Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 58
  1. #1
    Thailand Expat
    William's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Last Online
    19-05-2013 @ 06:37 AM
    Location
    In jail
    Posts
    5,822

    Please Sir, it's not my fault!

    *rant on*

    Please Sir, it's not my fault!

    I love my missus to bits (or in bits would be more appropriate at the moment!). However, two things bug the hell out of me:

    1. Please
    My missus cannot say "please" to me - for anything. More annoying, however, is not that the word doesn't exist in her vocab, it does, but just that it doesn't exist so far as I am concerned! I must tell her at least once a week that if she only said "please" to me that task would be done much more willingly. Last night we had a fight about this, she told me she was my wife and so didn't need to say "please". We didn't talk for the remainder of the night (despite my mother's advice that you should never sleep on an argument).

    2. It's not my fault
    The second thing that bugs the hell out of me with my missus is that she can never accept that something may be her fault. The rest of the planet Earth would need to be blamed for something before my missus would accept she may have something to be responsible for. I don't know why she cannot just accept her fate and face the music. But oh no, no way that's going to happen. Today she was caught speeding. Not her fault. Why? Because she was not speeding. How does she know she was not speeding? Because she didn't think she was driving fast. What was the speed limit in that area you may ask (as I did)? No idea - but she wasn't speeding. When I told her that was bollocks she changed tact and decided that the it was BMW's fault. How, you may wonder, did BMW get the blame. Simple, if we have speed limits, why does BMW build a car that can break those speed limits!!

    That said, I would love to have seen the look on the cops face when he asked her for her driving licence (which, she tells me, he did), which went as follows:

    HER: "Haven't got it"
    COP: "Where is it?"
    HER: "At the police station"
    COP:"And why is your driving licence at the police station?"
    HER: "Taken last month by another cop and I haven't gone to collect it yet. You can phone to check if you want to"

    Poor cop decided it would be easy to take the B200 and get rid of this one. If only I had the same out option

    *rant over*

  2. #2
    I am in Jail
    Lily's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Last Online
    14-05-2014 @ 05:06 PM
    Posts
    6,815
    Sounds to me like normal irritations that people who live together experience.

    I would knock the 'please' thing on the head though.

    Maybe in Thai, you dont have to use the polite words with intimates.

  3. #3
    Member
    Fon Tok's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Last Online
    07-12-2011 @ 09:28 PM
    Posts
    180
    Most requests from a thai wife to their husband sounds like an order, because it is !

  4. #4
    Northern Hermit
    friscofrankie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    Chiangmai, Thailand
    Posts
    7,526
    Garuna is more formal and can be construed as pleading. "please" really isn't a concept for inmates, er uh intimates. The nothing is my fault thing... Man I cannot deal with people like that. Fucking drives me crazy!

  5. #5
    Thailand Expat
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Last Online
    @
    Posts
    60,017
    thai women - dont we love them!

    mine also completely refuses to reveal / discuss anything vaguely intimate

    and i dont mean pillow talk - anything to do with the future or her wants thoughts or desires gets deflected or 'no comment'

    bloody painful!

  6. #6
    Whopping Member
    benbaaa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Last Online
    06-06-2017 @ 03:52 PM
    Location
    In the comfy chair
    Posts
    5,549
    It all sounds scarily familiar with the former Mrs Benbaaa. I used to think she was yelling at our mutts and carry on watching the telly. When she came barging in asking why the hell I hadn't jumped to attention, I'd smile sweetly and say, 'Oh, were you talking to me, tilac? I am sorry, I thought you were shouting at the dog. Now what was it you wanted?' This would drive her over the edge with rage and we wouldn't speak for 24 hours. Result.
    The sleep of reason brings forth monsters.

  7. #7
    befuddled
    danbo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Last Online
    10-08-2008 @ 10:57 PM
    Location
    Hatty Town
    Posts
    3,452
    If you don't get a 'please' just hold out on acquiescence and ask, 'What's the magic word?' - This will go one of two ways: You'll either get a grudging but welcome 'please', or she'll kick you in the shins and put itching powder in your underpants.

  8. #8
    A bladdy woman
    Goddess of Whatever's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Last Online
    29-04-2009 @ 05:13 PM
    Location
    Somewhere I belong but it won't be last long
    Posts
    4,247
    I think I can explain about "please".

    Myself, I rarely say the word "please" with people who I think they are closed. I just think we understand each other well, why we still keep saying formal things. Maybe it's a Thai way, we just "take it easy" in everything or at least it's just me.

    Since I have been with errr.. well, let's say, now I know how to use "please" and I'm getting better to know when / where I should use it.

    What am I going to say? hmm.. Let's me think a bit then I'll tell you guys more.




  9. #9
    Not again! machangezi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Last Online
    24-06-2018 @ 03:47 AM
    Location
    Out there!
    Posts
    7,676
    Its not about how close you are with a person IMO. Its about mannarism.
    My friends are very close to me but I do use polite words (please is one of them).

  10. #10
    I am in Jail
    Lily's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Last Online
    14-05-2014 @ 05:06 PM
    Posts
    6,815
    Do Thai people who are close say Ka and Krup to each other?

  11. #11
    Thailand Expat
    DrAndy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Last Online
    25-03-2014 @ 05:29 PM
    Location
    yes
    Posts
    32,028
    Quote Originally Posted by kingwillyhggtb
    thai women - dont we love them!

    mine also completely refuses to reveal / discuss anything vaguely intimate

    and i dont mean pillow talk - anything to do with the future or her wants thoughts or desires gets deflected or 'no comment'

    bloody painful!
    blimey KingW, mine is the opposite. She loves to talk about all that stuff "our future" etc etc. and what she wants comes into it!

    I think maybe that Thai women come in all shapes and sizes, as in any society. No generalisation about some things is possible, it is just her.

    The "please" thing is cultural though, so can be difficult to understand. If she can speak English, that's good, but to learn the extra things that go with the language takes longer.

    As GoW said above, it is not normal for intimate Thais to use the word "please" in their communications, so is difficult to learn to add it.
    Last edited by DrAndy; 15-03-2006 at 12:03 PM.
    I have reported your post

  12. #12
    Northern Hermit
    friscofrankie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    Chiangmai, Thailand
    Posts
    7,526
    Quote Originally Posted by Lily
    Do Thai people who are close say Ka and Krup to each other?
    only as aknowledgement not in the formal sense.
    Some common speech patterns just end up with kha or khrrap at the end and they are in use in close or formal speech, but no they do not use the kha or khrap in intimate speach nearly as much.
    I just think it is our cultural differences raisng their ugly head. I've have had a problem with thank you and please as well. With people I am comfortable, or "close" with I sometmes do leave it off; when I realize I have done so, I will usually try to explain/apologize.
    When the people fear their government, there is tyranny; when the government fears the people, there is liberty -- T. Jefferson


  13. #13
    Thailand Expat
    DrAndy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Last Online
    25-03-2014 @ 05:29 PM
    Location
    yes
    Posts
    32,028
    thank you very much for your delightful post Frankie

  14. #14
    A bladdy woman
    Goddess of Whatever's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Last Online
    29-04-2009 @ 05:13 PM
    Location
    Somewhere I belong but it won't be last long
    Posts
    4,247
    Quote Originally Posted by Lily
    Do Thai people who are close say Ka and Krup to each other?
    Other people may do but not me.

  15. #15
    I am in Jail
    Lily's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Last Online
    14-05-2014 @ 05:06 PM
    Posts
    6,815
    Well that is why 'please' doesn't come naturally.

    We dont use it as formal speech, it is everyday politeness.

    Even if I ask for something in Thai, I add please.

  16. #16
    Thailand Expat
    William's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Last Online
    19-05-2013 @ 06:37 AM
    Location
    In jail
    Posts
    5,822
    I must say, the 'concept' of please is not difficult for my missus to understand. She often uses "please" and "thank you" with friends [of mine/ours], etc. It seems like it is just with me she lacks this skill. I do appreciate that the relationship may be more *intimate*, but still!!

    I am slowly getting used to it. But coming from a family where "please" and "thank you" was very important, it takes some getting used to

    Which leads on to another topic that arose from this. Why must I learn all of the social graces and skills of *her* culture, if she is not apparently willing to learn any of *mine*?

  17. #17
    This is not my avatar
    NickA's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Last Online
    @
    Posts
    11,204
    GoW, you should use please and thankyou and sorry all the time, even if it seems uncomfortable or boring. Unfortunately this is just the English way.

    It is not uncommon for me to say thankyou to someone when I have done something for them. Also, English people are quite likely to say sorry when someone else bumps into them or makes a mistake.

    It is something of a disease that we Brits (and other nationalities have) and it's hard to shake and sometimes we judge others by the same standard even though we shouldn't.

    If you don't use please and thankyou with someone close it might be OK at first, but at some point that person is going to think you are ungrateful or take them for granted.

    If you use "Yes, please" and "No, thankyou" all the time you can't go wrong.

    I think my wife says please and thankyou quite a lot, but not all the time. I have trouble getting her to make the kids use it.

    I have the annoying habbit of having to say thankyou to Thai people even after I have thanked them in Thai, I just kind of think it's rude not too, even though I know they don't expect it.

  18. #18
    Thailand Expat
    William's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Last Online
    19-05-2013 @ 06:37 AM
    Location
    In jail
    Posts
    5,822
    ^ well said that man!

  19. #19
    I am in Jail
    Lily's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Last Online
    14-05-2014 @ 05:06 PM
    Posts
    6,815
    As well as saying please and thank you in English when I ask for something using Thai, I also preface it with 'Could I have.'

    Confuses them no end but these politenesses were drummed into us as children.

  20. #20
    A bladdy woman
    Goddess of Whatever's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Last Online
    29-04-2009 @ 05:13 PM
    Location
    Somewhere I belong but it won't be last long
    Posts
    4,247
    Quote Originally Posted by NickA
    GoW, you should use please and thankyou and sorry all the time, even if it seems uncomfortable or boring. Unfortunately this is just the English way.
    I know and I have said
    Since I have been with errr.. well, let's say, now I know how to use "please" and I'm getting better to know when / where I should use it.
    As I said before, I am geting to use the word "please" more often and yes, I also use "No, thanks" also.

    I know how you feel when someone asks something from you without "please", one guy has explained me about this already.



    Quote Originally Posted by DrAndy
    As GoW said above, it is not normal for intimate Thais to use the word "please" in their communications, so is difficult to learn to add it.
    Yes, it's difficult to learn to add it. It's like the old people who do something for long time and it's just not easy to change the way they normally do to something else.

    But! it depends on people, some Thais who are not too thick can learn and add it fast, such as me for a good example.

  21. #21
    Being chased by sloths DJ Pat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Last Online
    06-10-2018 @ 05:27 PM
    Posts
    18,781
    Most females always say please to me so maybe we're talking about the quality of your other half ("tilac" is far too BG-ish I'm afraid and often gives away your go-go bar cruising background) and what she wants from you when she 'demands' things from you.


    Most Thais despise farangs so will never learn to be polite towards them, especially if your GF has a Thai BF on the side that you are not aware of.

  22. #22
    I am in Jail
    Lily's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Last Online
    14-05-2014 @ 05:06 PM
    Posts
    6,815
    Well Pat, we know that the girls beg you.

  23. #23
    Being chased by sloths DJ Pat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Last Online
    06-10-2018 @ 05:27 PM
    Posts
    18,781
    Not being big-headed but some do.

  24. #24
    Thailand Expat
    William's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Last Online
    19-05-2013 @ 06:37 AM
    Location
    In jail
    Posts
    5,822
    Pat

    I thought you spoke Thai with your GFs?

  25. #25
    This is not my avatar
    NickA's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Last Online
    @
    Posts
    11,204
    Again I say, is this the TD?

Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •