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  1. #1
    I am in Jail
    Smeg's Avatar
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    Have you been assimilated yet?

    The Collective
    The Thaiophiles is a vast collective of humanoids that have been assimilated by the Thai Collective. These humanoids, called Thaiophile drones, have various cybernetic implants embedded inside and outside their bodies. These implants connect all the drones to each other in a massive collective called the hive mind, which supresses each drone's individuality. Drones have the ability to adapt to online enemy criticism, which makes them a powerful enemy. Their main goal is to find perfection by helping to assimilate more species and technology, such as using their Western genetics for creating actors and pop stars, the English language, mobile phones, movies, the internet, aircon, and modern medicines, but they and their leaders only assimilate what they think is relevant biological or technological traits. They are un-emotional but efficient and can only grow in numbers by assimilation.

    The traditional Thai hail which is delivered before the Thaiophile assimilation is as follows: "We are the Thais. You will be assimilated. Your biological and technological distinctiveness will be added to our own. Resistance is futile."

    Assimilation
    Nanoprobes are injected into the victim's body through injection tubes. The Nanoprobes use the victims bloodstream and red blood cells to reach their targets within the body to rewrite the victims DNA. Implants and an exoskeletton are created on the individual, and the assimilated individual looses their hair and grows a large beer-belly. A Cortical Implant is installed in the cerebral cortex to allow the assimilated humanoid to be included in the collective consciousness. Other implants that are installed, among others, are the mental reprogramming to force full acceptance of the use of the word "farang".

    Finally, once individuality has been stripped, the drone will be given a specified task to carry out within a specified unimatrix, quite possibly teaching.

  2. #2
    Being chased by sloths DJ Pat's Avatar
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    A series of words are then implanted into the immediete memory to assist in everyday living:

    "happy hour"

    "tilac"

    "DK books" (complete with location map)

    "privates"

    "whiteboard"

    "cheap 289 Baht iron"

    "nana"

    "chang"

    "smeg"

    "lesson plan"

  3. #3
    Not again! machangezi's Avatar
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    Chee kus e aikay khu mukhree Smeg?

  4. #4
    Thailand Expat
    DrAndy's Avatar
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    wonder where all that was assimilated from, and altered to suit?

  5. #5
    I am in Jail
    Smeg's Avatar
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    http://www.startrek-voyager.info/j.html

    Not much alteration required

  6. #6
    I am in Jail
    Lily's Avatar
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    I will say it again.

    He is not a bit interested in Teflers. Doesnt even think about them these days.

    mmmmmmmmm?

  7. #7
    Thailand Expat
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    why does he not think about TEFLers Lily?

    are they not cute enough? do they smell? do they fancy him?

  8. #8
    I am in Jail
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    I specifically avoided using those 4 letters in this thread

  9. #9
    I am in Jail
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lily
    He is not a bit interested in Teflers. Doesnt even think about them these days.
    Well he did make that statement on another thread.

    Quote Originally Posted by DrAndy
    are they not cute enough? do they smell? do they
    fancy him?
    All of the above, I would imagine, plus every other human failing known to man.
    But the main one is that they have the absolute gall to be happy.

  10. #10
    This is not my avatar
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    True, Smeg hasn't mentioned TEFL yet, Lily!!!

  11. #11
    I am in Jail
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    You are right Nick. Maybe now real teachers are on his hit list.

  12. #12
    RIP
    klongmaster's Avatar
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    i'm starting to think that lily is KK cause she's always the first to have a chip at the troll

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Macha
    Chee kus e aikay khu mukhree Smeg?
    Sounds like you've been assimilated !

  14. #14
    This is not my avatar
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    Chee kus e aikay khu mukhree Smeg?
    Is that Klingon, Macha?

  15. #15
    Whopping Member
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    Don't feed the troll.

  16. #16
    I am in Jail
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    Quote Originally Posted by benbaaa
    Don't feed the troll.
    This automated defence phrase is triggered as a primary axiom in the collective hive cyber counter-attack mechanism, implanted in senior drones and transmitted as a warning to newly assimilated drones of an enemy presence. However, its upload port has been infected by a virus which causes the newer drones to reject it, and instead amalgamate with other drones in the proximity to try to develop alternate defences. However, their status as a collective of newly assimilated drones and lack of experience at dealing with predator situations results in such defence development being virtually useless.

  17. #17
    Thailand Expat
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    yawn...

  18. #18
    punk douche bag
    ChiangMai noon's Avatar
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    I'm not sure i understand this thread.... actually I am quite sure I don't understand this thread.

  19. #19
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    yawn,

    wrong channel troll AKA smeg AKA CD playing patdick.

  20. #20
    I am in Jail
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    Quote Originally Posted by kingwillyhggtb
    wrong channel troll AKA smeg AKA CD playing patdick.
    No. I am Locutus. I was previously assimilated and served as an official spokes-unit of the collective hive. Since my escape and the surgical removal of my mind probes, I have utilised my insider knowledge to become a renegade crusader, serving as a primary critic of the collective hive.
    Last edited by Smeg; 16-03-2006 at 09:11 AM.

  21. #21
    Thailand Expat
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    I am so glad you changed your gay avatar Smeg. Now you have a more suitable one

  22. #22
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    Seems like he's really gone off his medication.

  23. #23
    This is not my avatar
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    Sorry Smeg, I'd like to say something, but I really can't be bothered to read your posts.

    I used to try and watch Star Trek cos it was the only thing on at 6:00 after Neighbours had finished, but I don't think I ever stated awake through a whole episode. I must have tried hundreds of times, but that program is like a really powerful sedative to me, I know how a lot of the episodes start, but bugger me if I know what happens in the end, but they come back all the time so i guess the goodies must win or something like that.

    Great post Nick

    Thanks!

    My pleasure.

  24. #24
    I am in Jail
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    Quote Originally Posted by NickA
    I'd like to say something, but I really can't be bothered to read your posts.

    Blah de blah de blah neighbours blah de blah.
    Its a bummer, this posting for the sake of it addiction

  25. #25
    Thailand Expat
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    yes Smeg, you seem to have it bad.

    and changing ones avatar frequently, that is also an indication of instability

    or maybe you cannot decide whether to be gay or macho, or just loony

    in cyberspace, I rush to add

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