Piss a Korean Off Month

[Wayne Kerr]

Piss a Korean Off Month - A Plea for Advice

Having a bit of a problem with a few Koreans muscling in on my turf. My soi is quickly turning into bloody “Little Seoul” and next thing a friggin kim chi or bbq dog joint will open up near by. Anyway the cunts have taken things one step too far by trying to rent my fucking house and are threatening my landlord (who owns the places they live in) that they'll move somewhere else unless they can rent mine too which will give them a row of four fucking houses. So next thing I know I have the fucking landlord calling up saying she's going to fucking nearly double the rent, because she's a friggin Chinese would-be-if-she-could-be mole who fucking owes the bank a shed load of dosh in loans on the places.

So the question old chaps is can I drive the Korean cunts off? I like where I live, a perfect inner city abode. The beer is cold, the Internet's fast, and the girls are fun. I’ve known the neighbourhood for about 7 years and feel at home. Best idea I’ve come up with is leaving a dead fish on their door steps and dropping a few litres of fish oil into their air-conditioning units. A couple of Thai neighbours have suggested hit men but I know they’d drop me in it if caught.

I’m sure some of you know the Koreans. My only experience apart from their general arrogant [at][at][at][at] attitude is working with a Professor from there who scored a sabbatical down under and wasted my fucking time playing golf for a year rather than doing any f’n work. He was compulsive about cleanliness though so maybe I should pay some local to collect as much dog shit he can each night and drop his load on their friggin doorsteps. I could pay by the kilo.

Anyway would love to hear some advice from you guys about what pisses the Korean pricks off, what they are scared of, and any suggestions for how to make "Piss a Korean Off Month" in my soi the best. I can take photos and document the event on here. Okay I am a little drunk now so will also probably appreciate any sobering advice tomorrow to the effect that I should just accept these cunts and move onto a better part of town.

[mrsquirrel]

Offer them some US beef

[Jet Gorgon]

Where's Mrs Kerr in all this?
You will not like the smell of living in Kimchee Kounty and from my experience, they are not all clean freaks.
Pretty nasty of them to try and turn you out of your home, tho. Maybe it's time to get some large American and Thai friends to hang out on your street? Definitely watch out for your pets.

[Sir Burr]

Start flying a Japanese flag in your front garden.

[Marmite the Dog]

Write their names in red paint on their walls or the road.

[Wayne Kerr]

Where's Mrs Kerr in all this?

Mrs. Kerr wants the Chinese-Thai bird's guts for garters. She is working on that .

Start flying a Japanese flag in your front garden.

Never, but I'm sure the Thai family across the road wouldn't mind. Maybe I could have someone paint it in on their doors. Now there's an idea .

[Wayne Kerr]

Write their names in red paint on their walls or the road.

Forgot about that one ... cheers old chap

If I were to write it on the road in front of their home do you think the effect would be greater if it was the right way up so they could read it when leaving or arriving?

[Bluecat]

If you can't beat them, join them.
They like drinking and girls.
And they usually get drunk pretty fast with beer.
Bring them to Nana for a few nights, get them drunk and they'll love you.
They might even pay your rent...

[Jet Gorgon]

^ True. Get Mrs Kerr to cook sone garlic and take it over with some beers. Ask them if they are from Tokyo.

Hey, what's the name-writing in red paint thing?

[peterpan]

If you can't beat them, join them.
They like drinking and girls.
And they usually get drunk pretty fast with beer.
Bring them to Nana for a few nights, get them drunk and they'll love you.
They might even pay your rent...

My experiences when I was doing frequent trips there was they liked Brandy and boys, a good night out was getting pissed and then dancing with each other, the queerest bunch of cunts I have ever met.
Horrible to do business with, the most xenophobic nation, I always think they have all the worst characteristics of the Japanese but none of the redeeming ones.

Sorry Wayne, no solution to your problem just commiserating.

[Bluecat]

My experiences when I was doing frequent trips there was they liked Brandy and boys, a good night out was getting pissed and then dancing with each other, the queerest bunch of cunts I have ever met.

Pretty happy I never met the Korean you met, Peter. The ones I met were indeed into Brandy (hence the beer thing, they're not used to it) but they sure like girls...

Horrible to do business with, the most xenophobic nation

Well, these ones I met them also...

[Texpat]

^^ I was in Daegu a few years ago doing combined airdrops with the Koreans. One of their generals (Army) came out to look at our planes and started introducing himself and shaking hands with the mechanics and aircrews.

Only he wouldn't let go for about a minute. He'd put his arm around them and start rubbing their shoulder and carressing their hands. Looked queer as a Butterfly birthday party.

We were fcuking dying -- literally doubled over with laughter and tears streaming down our faces as this knut went from plane to plane inspecting our planes and personnel. The looks on our guys' faces was priceless -- absolutely horrorified. Some of our guys saw what was happening and went diving for cover into hatches and lockers.

The ironic part is this guy commanded a Korean Army Special Ops Group of tree-jumpers -- probably one of the hardest units in the Korean Army.

[Fstop]

Horrible to do business with, the most xenophobic nation, I always think they have all the worst characteristics of the Japanese but none of the redeeming ones.

Exactly. Korea is the pile of shit left over when God created Japan. Having spent two years there, probably the thing that pisses them off the most are non-Koreans. Buy an American flag and put it on your doorstep (or theirs). If they've got kimchi pots outside open them up (or tip them over) - you've never encountered a more foul smell in your life.

If you really want to piss them off, start dating one of their daughters (oh wait, you're married!). Steal their soju - I bet it's a bitch to bring it over here. Or just pay the rent so you don't have to move -- eventually they might give up and move out (but somehow I doubt it).

[Wayne Kerr]

These chaps like girls, well at least I think. They have one house they rent to house them all. The girls are nice but not the normal Korean chap type. These chaps are running some herbal medicine joint, the girls pack the pills.

Maybe I could have some queers entice them out and spray their names on their faces in red paint and have some devo stick a Japanese flag up their arses.

Or just pay the rent so you don't have to move -- eventually they might give up and move out (but somehow I doubt it).

I doubt it too mate. Rent really aint the issue rather their f'n arsehole approach to get what they want.

[peterpan]

They certainly loath the Japanese, maybe there is a solution there

[Sir Burr]

Play the Japanese national anthem over crackly speakers in their direction at 5 in the morning.

[barbaro]

Offer them some US beef

Hey, mr. Sq:

What is with this topic about US beef in S. Korea.

I read the thread about the teacher (Dave's) who got in a row with his students over this.

Is this a rumour, or did bad US beef get into Kimchee land.

[peterpan]

No MM, they just hate anything imported.

I sold and installed some baking plants there, they insisted that the gas firing systems be modified to suit Korean regs.
I told them it wouldn't be safe, bit they knew better, and sure enough, one by one they blew them up, it was a good business sending people over to repair them.

[Wayne Kerr]

Well I've found out the ring leader's name is "Mr. Kim" ... do you think it would upset him if I wrote the name of his company in red too?

National anthem easy to find. My old mate across the road has a copy he'll turn on when the cunts show their faces .

[peterpan]

At least half the population is called Kim, shows you what stupid fvcks they are.

[Topper]

Invite the men over to have beer and snakes blood. They all know how special snakes blood is and how it can help a man. Just tell them your special snake has white blood that you'll be happy to deposit in their drinks...at a special low price because they're neighbors.

[Sir Burr]

Put up a poster saying "Kim Il Jung for president of South Korea"

[Wayne Kerr]

Do you think he'll mind if I write "Kim you Stupid [at][at][at][at]" ... might need a Thai translation of that so his staff can read for him .

[Fstop]

No MM, they just hate anything imported.

Ain't that the truth. The country claims to be "the hub of Asia" yet they make it extremely difficult to import anything. Buying a Honda vehicle comes with a $13,000 tariff attached to it. Any foreign product has to be acquired at a "black market" which can take ages to find.

[Wayne Kerr]

I can print this but need some way of sticking it onto his wall so he can't get it off ... any ideas?