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Thread: "Vie de Merde"

  1. #1
    Thailand Expat

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    "Vie de Merde"

    "Life of Shit"



    made my day, finding this (and you can add to it!). You have to hunt for them, and suss the original meaning...

    Today, a young person came in my garden, to take again his balloon. I realized some because to jump the wall, it took support on a tube which connects my two tanks of fuel. Result: tube broken, 2000 liters of fuel in my garden.

    Today, my 6 year old daughter said in the supermarket line: "Dad, it's hurting me what you put in my bum." It was suppository.

    Today, I had an enormous evening on the beach in Thailand. I kissed a splendid girl and I decide to go further with it. While passing my hand under her skirt, I feel something of abnormal. I look at it and it answer me "What, you prefer ladies?"

    Today, I go up in a crammed elevator and, warning a small kid packed against the door which is closed again, I say to him: "moves back, my rabbit, if not you will be made wedge!". Except that the "rabbit" is turned over towards me and I realize that it is an adult dwarf

    Today, I return from holidays. I do not have any more my keys (probably forgotten in Germany). I thus rent a car to go until at home (2 hours of road). I arrive at home and I realize that the key of my apartment is in the car.

    Today, I present a PowerPoint before the Management committee. My Outlook is in day before and in full presentation, a small window of alarm e-mail appears on the screen with for object "Our response to your candidature of Director Marketing".

    Today, I am a stretcher-bearer in a private clinic. While going down, a patient appearing anxious with the operating theatre suite, I want to reassure it while saying to him: "you do not make a concern, you will be soon on foot!" before reading on its file: "left Amputation leg".

    Today, one was to look at Fight Club for the last hour of course of before holidays. Indeed, it was well Fight Club, but Bollywood version. 1h30 of Hindu songs in subtitled, and without Brad Pitt.

    Today, I was in India, with the airport the men and the women are excavated separately, the guy who accomodated us sent to me among women, I had to explain to him that I am a guy That took 15 minutes to me.
    That's just a bit from the first three pages... there are 173 more. You can post in English, too apparently.

    Or we can just start our own version

    It's interesting how different the results of these two sites are:

    Babelfish translated page (with errors galore):
    AltaVista - Babel Fish Translation

    Google translation (just as bad, but different)
    Translated version of http://www.viedemerde.fr/

    For those literate in French (not me, I'm Canadian)...
    Vie de merde
    Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone elses opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation. -Oscar Wilde

  2. #2
    I am in Jail

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    ^ You must be really bored, Hooty.

  3. #3
    Thailand Expat

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    Hmm.. the French have a word for that....

  4. #4
    Thailand Expat
    sabang's Avatar
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    04-09-2019 @ 05:06 AM
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    Ennui, 'Enri.

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