Thread: Please Sir, it's not my fault!

*rant on*

Please Sir, it's not my fault!

I love my missus to bits (or in bits would be more appropriate at the moment!). However, two things bug the hell out of me:

1. Please
My missus cannot say "please" to me - for anything. More annoying, however, is not that the word doesn't exist in her vocab, it does, but just that it doesn't exist so far as I am concerned! I must tell her at least once a week that if she only said "please" to me that task would be done much more willingly. Last night we had a fight about this, she told me she was my wife and so didn't need to say "please". We didn't talk for the remainder of the night (despite my mother's advice that you should never sleep on an argument).

2. It's not my fault
The second thing that bugs the hell out of me with my missus is that she can never accept that something may be her fault. The rest of the planet Earth would need to be blamed for something before my missus would accept she may have something to be responsible for. I don't know why she cannot just accept her fate and face the music. But oh no, no way that's going to happen. Today she was caught speeding. Not her fault. Why? Because she was not speeding. How does she know she was not speeding? Because she didn't think she was driving fast. What was the speed limit in that area you may ask (as I did)? No idea - but she wasn't speeding. When I told her that was bollocks she changed tact and decided that the it was BMW's fault. How, you may wonder, did BMW get the blame. Simple, if we have speed limits, why does BMW build a car that can break those speed limits!!

That said, I would love to have seen the look on the cops face when he asked her for her driving licence (which, she tells me, he did), which went as follows:

HER: "Haven't got it"
COP: "Where is it?"
HER: "At the police station"
COP:"And why is your driving licence at the police station?"
HER: "Taken last month by another cop and I haven't gone to collect it yet. You can phone to check if you want to"

Poor cop decided it would be easy to take the B200 and get rid of this one. If only I had the same out option

*rant over*

Sounds to me like normal irritations that people who live together experience.

I would knock the 'please' thing on the head though.

Maybe in Thai, you dont have to use the polite words with intimates.

Most requests from a thai wife to their husband sounds like an order, because it is !

Garuna is more formal and can be construed as pleading. "please" really isn't a concept for inmates, er uh intimates. The nothing is my fault thing... Man I cannot deal with people like that. Fucking drives me crazy!

thai women - dont we love them!

mine also completely refuses to reveal / discuss anything vaguely intimate

and i dont mean pillow talk - anything to do with the future or her wants thoughts or desires gets deflected or 'no comment'

bloody painful!

If you don't get a 'please' just hold out on acquiescence and ask, 'What's the magic word?' - This will go one of two ways: You'll either get a grudging but welcome 'please', or she'll kick you in the shins and put itching powder in your underpants.

I think I can explain about "please".

Myself, I rarely say the word "please" with people who I think they are closed. I just think we understand each other well, why we still keep saying formal things. Maybe it's a Thai way, we just "take it easy" in everything or at least it's just me.

Since I have been with errr.. well, let's say, now I know how to use "please" and I'm getting better to know when / where I should use it.

What am I going to say? hmm.. Let's me think a bit then I'll tell you guys more.

Its not about how close you are with a person IMO. Its about mannarism.
My friends are very close to me but I do use polite words (please is one of them).

Do Thai people who are close say Ka and Krup to each other?

thank you very much for your delightful post Frankie

Originally Posted by Lily

Do Thai people who are close say Ka and Krup to each other?

Other people may do but not me.

Well that is why 'please' doesn't come naturally.

We dont use it as formal speech, it is everyday politeness.

Even if I ask for something in Thai, I add please.

I must say, the 'concept' of please is not difficult for my missus to understand. She often uses "please" and "thank you" with friends [of mine/ours], etc. It seems like it is just with me she lacks this skill. I do appreciate that the relationship may be more *intimate*, but still!!

I am slowly getting used to it. But coming from a family where "please" and "thank you" was very important, it takes some getting used to

Which leads on to another topic that arose from this. Why must I learn all of the social graces and skills of *her* culture, if she is not apparently willing to learn any of *mine*?

GoW, you should use please and thankyou and sorry all the time, even if it seems uncomfortable or boring. Unfortunately this is just the English way.

It is not uncommon for me to say thankyou to someone when I have done something for them. Also, English people are quite likely to say sorry when someone else bumps into them or makes a mistake.

It is something of a disease that we Brits (and other nationalities have) and it's hard to shake and sometimes we judge others by the same standard even though we shouldn't.

If you don't use please and thankyou with someone close it might be OK at first, but at some point that person is going to think you are ungrateful or take them for granted.

If you use "Yes, please" and "No, thankyou" all the time you can't go wrong.

I think my wife says please and thankyou quite a lot, but not all the time. I have trouble getting her to make the kids use it.

I have the annoying habbit of having to say thankyou to Thai people even after I have thanked them in Thai, I just kind of think it's rude not too, even though I know they don't expect it.

^ well said that man!

As well as saying please and thank you in English when I ask for something using Thai, I also preface it with 'Could I have.'

Confuses them no end but these politenesses were drummed into us as children.

Originally Posted by NickA

GoW, you should use please and thankyou and sorry all the time, even if it seems uncomfortable or boring. Unfortunately this is just the English way.

I know and I have said

Since I have been with errr.. well, let's say, now I know how to use "please" and I'm getting better to know when / where I should use it.

As I said before, I am geting to use the word "please" more often and yes, I also use "No, thanks" also.

I know how you feel when someone asks something from you without "please", one guy has explained me about this already.

Originally Posted by DrAndy

As GoW said above, it is not normal for intimate Thais to use the word "please" in their communications, so is difficult to learn to add it.

Yes, it's difficult to learn to add it. It's like the old people who do something for long time and it's just not easy to change the way they normally do to something else.

But! it depends on people, some Thais who are not too thick can learn and add it fast, such as me for a good example.

Most females always say please to me so maybe we're talking about the quality of your other half ("tilac" is far too BG-ish I'm afraid and often gives away your go-go bar cruising background) and what she wants from you when she 'demands' things from you.


Most Thais despise farangs so will never learn to be polite towards them, especially if your GF has a Thai BF on the side that you are not aware of.

Well Pat, we know that the girls beg you.

Not being big-headed but some do.

Pat

I thought you spoke Thai with your GFs?

Again I say, is this the TD?