Thai Politics

[Thormaturge]

In this thread I attempt to make sense of the curent elections. Some names and numbers have been changed to protect the guilty, corrupt and downright dishonest.

Party No1

"Politicians Pay People" abbreviated to PPP

Secretly headed by a wealthy overseas businessman, Sintax Watashinrat. This party intends to eradicate corruption in all other other parties by winning the election and making them obsolete.


Party Number 2

The Democrat party

Headed by someone who nobody listens to. This is the traditional Opposition party which brought down the hugely unpopular Thai Rak Thai party. It is responsible, along with The Nation newspaper, for the current political mess so many people won't vote for them again.


Party number 3

The National Socialist Party

Headed by some bloke with a small moustache. Is offering a final solution to the Moslem problem.


Party Number 4


The Beverly Hillbillies.

Distant relatives of the Beverly sisters, these guys hail from deepest Isan Their policy is to give two cows to everyone in Thailand. The 120,million cows will be purchased from the UK where cows are going cheap at present. Plan B is to open a yellow tee-shirt factory in Korat and use the profits to open more yellow tee shirt factories. 10% of profits wil be donated to a fund for preserving the King's good health.


Party Number 5

The mixed-blood party.

Headed by Vinent Towrai

Identified by their yellow tee-shirts sporting red hearts, this party is a curious mixture of blood donors and vampires, if you believe in that sort of thing. Offering ThB 100 to everyone who donates blood if they win the election.


Party Number 6

The Monkees

Lead by Hanuman who is just as eligible to run as the leader of party number 1 Still thinking of a few good policies.


Party Number 7

The obviously gay party. Sporting pink tee-shirts and with candidates you could take home to meet mum.



Party Number 8

Ordnance Survey, Thailand.

Leader

Sintax Watashinrat.

erm nobody said you can only have one political party. Anyone from TRT who didn't joint the PPP has joined this party. It will join the PPP in a coalition after the election if PPP don't get enought votes. The coalition will be known as the Thai Rak Thai coalition.

Partiy Number 9

International Rescue.

Virgil heads the team from Thunderbirds who all look splendid in their uniforms. They plan to rescue anyone in the world who accidentally orders Thai food without specifying "mai pet".

Parties 10 through 33

A weird bunch of academics and military folk. Lord knows why they are standing.

Party number 34

Simgle lady with 34a breast size, aged 34 and with an IQ of 34. Thai women everywhere aspire to this dizzy height.

[Texpat]

You got the flyer in the mail too?

Some dodgy lookin' folks round here.

In the local Nong Khai flyer, my wife explained, many never finished high school.

[Ban Saray]

^new constitution says you no longer need a degree to run for office.

[Texpat]

Umm, never finished high school.

[keda]

^new constitution says you no longer need a brain to run for office.

I agree...

[Marmite the Dog]

Thais don't actually understand democracy (a bit like the US I suppose) so I'm really struggling to work out why they're even bothering with elections. Maybe to gain face in the international community?

[watterinja]

It's all pretty meaningless, really.

If & when the army don't like the way things turn out, they'll just launch another coup. This place will never understand democracy in our lifetimes - I'll wager - a certain level of intrinsic intelligence & maturity is required.

[slimboyfat]

Actually I am against democracy now. In most countries the electorate are complete morons.

[Thormaturge]

I think Belgium is a shining example of democracy, being at the heart of Europe as it is.

Anyway I now understand the Beverly Hillbillies plan to promote their OTOP scheme (One Teeshirt One Person) whilst the National Socialists intend to resurrect the swastika as their buddhist symbol.

A few new parties have emerged.

The Chang Party, which will begin celebrating the victory of whichever party wins on 24th December and won't stop until the brewery runs dry.

Then there's the Buddhist anti-materialism Party which requires you to donate all of your possessions and money to it in ordert to make merit. You know it makes sense.

Then there's the Father Christmas Party which will give presents to everyone who voted for them on 24th December. They will be making a list on 23rd with the help of the Election Committee and the Kremlin.

Feel free to suggest new parties at will.

[Norton]

Distant relatives of the Beverly sisters, these guys hail from deepest Isan Their policy is to give two cows to everyone in Thailand. The 120,million cows will be purchased from the UK where cows are going cheap at present.

Typical of politicians worldwide. All suffer from "mad vows disease".

[beenaroundawhile01]

We can vote or have an imput to the politics here, so, who gives a rats arse what they do. We dont like it, we go home or eles where. simple

[beenaroundawhile01]

sorry can't

[watterinja]

I remember getting myself all worked up over the anti-Thickskin rallies a year, or so ago.

I thought the coup was a good way to bring in change.

Now - I couldn't give a flying hoot - it is all a very bad soap opera & not even worth following in the local press - not that I even bother to read the local press nowadays.

[Thormaturge]

Best comedy show on the planet.

All the election will achieve is to restore power to Thaksin Shinawatra and his followers. The coup will not have achieved anything, except to make the current leadership look dumb.

If anything this farce does underline the power of the ballot box. Thaksin remains at liberty, has not been found guilty of anything and thus retains his mandate to govern this country, as I am sure he will display on 23rd. The current regime has failed dismally to prove he is corrupt and in so failing has made the legal system in Thailand look inept.

The Thai people deserve Thaksin so let them have him.

[Norton]

The Thai people deserve Thaksin so let them have him.

Leadership by the least inept?

[watterinja]

^ A truly typical Thai trait...

[Thormaturge]

What would be truly fitting is for PPP to win the election, then drop all charges against Thaksin who then returns, and arrest the present government for staging an illegal coup (can there be a legal one?)

That would crack me up.

[Dalton]

What would be truly fitting is for PPP to win the election, then drop all charges against Thaksin who then returns, and arrest the present government for staging an illegal coup (can there be a legal one?) That would crack me up.

If that happens, there will be another coup..Methinks

[Dalton]

Thais don't actually understand democracy (a bit like the US I suppose) so I'm really struggling to work out why they're even bothering with elections. Maybe to gain face in the international community?

That would be the logical answer, and they actually believe it..

[Thormaturge]

If that happens, there will be another coup..Methinks

Followed by another election with Thaksin's supporters emerging victorious only to arrest the coup leaders.

Groundhog Day

fun innit?

[Bruce]

You forgot the VIP (Virgin Initiation Party). Aren't they the mob running the 'Viagra for Votes' program?

You gotta feel sorry for the young people of this country - what chance have they got?

Actually, I think they should look to Zimbawbee as a shining example of democracy in action.

[Thormaturge]

It gets even more pathetic.

I had noticed the party numbers had changed this time and there is a reason. Dumb though this may seem.

With the relatively high illiteracy rate here many people only know the party they support by their constituency number. Vote 2 and you elect a Democrat.

Well The Democrats now have the old TRT numbers and TRT are buried in obscurity.

Should ensure the Democrats gain a lot of the support intended for the PPP.

It just gets sadder.

[Rattanaburi]

This country is hopeless.

[Thormaturge]

Nothing wrong with the country, it's the people....