babies, too!................but i don't think i could eat a WHOLE one all by myself...

  4. #4
    Thailand Expat
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    Lots of Americans on the forum to give you bbq tips

  5. #5
    ding ding ding
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    I've met your kids and they're great, they're just taking after your personality and they dont need changing at all.
    Maybe you need to train them a little, maybe get them to ask for phone numbers off chicks instead of talking about sax immedialtey

  6. #6
    anonymous ant
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spin View Post
    I've met your kids and they're great, they're just taking after your personality and they dont need changing at all.
    Maybe you need to train them a little, maybe get them to ask for phone numbers off chicks instead of talking about sax immedialtey
    i guess he is just getting even.
    when he was much younger, i often got laid, i am ashamed to say, by using him. he was a bloody cute two year old, and the thai women could not resist him. he couldn't really speak any thai, and the first question they invariably asked me would be "where is his mother?", to which i would reply, sadly:"she died" (she did, but had not yet, back then)
    got me the "sympathy shag" on many occasions!

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by tsicar
    they invariably asked me would be "where is his mother?", to which i would reply, sadly:"she died" (she did, but had not yet, back then) got me the "sympathy shag" on many occasions!
    I'm sure there is something wrong with that......

    Karma is coming back to get you...

  8. #8
    I am in Jail

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    Geez, you're having a bad time of it, Tsicar. I'll double the doses of valium and arsenic for you.

  9. #9
    The cold, wet one
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    Considering certain members of this board have tried to use my son to get young ladies interested in them, this made me laugh, tsicar.

    I just hope your son is better at it than mine - he's useless! Never scored anyone for me, either...

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by November Rain
    I just hope your son is better at it than mine - he's useless! Never scored anyone for me, either...
    he just wasnt trying then....

  11. #11
    disturbance in the Turnip baldrick's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tsicar
    my shot at the hot little thing that was giving me the eye the whole afternoon in the pub
    this is when the bullsh1t meter started to alarm

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by dirtydog View Post
    Americans love babies, BBQUED is the prefered method


    About as funny as bbqued dog and twice as boring.

  13. #13
    Boxed Member
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    Adoption or boarding school is an option.

    You should delete the incriminating evidence... 'you said she was dead, you knew she was going to die beforehand, then she did'.... sherlocks such as HB might take this the wrong way and start calling you a murderer.

    Either way, can you tell us the method used ?

  14. #14
    Boxed Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by November Rain View Post
    Never scored anyone for me, either...
    Do you swing both ways ??

    By the way, in the doggy style website, who's humungous titties are those floating around in the background.

    by the way #2...thanks for the red and the black...kinda evens out in the long run.

  15. #15
    Thailand Expat
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    Maybe adopt him out to NR Tsi, I'm sure she'd let you have visiting rights every year or so.

  16. #16
    Days Work Done! Norton's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by November Rain
    Considering certain members of this board have tried to use my son to get young ladies interested
    Don't be too hard on him NR. The quality of the product one tries to "sell" is a major factor in the success of the salesman!

  17. #17
    anonymous ant
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    Quote Originally Posted by baldrick View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by tsicar
    my shot at the hot little thing that was giving me the eye the whole afternoon in the pub
    this is when the bullsh1t meter started to alarm
    well she seemed like a hot number at the time.......note: i DID say i had been in the pub the whole afternoon!

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by tsicar
    well she seemed like a hot number at the time.......note: i DID say i had been in the pub the whole afternoon!


    famous last words aint they?

    *note to self: get a 2nd opinion about girls one mets while on the piss.*

  19. #19
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    Reminds one of that old joke about the teacher telling the parent, "If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I will promise not to believe everything your child says happens at home.

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by tsicar
    stood up in class the other day, when the teacher was asking about what chores the kids help out with at home, and told his bloody teacher that his job is to make sure his dad's beermug is never empty!
    Damn, that reminds me, my son told his teacher at school that

    "My daddy loves going out drinking and snoring"

    *(I think he meant whoring)*

  21. #21
    Thailand Expat
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    Quote Originally Posted by tsicar
    he screws up my shot at the hot little thing that was giving me the eye the whole afternoon in the pub, by walking over to her and announcing loudly: "my dad says i have got to stay at aunty carol's tonight because he is gonna have a sax with you!"
    Maybe because you TOLD him that he had to stay at Aunty Carol's tonight because ...... !! As they say "Out of the mouths of babes..etc."

  22. #22
    The cold, wet one
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nawty View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by November Rain View Post
    Never scored anyone for me, either...
    Do you swing both ways ??

    By the way, in the doggy style website, who's humungous titties are those floating around in the background.

    by the way #2...thanks for the red and the black...kinda evens out in the long run.
    Nope.

    Not aware of any humongous titties on our website

    Red & the black? Sorry? You've lost me...

  23. #23
    Boxed Member
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    sorry...colour blind.

    Red and green

  24. #24
    Mea-Culpa
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    Well, since I know you and your kids, then my mouth is sealed....

  25. #25
    Member zedhex's Avatar
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    Rhetorical question: Why are kids cute?

    Answer: 'cause if they wern't they all be strangled within the first 3 months of life.

    This is also why most cute babies grow up to be fugly adults.

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