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  1. #1
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    Tell the forum something you haven't told anyone in real life!

    I do things and think of things in my head that makes me laugh, no one ever knows what im thinking but I just burst out laughing.
    I'd just seen American Psycho and while shagging my ex doggy, I noticed a mirror and flexed my arm while doing it.. She saw me but I was laughing to much to finish. she was well weirded out. Dont know what I was thinking.

    I hate my head.

  2. #2
    Thailand Expat
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    Tell the forum something you haven't told anyone in real life!

    I don't like trolls.

  3. #3

    R.I.P.


    dirtydog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by waah
    while shagging my ex doggy
    You really should keep your beastiality conquests a secret.

  4. #4
    watterinja
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    Tell the forum something you haven't told anyone in real life!

    I'm a distant relative of Einstein.

  5. #5
    Thailand Expat AntRobertson's Avatar
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    I am actually an alien sent here as part of a vaguard preparing for the eventual conquest, enslavement and domination of mankind.

    Clearly I can't say that in public for fear of creating panic before our plans are ready and underway. I only say it on here now because I suspect that 90% of the other posters are also aliens in deep-cover.

    If you're in the remaining 10% that's not, well then sleep well tonight. It could very well be your last night before assimilation and forced labour harvesting Trillium of the moons of Jupiter (or 'Bagglewaggle' as it's known to us natives). Of course your conundrum is also that if you try to warn anyone of our presence now they won't believe you and will most likely point and laugh and think you mad. So good luck with that.

    Hahaha, stupid humans!

  6. #6
    Roc
    Roc is offline
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    My name's Bob and I'm a cereal killer.......

  7. #7
    Thailand Expat AntRobertson's Avatar
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    ^



    ?

  8. #8
    Roc
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  9. #9
    Thailand Expat Texpat's Avatar
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    I have a small piece of shrimp shell stuck between two molars. It got lodged there this afternoon when my lovely and talented wife made shrimp for lunch.

    I could have easily removed it with a toothpick, but have been amused for the better part of 3 hours trying to dislodge it with my tongue. It's been a great source of entertainment, but if I can't get it out before dinner, I'll brush my teeth and remove it.

    I haven't told this secret to anyone -- honest.

  10. #10
    Thailand Expat
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    ^ Nice one texpat...

    I once hollowed out a cucumber, warmed it up, stuck some moisturiser in it then used it as a wanking aid....

    Actually... that one doesn't count, because I have told lots of people about that before...

    Let me think... I'll come up with something else...

  11. #11
    Rhubarb, rhubarb, rhubarb
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    ^
    Tell 'em about the warmed raw liver......

  12. #12
    Thailand Expat
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    ^ Never tried that one... In a jam jar mixed with sand?.. I heard that was quite nice....

  13. #13
    Thailand Expat

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    ^ I feel bad for you being able to fit your knob in a cucumber. They are quite small. I take it you don't have much girth then?

  14. #14
    Thailand Expat
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    Thats nothing, I get my jollies by shagging stuffed olives, I poke out the little bit of pimento stuffing, then its all mine.

  15. #15
    Thailand Expat
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    ^^ No girth whatsoever... It resembles a pencil in its excited state...

    I suppose you need a marrow do you?...

  16. #16
    watterinja
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    ^ Prefer watermelons, myself...

  17. #17
    The cold, wet one
    November Rain's Avatar
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    I'm not an animal loving, female, rock music afficianado. I also don't live in Thailand. In fact I've never been there & I'm not really sure where it is, but my next-door neighbour said it was near Africa, so that's fine by me.

    I'm a 16 stone trucker called Dave who lives in the West Midlands and runs over hedgehogs for fun. And my hero is Englebert Humperdink.

  18. #18
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    A friend calls me Mule. A barman once asked me why he always calls me Mule. I think he might have told someone else about it.

  19. #19
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    I am Englebert Humperdink but don't tell no one cos iv'e got a 16 stone trucker from the west midlands stalking me!

  20. #20
    I am in Jail

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    i have a scab on my dick from having drag on the ground.

  21. #21
    I am in Jail
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    I have never had sex with my wife

  22. #22
    Hifaluten Member
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    Burnt part of the local church down when I was 14. Was smoking a joint out behind it and my old man drove past. Nearly shat myself and threw the spliff in a big garbage bin which caught on fire and spread onto part of the building.

  23. #23
    How Dare You!!
    Looper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mrsquirrel
    ^ I feel bad for you being able to fit your knob in a cucumber.
    Could wrap gaffer tape round it to stop it bursting - like you do with hamsters?

  24. #24
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    I am addicted to the computer. Can leave it alone. It was the same when I discovered wanking. Thought since nobody at school spoke about it, I must have invented something new.

  25. #25
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    I have sex with Tristram's wife

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