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  1. #1
    My kind of town
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    Things That Happen in Thailand You Don't Understand........

    ......but are not surprised by them anymore when they do happen.

    Mine?

    In line at the ATM. Person in front of me puts her card in and reads EVERY option on the screen. Checks her balance and ejects her card. Puts card back in, reads EVERY option on the screen AGAIN, and finally gets money and ejects card. Gets receipt and stares at it if its a 500 word essay. Gets another card out (maybe friends???) and goes through the same process again.

    Riding the escalator and the LARGE group of Thais in front of me get off, stop and don't go anywhere. They look around as if confused on where to go. I need to get off the moving escalator, but can't. Or another large groups approaches the escalator and just about gets on. Suddenly they come to a stop, have a discussion and decide not to get on. I need to get on, but delayed as usual.

    Arriving at the airport late from a long international flight. I am moving along through the chute to meet Mrs. Chi. Suddenly the Thais in front of me screech to a halt in the middle of the chute and begin wai-ing and presenting each other with wrist flowers. Worse than traffic in Silom on Friday at 5pm! Easy to get hit in the ankle by a luggage cart coming up behind you.

    These are things I used to wonder about, but they happen so often its not a surprise, but rather to be expected.

    Anyone want to add to the list?

  2. #2
    Thailand Expat Texpat's Avatar
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    Cue Smeg with list-at-hand.

    For me, it's gotta be flying out into a road, turning left, without so much as a glance to what's coming. Hits me like a slap in the face every time.

  3. #3
    I am in Jail
    Smeg's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chitown View Post
    In line at the ATM. Person in front of me puts her card in and reads EVERY option on the screen.
    And of course, despite queuing for a couple of minutes, she only starts looking for the card in her handbag when she arrives at the front of the queue and steps up to the machine

    Riding the escalator and the LARGE group of Thais in front of me get off, stop and don't go anywhere. They look around as if confused on where to go.
    Nothing "as if" about it. They are confused. Planning more than 5 seconds in advance gives them a headache so its easier not to.

  4. #4
    I am in Jail
    Smeg's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Texpat View Post
    Cue Smeg with list-at-hand.

    For me, it's gotta be flying out into a road, turning left, without so much as a glance to what's coming. Hits me like a slap in the face every time.
    So glad you look forward to my contributions

    Also wing mirrors are there to look pretty only, their function being a mystery.

  5. #5
    Hello World
    melvbot's Avatar
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    [quote=Smeg;704837]
    Quote Originally Posted by Texpat View Post
    Also wing mirrors are there to look pretty only, their function being a mystery.
    I see Thais using mirrors all the while especially on bikes. They hang their helmets on them, check make up in them and find spots to squeeze.

  6. #6
    Thailand Expat AntRobertson's Avatar
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    1. Drivers going the wrong way down a one-way street/overtaking into oncoming traffic/driving on the wrong side of the road flashing their lights at you because you, obviously, couldn't otherwise see them heading directly towards you in your lane.

    2a. Developers that build stunningly beautiful big houses with large gardens, swimming pools, 4+ brms, huge dining, living and bed rooms and a kitchen the size of a cupboard.

    2b. Developers that build stunningly beautiful big houses with 4+ brms, huge dining, living and bed rooms and gardens that you can count the blades of grass from the house to the wall.

  7. #7
    Being chased by sloths DJ Pat's Avatar
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    ***Internet cafes full of boys only, all teenagers, all playing exactly the same game at high volume, shouting and screaming at eachother, for hours on end. What a mentality.

    *** Security guards who bore you with tales of what's on offer up Petchburi Road on a sunday night. The last place I'd go for a night on the tiles.

    *** Motorbike taxis that seem to believe they are "impressing" the farang by riding at top speed almost in the wrong lane dodging oncoming traffic at the last second and laughing about it. Pricks.

    *** saying "NO" when they mean "YES" and vice versa.

  8. #8
    សុខសប្បាយ
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    Developers that build stunningly beautiful big houses with 4+ brms, huge dining, living and bed rooms, kitchens and gardens that are made from the shoddiest materials and their wiring has been done by a rhesus monkey so it is faulty as well as extremely dangerous.

    And their car ports are barely wide enough for two cars.

    Truevisions high prices and why it goes off every time it rains???

    Thais that try to race me in Vios, Camrys, Optras and any other weak 4 cylinder saloons. Don't they understand the limits of their cars and their poor driving ability?
    Mortals you defy the Gods, I sentence you to travel among unknown stars, until you find the Kingdom of Hades, your bodies will stay as lifeless as stone.

  9. #9
    I am in Jail
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    The ATM is pretty annoying,

    what about motorcycle in traffic jam, trying to go through at all costs, even if it means scratching a few cars,

    I hate those fucks,

    Thais taking 45 sec to realize that the light is green, and still not moving, then running the red light as it's the natural thing to do

  10. #10
    Developing Member

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    I hate it when I get in a taxi and after telling the driver where I want to go, they wont take me saying they have to take the car back or they just pretend not to understand me...

  11. #11
    Pedantic bastard
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    Quote Originally Posted by chitown View Post
    ......but are not surprised by them anymore when they do happen.
    The idiots who fel they HAVE to park their bicycles or motorcycles as close to the doorway as possible (and preferably across the doorway) of any shop they go into - thereby making access exceedingly difficult for any one else.

    The taxi drivers who have to constantly moan everytime they get in a jam in Bangkok traffic, particularly implying that its purerly MY fault for wanting to go there. Its your job dude. Suck it up.

    The taxi drivers who look at you like you are asking to go to the moon when you name any destination over 10km away.

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by chitown View Post
    ......but are not surprised by them anymore when they do happen.

    Mine?

    In line at the ATM. Person in front of me puts her card in and reads EVERY option on the screen. Checks her balance and ejects her card. Puts card back in, reads EVERY option on the screen AGAIN, and finally gets money and ejects card. Gets receipt and stares at it if its a 500 word essay. Gets another card out (maybe friends???) and goes through the same process again.

    Riding the escalator and the LARGE group of Thais in front of me get off, stop and don't go anywhere. They look around as if confused on where to go. I need to get off the moving escalator, but can't. Or another large groups approaches the escalator and just about gets on. Suddenly they come to a stop, have a discussion and decide not to get on. I need to get on, but delayed as usual.

    Arriving at the airport late from a long international flight. I am moving along through the chute to meet Mrs. Chi. Suddenly the Thais in front of me screech to a halt in the middle of the chute and begin wai-ing and presenting each other with wrist flowers. Worse than traffic in Silom on Friday at 5pm! Easy to get hit in the ankle by a luggage cart coming up behind you.

    These are things I used to wonder about, but they happen so often its not a surprise, but rather to be expected.

    Anyone want to add to the list?
    Especially if the person is a football bookie. Getting that piece of paper out with scores, names and account numbers! Takes them ages and with no regards to the people who line up behind them.... best to walk 10 meters and find another ATM.

  13. #13
    I am in Jail

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    I see Thais using mirrors all the while especially on bikes. They hang their helmets on them, check make up in them and find spots to squeeze.
    Only if their chimpanzee sister hasn't groomed them properly that day.

  14. #14
    I am in Jail

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    They look around as if confused
    The hourly battle to figure out what planet they're on does get perplexing.
    Last edited by Megahorn; 28-07-2008 at 06:03 PM.

  15. #15
    My kind of town
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    Ah yes! Go to the toilet in the shopping mall to take a leak and then go to the sink to wash your hands. There are 12 sinks, with 12 Thai guys picking their hair, washing their face with water from the sink and rubbing the water in a circular motion around and around their face, then swigging some water from the tap before spitting back in the sink. Then playing with their hair again before leaving.

    None of them used soap to wash their hands, not even the cook from Fuji that was in there....which is where I was headed to eat

    But they bathed their head and face pretty good with tap water........

  16. #16
    Hansum Man! panama hat's Avatar
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    Staff at any department store 'hiding' behind the cash register/storage boxes grooming themselves (both men and women) . . . the worst are the cosmetics salespeople

    Staff at any restaurant believing that service is not their job, rather having discussions or sms-ing is a higher calling.

    Ah, as Texpat says: turning left onto a road without looking . . . my favourite.

    Picking their noses . . . anywhere . . . anytime . . . and then wanting to offer a massage.

    It's not just picking their noses - they stick their fingers so far up their nostrils and rotate the suckers . . . Amazing!

  17. #17
    Thailand Expat Texpat's Avatar
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    But they bathed their head and face pretty good with tap water........
    It's free. And that gives them no end of satisfaction to know they got something for nothing.

    That thought alone will carry them through the rest of the day.

  18. #18
    Thailand Expat

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    Going into the toilet locking the door. And then not coming out for a good 15 minutes - always in public toilets.

    what do they do in there?

  19. #19
    ding ding ding
    Spin's Avatar
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    Girls give you their telephone numbers when they have boyfriend already and dont seem to demonstrate any guilt when you find out and finish with them.

  20. #20
    Mea-Culpa
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    I've been here to long to give a flying fok anymore....

  21. #21
    សុខសប្បាយ
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    Quote Originally Posted by chitown
    Ah yes! Go to the toilet in the shopping mall to take a leak and then go to the sink to wash your hands. There are 12 sinks, with 12 Thai guys picking their hair, washing their face with water from the sink and rubbing the water in a circular motion around and around their face, then swigging some water from the tap before spitting back in the sink. Then playing with their hair again before leaving.
    Thai guys that can't pass a mirror without looking at themselves and playing with their hair. I saw one the other day stepping down the escalator on the way up to stay in front of the mirror.

    Those ridiculous hairdos that the Thai guys have that look like a novelty wig from the 80's.

    Asian fashion in general is something I'll never understand.

  22. #22
    I am in Jail

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    Quote Originally Posted by chitown
    In line at the ATM. Person in front of me puts her card in and reads EVERY option on the screen. Checks her balance and ejects her card. Puts card back in, reads EVERY option on the screen AGAIN, and finally gets money and ejects card. Gets receipt and stares at it if its a 500 word essay. Gets another card out (maybe friends???) and goes through the same process again.
    Many times this has happened before to my annoyment.

    Quote Originally Posted by chitown
    Riding the escalator and the LARGE group of Thais in front of me get off, stop and don't go anywhere. They look around as if confused on where to go. I need to get off the moving escalator, but can't. Or another large groups approaches the escalator and just about gets on. Suddenly they come to a stop, have a discussion and decide not to get on. I need to get on, but delayed as usual.
    What's foking worse is the dickheads who stand on the escalators and only start running for there lives as soon as they see the skytrain even with no chance of missing it. Even worse is when you want to get somewhere quick and the foks block you and prevent you from getting that foking train.

    They don't understand foking escaltors at all, it's just an excuse to stand and move whilst doing fok all, to talk longer.

    Don't get me started on that foking bridge linking MBK with Siam, 10 metres of conveyer to stand still and foking talk some more

    Quote Originally Posted by Dalton
    I've been here to long to give a flying fok anymore....
    Got to be with Dalts, put up with it and shut up I 'spose

  23. #23
    Tonguin for a beer
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    Truevisions high prices and why it goes off every time it rains???

    Because it is a satellite system and heavy rain clouds block the signal dopey!

    Thais that try to race me in Vios, Camrys, Optras and any other weak 4 cylinder saloons. Don't they understand the limits of their cars and their poor driving ability?[/quote]

    Fahn Cahn's

  24. #24
    Cynical Member
    Fstop's Avatar
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    The high price of cable tv in Bangkok is something I will never understand. In Pattaya I can get the same shit channels for 200 baht.

    Thai driving skills. A guy on a motorbike will turn left onto Sukhumvit without looking to see what's coming. I am shocked every time. 7 year olds on motorbikes, dipshits without helmets in BKK, overtaking on a 2 lane highway....the list goes on.

    The whole "everybody passes" concept that is practiced in every Thai school.

    The view that most Thai men here are some of the scummiest men on the planet - the fact that they won't take responsibility for their actions (especially in regards to their women) is just appalling.

    The amount of corruption that is seen in every corner of Thai society, and how nobody does anything to stop it.
    "Fuck off. And take your stupid cult with you."

    -Scarlett Johansson to Tom Cruise

  25. #25
    I am in Jail
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    Quote Originally Posted by chitown View Post
    Ah yes! Go to the toilet in the shopping mall to take a leak and then go to the sink to wash your hands. ....
    I want to know how many more generations it will take them to develop the ability not to piss all over the toilet seat.

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