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  1. #1
    Thailand Expat
    peterpan's Avatar
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    Funny thing happened on the way to theatre

    Took my girls into Udon to buy a couple more Barbie dolls I had promised them, We got the biggest collection of Barbies in Thailand, pity they don't do a porno Barbie and Ken set, then I could play with them.

    Anyway, made the purchases, heading towards the car and ominous gut gurgling sounds. Think, should I return and have a dump?
    No, I will grit my teeth and tough it out till I get home, of couse then every in Udon dumbfvck who can only find first gear parks their car in the fast lane all the way home.
    So there I am driving like DTW (world production car champ and best friend of that genial man from the country of Scootland)
    Then up ahead a collection of Plods, seeimg my racing Vigo swerving from lane to lane, step out waving his clip board.
    No fvckin way am I gonna stop, I spent 2 days last week removing the car upholstery to wash it and I know within 5 mins its gonna be shit coloured, so I swerve around him and make my escape home.
    Even then while frantically unlocking the front door, woops.
    Should I post a photo?

  2. #2
    RIP
    blackgang's Avatar
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    Why Not??

    is it a cool skid mark or just a big shitty splat??

  3. #3
    ding ding ding
    Spin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by peterpan
    Funny thing happened on the way to theatre
    Perhaps thats another story?

    "I shat me sen again" seems more fitting for this one?

  4. #4
    disturbance in the Turnip baldrick's Avatar
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    time for a colostomy bag ?

  5. #5
    I am in Jail
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    I did it a couple of times when i was driving my taxi, id just tell the next people that a baby had an accident in its nappy and they were ok. after a few ride's i had to go home and clean up because it was getting squweltchy

  6. #6
    better looking than Ned
    Rigger's Avatar
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    you could start wearing nappys when you go out

  7. #7
    Mea-Culpa
    Dalton's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rigger
    you could start wearing nappys when you go out
    Yeah, I think so to, my mother use them as well, it's normal PP, comes with age....

  8. #8
    Thailand Expat

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    So you are telling everybody that you are incontinent.

    We know you are 60 now PP and probably smell slightly of wee. No need to explain yourself, we are quite an understanding bunch and know that the aged often evacuate themselves or dribble piss down their legs.

    Nothing that a few magic trees hanging about the forum can't sort out.


  9. #9
    Thailand Expat
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dalton
    it's normal PP, comes with age....
    Among other things:

    It may be possible for repetitive anal sex to lead to weakening of the anal sphincter, which is the muscle that tightens after we defecate. Once weakened, feces can escape the anus against our will.

    noprideEN - What are the Dangers of Anal Sex?

  10. #10
    Thailand Expat
    peterpan's Avatar
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    Done many things, a bit of debaunchery here and there, but never been corn holed and not really wanting to either.

  11. #11
    Thailand Expat
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    Quote Originally Posted by mrsquirrel View Post
    So you are telling everybody that you are incontinent.
    Fvck off Squizzy, not 60 yet.

  12. #12
    Thailand Expat
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rigger View Post
    you could start wearing nappys when you go out
    Yea, went in today and asked for pampers, the girl looked at my 3 y old and said she's a bit old for them.

    Not for her, for me!

  13. #13
    disturbance in the Turnip baldrick's Avatar
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    ^ have you started to plan your travel routes with the cleanest toilets in mind yet ? or are you going to install a potty as a seat on the motocy ?

    and the new leathers with the zip in the back might attract you some attention from the village people brigade.

  14. #14
    Thailand Expat
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    I think the xmas turkey i had for breakfast was a bit old

  15. #15
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    Deus Ex's Avatar
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    Have you seen the new Divorced Barbie?

    It comes with all Ken's stuff.

  16. #16
    Days Work Done! Norton's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by peterpan
    Even then while frantically unlocking the front door, woops.
    Please tell me this is not a chronic uncontrollable problem.

  17. #17
    Thailand Expat
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    Told ya Norts, it was the oldish turkey jing jing

  18. #18
    Northern Hermit
    friscofrankie's Avatar
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    First it's the (old) turkey, then it's the dirty noodles, then it's "the pablum has gone off..."

  19. #19
    Special member
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    Quote Originally Posted by mrsquirrel
    We know you are 60 now PP and probably smell slightly of wee

  20. #20
    I am in Jail

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    You'll be alright PeterP. I usually throw up first when I've had something iffy. The D session comes later.

    Quote Originally Posted by Deus Ex View Post
    Have you seen the new Divorced Barbie?

    It comes with all Ken's stuff.
    I knew that was coming...

    If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
    Last edited by Jet Gorgon; 30-12-2007 at 06:52 AM.

  21. #21
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    shoudda gone back the first time!

  22. #22
    I am in Jail

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    Yep. I ain't so old, but I never pass a toilet without a visit. Especially on visa runs.

  23. #23
    Thailand Expat Texpat's Avatar
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    Thought you was a playah PP?

    It will take some silver-tongued manuvering to explain away a shitty diaper to the bargirl who's seen it all. Good luck. Let us know how that works out.

    Alternatively you could take up German lessons and call it a fetish.

  24. #24
    Thailand Expat
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    Tex, i'm just an old tosser who still 'likes to think he's still capable of playing'.
    In reality, I can't stay up past my normal bedtime of 10pm.
    Its all just dreamin, mate.

  25. #25
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    Teakdoor, where reality hits the fan

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