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  1. #1
    Being chased by sloths DJ Pat's Avatar
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    25 Questions for Smeg

    1. With your obvious hatred of the TEFL industry and malice toward this country, why have you returned?

    2. Are you addicted to Thai girls?

    3. Did you deliberately take a job at the UN / some US bank (or wherever) to get "one over" on the TEFL-ers?

    4. Have you any Thai friends?

    5. Do you get invited to parties here in Bangkok? Can you name a party at a recognised venue that you can prove you were invited to? (NOT networking events either)

    6. When girls ask you if you're a teacher, how annoyed do you get?

    7.Do you live in an apartment or one room accomadation? Do you have a good relationship with the locals?

    8. Can you speak Thai? To what level?

    9. Are you the kind of person who's too arrogant to learn Thai other than the usual polite "hello" and "how are you"

    10. What was your girlfriend's friend's reaction when she introduced you to them? Did you smile and be polite or did you adopt a long, miserable face?

    11. How long does it take to become a Thaiophile?

    12. Would you say that becoming a Thaiophile is dependant on financial status?

    13. Who do you consider the ultimate champion of Thaiophiles?

    14. When you returned to Bournemouth, what did you tell your family? And what did you tell your Thai university mates?

    15. How do you feel when you see a Thai person in public picking their nose but covering their mouth when using a toothpick?

    16. Have / Do you ever socialise with people that you met via an online discussion forum?

    17. Where did you purchase your work attire?

    18. Does it annoy you when you are taken as a tourist despite having your namecard round your neck?

    19. What about paying tax? How do you feel to be contributing to such a corrupt economy?

    20. What Isaan places have you visited?

    21. Was Pattaya your first place you visited in Thailand?

    22. What Thai food turns your stomach?

    23. What Thai food do you eat?

    24. Whats your view on TEFL-ing African guys?

    25. Do you find katoeys ever so tiresome?
    Last edited by DJ Pat; 18-03-2006 at 09:46 PM.

  2. #2
    Aspiring Guru
    poolcleaner's Avatar
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    that's a damn good post Pat!


    Is it too much to ask if you pop that over to ajarn addressed to Bangersphil?

    AfterWork tomorrow?

  3. #3
    Being chased by sloths DJ Pat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by poolcleaner
    that's a damn good post Pat!


    Is it too much to ask if you pop that over to ajarn addressed to Bangersphil?

    AfterWork tomorrow?

    Lets see what smeg comes up with first eh.

    I think After work is a must tomorrow as its the first free day I've got as the gf is at uni all day doing tests.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Pat
    Quote Originally Posted by poolcleaner
    that's a damn good post Pat!


    Is it too much to ask if you pop that over to ajarn addressed to Bangersphil?

    AfterWork tomorrow?
    Lets see what smeg comes up with first eh.

    I think After work is a must tomorrow as its the first free day I've got as the gf is at uni all day doing tests.
    As much as I welcome your company Pat.......no chance you can help fill the place with uni totty?

  5. #5
    born of a jackal
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    Maybe you could do some kind of scoring system for the amount of YES and NO answers - I reckon this questionnaire relates to many of us here.
    Last edited by colourful-era; 18-03-2006 at 09:57 PM.

  6. #6
    Being chased by sloths DJ Pat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by poolcleaner
    no chance you can help fill the place with uni totty?
    I got a relative who works at the nearest McD's, she's quite cute but only 18 so not old enough.

    Come to mention it my current one is only 19.

    I'll do my best. If all else fails I'll turn up myself wearing the uniform.

  7. #7
    born of a jackal
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    Quote Originally Posted by poolcleaner
    As much as I welcome your company Pat.......no chance you can help fill the place with uni totty?

    Is there a lack of suitable bar hoes there then?

  8. #8
    Being chased by sloths DJ Pat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by colourful-era
    Maybe you could do some king of scoring system for the amount of YES and NO answers - I reckon this questionnaire relates to many of us here.
    But there are many questions that are not applicable to qnyone but Smeg.

  9. #9
    born of a jackal
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    ok , and some don't have yes/no answers either.

    and many are not applicable to me.


    Biggest Thaiophile - Aging one springs to mind.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Pat
    Quote Originally Posted by poolcleaner
    no chance you can help fill the place with uni totty?
    I got a relative who works at the nearest McD's, she's quite cute but only 18 so not old enough.

    Come to mention it my current one is only 19.

    I'll do my best. If all else fails I'll turn up myself wearing the uniform.
    Hmm.....who made you the judge?

    If you do wear the uniform can you please wear underwear this time?

    And i don't mean that lime green G-string!

  11. #11
    Being chased by sloths DJ Pat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by colourful-era



    Biggest Thaiophile - Aging one springs to mind.

    Let's let Smeg answer first!!

  12. #12
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    Pat, it would be extremely interesting if you answered your own questions....

  13. #13
    I am in Jail
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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Pat
    1. With your obvious hatred of the TEFL industry and malice toward this country, why have you returned?

    2. Are you addicted to Thai girls?

    3. Did you deliberately take a job at the UN / some US bank (or wherever) to get "one over" on the TEFL-ers?

    4. Have you any Thai friends?

    5. Do you get invited to parties here in Bangkok? Can you name a party at a recognised venue that you can prove you were invited to? (NOT networking events either)

    6. When girls ask you if you're a teacher, how annoyed do you get?

    7.Do you live in an apartment or one room accomadation? Do you have a good relationship with the locals?

    8. Can you speak Thai? To what level?

    9. Are you the kind of person who's too arrogant to learn Thai other than the usual polite "hello" and "how are you"

    10. What was your girlfriend's friend's reaction when she introduced you to them? Did you smile and be polite or did you adopt a long, miserable face?

    11. How long does it take to become a Thaiophile?

    12. Would you say that becoming a Thaiophile is dependant on financial status?

    13. Who do you consider the ultimate champion of Thaiophiles?

    14. When you returned to Bournemouth, what did you tell your family? And what did you tell your Thai university mates?

    15. How do you feel when you see a Thai person in public picking their nose but covering their mouth when using a toothpick?

    16. Have / Do you ever socialise with people that you met via an online discussion forum?

    17. Where did you purchase your work attire?

    18. Does it annoy you when you are taken as a tourist despite having your namecard round your neck?

    19. What about paying tax? How do you feel to be contributing to such a corrupt economy?

    20. What Isaan places have you visited?

    21. Was Pattaya your first place you visited in Thailand?

    22. What Thai food turns your stomach?

    23. What Thai food do you eat?

    24. Whats your view on TEFL-ing African guys?

    25. Do you find katoeys ever so tiresome?
    Why the questions Pat? Are you a budding Michael Parkinson?

    Fucking hell, here goes then. Pat do you have a boner for me? I'm not a 36kg teenage uni student ya know!

    I'm expecting this to be a pisstake, coz I've only read the first 3 questions before starting this reply, so we'll se how it progresses.

    1) I've answered a similar question recently.
    Thinking that the TEFL industry sucks here is hardly a reason to avoid the whole country! Much as a few TEFLers may think they are an important part of the society, I doubt that view is shared by the locals, and it isn't by me, hence I don't avoid the place coz of TEFLers alone.

    Why did I return? Coz the place is still of interest, and much as I like the UK, I don't need to spend my entire life there (just most of it!). Thailand is almost an opposite. Different continent, and vastly different food, culture, climate, people, religion, and landscape. Furthermore, I've got a part time job that pays enough to have a comfortable standard of living (not that easy to do in the UK), I like spicy food, I enjoy learning languages via immersion, and I love watersports (which arent much fun for 8 months of the year in Bournemouth)

    2) No, most of those I have met in my two years here have pissed me off, by being too immature, dim, clingy, blank, vague, scrounging, 2-faced, or all of these. However, 1 in 1000 is a gem (its just a shite that they take so much finding). Physically, I prefer North Asian girls.

    3) No. I've always worked for multinational organisations, and I didn't see living in Thailand as a reason to stop. I had to study and retrain to some extend to fit their requirements, which was a worthy investment of time and effort.

    I've never understood how people can become a TEFLer, not matter if they hate it, just so they can live in Thailand. I'd hate to be addicted to the place like that.

    4) About 10 Thai friends. More Thai friends than Westerners here.

    5) Depends what you mean by a "party"? But anyway, I'm not a great party animal, I prefer to go to a bar with a couple of mates than go to "parties", and I'm not one of these tossers who judges his life success by how many parties he goes to. I imagine thats more a DJ's type of attitude to life.

    6) No girl has ever asked me that. A couple of guest house owners have, but so what?

    7) One bedroom /lounge /kitchen / barhroom condo near the Emporium. I know a few people in the building, but I don't like Suk, the people, or the nightlife much (just live here to get to my office quickly), and given the choice, I'd live in the suburbs (probably Bang Kapi), which is where I lived from 2002-3, and totally immersed myself in local society and nightlife.

    8) Intermediate, and have an accent better than most long termers here (have passed for being Thai a few times on the phone). I go to school once per week, hold convos with friends, and watch Thai TV to learn to keep up with the language, of which I can understand about 40% of what is being said. I think I'm doing ok for 2 years here.

    9) see above. I love languages, especially tough ones.

    10) What a dumb fuck question. Don't judge the real me on Smeg's cyber- persona

    11) How long is a piece of string? It all depends on the person, but I think the most important factor is how much you hate your native country, hence how much of a need do you have to accept and be accepted in a new country.

    12) No, it depends on your need and ability to adapt and accept a new country as being "where you truly belong" (despite whether most of the locals agree)

    13) kk or Bangkok Phil .

    kk, not because he loves Thailand (I actualy think he doesn't like it here, and would go back to the UK tomorrow if he had any way possible of being able to afford it), but because he has made being a Thaiophile into a career, ie the only way he can pay his bills is to talk the place up and see off anyone who talks the place down so that other Westerners will see it in a better light than it deserves, and maybe invest in his TEFL cert

    BKK Phli, because he came here before the internet, BTS etc, stuck it out, got involved in loads of things, did a job he doesn't much like for years just to stay here, and now is part of the furniture. However, I think that he too would like to leave (he admits that he is bored senseless whenever he steps outside his door), but can't.

    14) Too much to be bothered to write. However, my Thai uni mates were happy to meet a Brit who knew quite a bit about their country and language (they are the only nationality I know of who study in the UK who don't mix at all well with anyone much other than their own nationals, and didnt seem to appreciate the experience of studying abroad)

    15) Accept it as just another bizarre part of life here.

    16) Nope, not so far. I like to keep the net and my real life apart. The net is just a toy. However, I may change my mind, who knows.

    17) Central Chit Lom and Robinsons Asoke. In 2002 it was cheap shite from Tawana, Bang Kapi, but then I was a, erm, na, I dont wanna say it.

    18) Nope, coz a lot of expats, including at my place, who come here for a few days or weeks to do projects or meet clients have them too. but it does piss me off that some musuems and parks etc charge me as a tourist, even tho I have a WP, 2 driving licences, and a SS card (proving that I pay tax so should benefit from Govt subsisies)

    19) 10% on my salary, who cares. I think of it as paying a soldiers salary! I still have enough to do what I want to do. Here, the money seems more like monopoly money anyway, I don't take it as seriously as back home (where I'd check my payslips closely every month)

    20) Most places between Bangkok and Nong Khai, but thats it.

    21) You what? Nope, I've only been there twice, and for a total of 4 days. I don't like the main strip, its like Suk on steroids. However, Jomtien and the inland part of Pattaya is ok, kinda "normal"!

    22) Pretty much nothing, and I eat it in some form every day. I love it. Oh, actually, I've never fancied those chunks of congealed blood that come in some noodle soups. Fcuking gross.

    23) Anything on the menu of TarSiam restaurant, which is as Thai as it comes....

    24) They don't have much chance here, when teacher appearance seems to count for more than ability. How fcuking shallow is that.

    25) I ignore them. I can't possibly relate to anything that is their life. They creep me out a bit when they hang out in packs in the shadows, but I've never seen one that I couldn't deck in one punch


    If you have reached this point without falling asleep on your keypad, and left a long "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa" across the screen via your nose, then you are a better person than I'll ever be

    I hope that these questions weren't to give you 25 opportunities to fcuking kick me now Pat!
    Last edited by Smeg; 19-03-2006 at 12:37 AM.

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smeg
    I've always worked for multinational organisations,
    Really?

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Pat
    Quote Originally Posted by poolcleaner
    no chance you can help fill the place with uni totty?

    I'll do my best. If all else fails I'll turn up myself wearing the uniform.

  16. #16
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    ^ That is truely horrible. But his blouse should be a lot tighter - the front buttons should be pulling apart under the strain of his little boobs and bra.

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smeg
    and I love watersports
    the truth will out

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by DJPat
    5. Do you get invited to parties here in Bangkok? Can you name a party at a recognised venue that you can prove you were invited to? (NOT networking events either)

    I saw this question last night and thought it was real head up arse stuff.

    DJ Pat - What a wanker!


    Quote Originally Posted by Smeg
    5) and I'm not one of these tossers who judges his life success by how many parties he goes to. I imagine thats more a DJ's type of attitude to life.

    Good response to that one.

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by dirtydog
    Pat, it would be extremely interesting if you answered your own questions....
    Yes, I would tend to agree! This could be interesting.

  20. #20
    Being chased by sloths DJ Pat's Avatar
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    1. With your obvious hatred of the TEFL industry and malice toward this country, why have you returned?
    I'm half Thai, been coming for years

    2. Are you addicted to Thai girls?
    Sometimes
    3. Did you deliberately take a job at the UN / some US bank (or wherever) to get "one over" on the TEFL-ers?
    Nope

    4. Have you any Thai friends?
    Yes many.

    5. Do you get invited to parties here in Bangkok? Can you name a party at a recognised venue that you can prove you were invited to? (NOT networking events either)
    not that often, last party I attended was in Oct 2004 at Gaysorn's 2nd anniversary. I was in hell.

    6. When girls ask you if you're a teacher, how annoyed do you get?
    I tell them I used to be

    7.Do you live in an apartment or one room accomadation? Do you have a good relationship with the locals?
    Big 50 sqM room and the locals are a pain when they stare.

    8. Can you speak Thai? To what level?
    Yes, a good level. 70% but the accent is a problem with non-Bkk folks sometimes

    9. Are you the kind of person who's too arrogant to learn Thai other than the usual polite "hello" and "how are you"
    No. I say learn as much as possible and remember the locals aren't laughing at you, it's their way of lightening up the situation. Keep trying.

    10. What was your girlfriend's friend's reaction when she introduced you to them? Did you smile and be polite or did you adopt a long, miserable face?
    I was smiling and fun. i was miserable once though, it scared them.

    11. How long does it take to become a Thaiophile?
    No idea. As long as you wanna take?

    12. Would you say that becoming a Thaiophile is dependant on financial status?
    Yes I think so.

    13. Who do you consider the ultimate champion of Thaiophiles?
    smeg is a closet job

    14. When you returned to Bournemouth, what did you tell your family? And what did you tell your Thai university mates?
    N/A

    15. How do you feel when you see a Thai person in public picking their nose but covering their mouth when using a toothpick?
    I wanna whack them over the head. Hard.

    16. Have / Do you ever socialise with people that you met via an online discussion forum?
    Sometimes, yes.

    17. Where did you purchase your work attire?
    Robinsons, mostly.

    18. Does it annoy you when you are taken as a tourist despite having your namecard round your neck?
    Yes it fucking does but I ain' got no namecard.

    19. What about paying tax? How do you feel to be contributing to such a corrupt economy?
    I don't.

    20. What Isaan places have you visited?
    loads!

    21. Was Pattaya your first place you visited in Thailand?
    Nope

    22. What Thai food turns your stomach?
    The stinkin boiled noodle stalls. Ugh.

    23. What Thai food do you eat?
    All but the above, and no giblets or chicken feet.

    24. Whats your view on TEFL-ing African guys?
    How fuckin desperate do you wanna get?

    25. Do you find katoeys ever so tiresome?
    Yes. very.

  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Pat
    the locals are a pain when they stare.
    why would they stare at you...you're a half-breed by your own admission...

    i find Thais never stare at halfbreeds - i have many in my classes at uni...they're dime-a-dozen...

    and a full-breed 'farang' would need to go somewhere pretty isolated in Thailand to be stared at these days.

  22. #22
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    ^This is Pat, I tink most people stare at him!


  23. #23
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    [quote=colourful-era]
    Quote Originally Posted by DJPat
    5. Do you get invited to parties here in Bangkok? Can you name a party at a recognised venue that you can prove you were invited to? (NOT networking events either)

    I saw this question last night and thought it was real head up arse stuff.

    DJ Pat - What a wanker!


    Quote Originally Posted by Smeg
    5) and I'm not one of these tossers who judges his life success by how many parties he goes to. I imagine thats more a DJ's type of attitude to life.
    Yes, for sure. I think his own Gaysorn answer to the question is actually not what he originally planned - he was probably getting ready to gleefully brag about what a popular fellow he is but thought better of it after other posters noticed what a nob he sounds.

    Actually I sense a deep rooted feeling of insecurity in DJ Pat.

  24. #24
    born of a jackal
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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Pat
    I'm half Thai, been coming for years

    Are you really half-Thai or are you saying this just as a figure of speech?

  25. #25
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    He really is half Thai.

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