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Thread: Mr. Clumsy

  1. #1
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    Mr. Clumsy

    I've always been clumsy and accident prone. These days I can always see Ms. B out of the corner of my eye carefully steering me away from hazards I'm likely to smash into and people I'm about to run over. She drives most of the time now; out of a desire for a long life, I suspect.

    This week alone I have "pruned" one of the fingers on my left hand three different times while puttering in the garden. The last time I had a hard time stopping the flow of blood. I can still see three deep cuts on the fingers of my left hand.

    Earlier this week we had a power outage. I was up early so I made some coffee using the gas stove. When Ms. B got up an hour or so later she found the burner (hob) still burning. I'd forgotten to turn it off.

    Yesterday I made brewed coffee, as usual, with our coffee maker. Unfortunately, I forgot to turn it off so a few hours later when doing the dishes I found a red hot coffee carafe with a nice layer of burned on coffee.

    This morning I went to The Mall. One item on my list was Gin and Tonic. Now normally at the liquor store at The Mall they have someone to help you fetch your items. Not today. So, I'm approaching the counter with one bottle of gin and six bottles of tonic. Next thing I know one of the bottles of tonic has slipped and is headed to the floor. Luckily it bounced and I figure I'm OK. But, on the second bounce it exploded with a satisfying "pop" and enough force to blow sticky tonic and bits of broken glass all over the liquor store. Boy did I feel stupid just standing there with a crowd of people, farang and Thai alike, just staring at me.

    And all that's only in the last four days.

    What next?

  2. #2
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    Happyman's Avatar
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    Reminds me of the old Blly Connely tale of a drunk in Glasgow.

    Was walking down the road with a bottle of ale hanging out of his jacket pocket.
    It fell out and to the pissheads delight it bounced and didn't break .
    Clasping his hands together he looked skywards and thanked the Lord for his good fortune.
    He bent down to pick it up and a half bottle of whisky fell out of his inside pocket and smashed to smithereens on the road !!

    Has that cheered you up ?
    At least you didn't drop the Gin !

  3. #3
    bkkmadness
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    Have shopping baskets made it to the countryside yet?

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    Forgetting to pull down your shorts when having a dump?

    Quote Originally Posted by buad hai
    What next?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gallowspole
    Forgetting to pull down your shorts when having a dump? Quote: Originally Posted by buad hai What next?
    oh, that is nasty!

    dont forget to take p;ics BH

  6. #6
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    melvbot's Avatar
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    Your new avatar BH?

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    Quote Originally Posted by bkkmadness
    Have shopping baskets made it to the countryside yet?
    Yes, but oddly they don't have them in the liquor store. I guess the attending maidens are supposed to carry the stuff for you. My fault for going at noodle time. Also, they don't have tonic in cans (tins) which is my preferred (and safest) method of delivery.

    Serves them right, right?

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    Quote Originally Posted by melvbot
    Your new avatar BH?
    Nice one....

    Actually, if you look closely at my current avatar you will see that one of the slippers is broken as a result of my having just stumbled over a lawn sprinkler....

  9. #9
    bkkmadness
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    I hope you used the 'no tins' defence to good effect and didn't have to pay for your broken bottle BH.

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    Quote Originally Posted by bkkmadness
    I hope you used the 'no tins' defence to good effect and didn't have to pay for your broken bottle BH.
    Grrrrr!

  11. #11
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    Fabian's Avatar
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    So you had to pay for it?

    Anyway, better take care, I enjoy your posts.

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by buad hai View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by melvbot
    Your new avatar BH?
    Nice one....

    Actually, if you look closely at my current avatar you will see that one of the slippers is broken as a result of my having just stumbled over a lawn sprinkler....
    Hence your interest in Pop Up sprinklers in another thread !!!


  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Happyman
    Hence your interest in Pop Up sprinklers in another thread !!!
    You got it. Need to Buadhai-proof the house and garden....

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    I don't know barbaro's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by buad hai View Post
    I've always been clumsy and accident prone. These days I can always see Ms. B out of the corner of my eye carefully steering me away from hazards I'm likely to smash into and people I'm about to run over. She drives most of the time now; out of a desire for a long life, I suspect.

    This week alone I have "pruned" one of the fingers on my left hand three different times while puttering in the garden. The last time I had a hard time stopping the flow of blood. I can still see three deep cuts on the fingers of my left hand.
    [B]GO TO THE DOCTOR A.S.A.P.

    YOU MIGHT BLEED TO DEATH.

  15. #15
    Days Work Done! Norton's Avatar
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    BH after a malicious Black and Decker lawn trimmer attack.


  16. #16
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    A quiet weekend Hua Hin, maybe?

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    Quote Originally Posted by buad hai
    A quiet weekend Hua Hin, maybe?
    Stop teasing us, BH.

  18. #18
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    Just now I'm slicing a lime for my G&T. Put a nice big cut in my little finger.

    And, now, there' blood all over the keyboard in Tambon Baan Mai.

    (With apologies to Firesign Theater....)

  19. #19
    Days Work Done! Norton's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by buad hai
    A quiet weekend Hua Hin, maybe?
    Not an ideal place for the accident prone! Open fires, live crabs with big pincher's, jellyfish, banana boat rides, horses, stingrays, and drunken Danes.

    Are you sure!

  20. #20
    Days Work Done! Norton's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by buad hai
    And, now, there' blood all over the keyboard in Tambon Baan Mai.
    Hmmm....Bloody Mary with gin. Be sure to put some Tabasco in it. Err...don't get any in the cut! On second thought let Mrs. BH make it.

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