Thread: Stupidest Place You've Ever Taken A Piss!

Following on from the sleepwalking thread where quite a few posters admitted to pissing in daft places when they're drunk.

What's the stupidest place you've ever taken a piss when you're to drunk to remember?

Here's my second stupidest place coz number 1 is a long story and i've only got half a beer left.

It was my 18th birthday and I was living in my mum's pub. We'd had a party the nigt before where I drank a stupid amount of Lemon Hooch. It was around 18 bottles because I remember everyone saying I had to drink one for every year and apparently when I got on stage with the band I sang a pretty convincing "Rockin All Over The World"

I woke up in the morning when my mum popped her head round the door with a cup of tea and said "Get up quick there's a coach outside with all your mates on waiting to go to Alton Towers" Mums are great arnt they at organising suprises!

So I got up quick and showered but feeling like shit and when I was getting dressed and opened my sock draw all my socks were soaking wet. This was a bit weird but i thought fuck it and put on the wet socks. It was then when I opened my curtains where I kept my fish Tiz Waz on the sill that I saw that all the water had gone out of his bowl but there was a couple of centimeters of yellow liquid in there.

It then dawned on me what I had done and I ran back over to the sock draw and seached through only to find poor little Tiz Waz dead amongst all my socks!

It turns out that in my drunk state I'd emtied my fish bowl into my sock draw and then used the bowl as a piss recepticle! (for any yanks out there)

Alton Towers was fookin dreadful by the way as that's the last place you want to go with the hang over I had.

Foock that turned into a long post! reason being I found another beer in the back of the fridge!

I've only been arrested four times for stupid shit. Twice in England ( once for drink driving) once in the states for loitering on my bloody birthday ( I was waiting outside a pub in Phoenix for my mate to see if the locals were too weird or not to accept a brit in thier local, his parents were septics and he'd been there before.) and once in Thailand. That was the scariest, I was wrongfully aressted for GBH but the actual guy who did it was 6"3 (i'm only 5'9 on a good day) It still didn't stop all the local from pointing the finger at me and identifiying me saying "that was him!" The only reason that I hung around the seen was to make sure that the Thai taxi driver who got beaten up was alright! Sometimes beeing the nice guy doesn't pay off!

Back in the early 90's on Lamai Beach, Koh Samui all the bars used to close at around 2.00AM. If you wanted to continue, there was only one bar which stayed open til dawn or thereabouts. Odd Bar was an interesting little spot, sort of like the Thermae of Koh Samui. . The loo was a fair way down a dark alley so one night I decided to have a piss between two darkened bungalows. Nearly shit myself when I suddenly felt a tap on my shoulder and a hand slide around my neck. It was a fcuking monkey !! Unbeknownst to me, each bungalow had a tame monkey chained to the balcony and this one had decided to say hello.

A little side street in Manila. Couple of Manila's finest saw me and tried to stitch me up for an 'instant fine' on threat of being arrested and taken to the station for processing.

Get very pissed one night. Went home and went to bed.
Woke up dying for a piss. Thought I was in the bathroom but was fully woken up by the missus screaming.
I had just walked around the bed, flipped it out and was pissing on her head.

Originally Posted by The Fresh Prince

What's the stupidest place you've ever taken a piss when you're to drunk to remember?

I dunno, because I was........

About 15 years ago I'd met a bird that I'd only been seeing for a few days. One night I got totally bladdered and crashed at her place. Got up some time during the night and thought I was pissing in the toilet but was actually pissing in the laundry basket which was in her bedroom. She did eventually forgive me and we ended up together for ten years.

I got out of bed and thought i was in the bathroom pissing. Woke up by the exbird cos i was standing at the top of her parents stairs and pissing down them and hitting the wall

Lying on the floor of my room in the PJ Hilton in Kuala Lumpur.
Been drinking in the Uncle Chillis Bar from about 2.00 in the afternoon and become totally and out of control pissed. Had to be carried to my room apparently at 2.00am and they (the hotel staff) opened the door and I just fell in so to speak. Woke up the following morning in the same place I fell and in a pool of urine.

First and last time (and as I can remember) that I have pissed in my pants.