Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 33
  1. #1
    My kind of town
    chitown's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Last Online
    @
    Posts
    12,520

    Have You Ever Grown Up?

    Recently I was having a discussion with a friend about Expats in SE Asia. It is his position that those of us that have chosen to live here and take young Thai ladies as brides /girlfriends have never grown up. Although we may be very sucessful in our careers or businesses, he thinks that we have a junior high mentality. That somehow we never matured past our adolescent years. His thought is that we relate to women younger than us because of our stunted maturity. That we all just party like we are high school kids rather than grow up. It is easier for us to live here, rather than face reality.

    I was thinking about what he said and wanted to get some input from my friends here at TD.

    Do you think you never grew up and depending on your answer why or why not?

  2. #2
    I don't know barbaro's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    on pacific ocean, south america
    Posts
    21,406
    Quote Originally Posted by chitown View Post
    Recently I was having a discussion with a friend about Expats in SE Asia. It is his position that those of us that have chosen to live here and take young Thai ladies as brides /girlfriends have never grown up. Although we may be very sucessful in our careers or businesses, he thinks that we have a junior high mentality. That somehow we never matured past our adolescent years.
    A few, and only a few people I've come across, I'd put into this category. But I also think (from being with these folks) that these fellas missed out on some fun in the West, or were disillusioned with their situation as a whole. And SEA became a play ground for them.

    His thought is that we relate to women younger than us because of our stunted maturity.
    For some, I think so. Also, for other, they may not be very bright, and can relate to someone younger, with little or no education, cannot speak the English language well, nor discuss many things. (This is what the guy's friends in SEA are for.) And often, this guy, doesn't speak his lady's foreign language either.


    Do you think you never grew up and depending on your answer why or why not?
    I don't like the term "grow up."

    That is a culturally biased term.

    What is the definition of growing up?

    Going into massive debt? Taking sound-bite 2-week vacations.

    Never having time to do things you enjoy?

    Working, working, and working, until you are physically too old to do what you want?

    Growing up is a state of mind - not how or where you live in this world.
    ............

  3. #3
    Have you got any cheese Thetyim's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    Mousehole
    Posts
    20,902
    I think you are concentrating to much on the sex aspect.

    Why work all your life in the cold miserable UK rain when you have a better life style living in LOS and not working.
    Sex was what brought me to Thailand originally but that was not why I retired here.

  4. #4
    I am in Jail
    Mr Earl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Last Online
    19-03-2019 @ 07:37 AM
    Location
    In the Jungle of Love
    Posts
    14,778
    I wonder what Peterpan has to say about this?

  5. #5
    Thailand Expat Texpat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    In your head
    Posts
    13,014
    I enjoy the same quality of life here (maybe better) than I did in the States. Sure, we have to suffer some retarded people and policies here, but at the end of the day, you can still laugh about it.

    The only difference is that my wife and I both worked there, neither works here. Maybe I'm not grown up by coming here, but I would think myself stupid for staying there.

  6. #6
    Member

    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Last Online
    06-05-2017 @ 07:08 PM
    Posts
    435
    Making the decision to better your life, what ever you do or where ever you go, could in actual fact, be a sure sign of growing up

  7. #7
    Member
    kayo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Last Online
    14-06-2016 @ 06:06 PM
    Location
    England (ex-LOS)
    Posts
    465
    I agree with Thetyim's comments ^

    That we all just party like we are high school kids rather than grow up. It is easier for us to live here, rather than face reality.
    Rather than face reality?

    Does your friend acknowledge that most expats buy houses, raise families, cook, clean and fend for themselves.
    Employ locals, pay duties/taxes and do the whole myriad "grown-up" things our society(ies) impose upon us?

    What is not real about the life you wake up to every day?

    The fact that it is/can be a far better quality of life than back home.
    The fact that your nourishment is generally of far higher standard, fresher, healthier than back home?

    I came back to the UK earlier this year, after 10 years abroad.

    Went out the other night, and the whole stinkin' town
    was reeking of chips, deep fat frying oil, and kebabs. Now I enjoy this as much as the next man, but frankly it's all processed meats/frozen bread/frozen processed chips.., give me a pad thai, or a 15 baht rice soup or any food of any stall in the street, any day, any time.
    You can barely even find fresh food, at least not that taste anymore.

    And booze is ridiculously expensive. How on earth did a glass of hops and water get to be 3.00?

    I could go on and on (council tax, car expenses, freedom?! ...)

    So, yeah... What's real about living back in the UK, I say?

  8. #8
    Member
    hirondelle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Last Online
    24-10-2011 @ 09:53 AM
    Posts
    477
    Interestingly I think one of the most grown up things I can think of is to make the decision to live the way you please regardless of what other people think or say. In which case the guys in this scenario are cool. It took me a long time to understand that, and I still struggle with it in my own life - but I am learning... growing up I suppose.

  9. #9
    The Pikey Hunter
    Gerbil's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    Roasting a Hedgehog
    Posts
    12,356
    grow up? No not for me.

  10. #10
    watterinja
    Guest
    If 'growing up' implies some sort of cultural & behavioural stereotype - then, I'm afraid 'un-grown up' it'll have to be...

    The concept of 'maturity' is, however, a very different animal to being 'grown up'...

  11. #11
    RIP
    Happyman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Last Online
    31-01-2011 @ 09:29 PM
    Location
    Rawai Phuket
    Posts
    6,010
    No! and don't intend starting now - I'm much too old

  12. #12
    If It's Hot, It's Here
    sharon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Last Online
    15-06-2011 @ 05:39 PM
    Location
    Orange
    Posts
    1,452
    Quote Originally Posted by hirondelle
    I am learning... growing up I suppose.
    Me too, I have learned a lot lately. At least I know how to "let it be" and "let it go". Life is not easy but I'm learning and yes, I'm growing up too.

  13. #13
    I am in Jail

    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Last Online
    22-11-2011 @ 08:27 AM
    Location
    Christian Country
    Posts
    15,020
    Different mindsets all round, I think. Never happier than when I lived in a one-room hillside hut with a huge balcony and panoramic sunset view of the Gulf and islands.
    I think many Western folks like to collect things. Get a home, furniture, lots of doodads and dust collectors. Keep up with the Jones' and complain alot. I've seen some old fogies here with mail-order-type brides. Brother, they really stick out like sore thumbs, poor gits.

  14. #14
    Knows fok all
    daveboy's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    Kent
    Posts
    5,223
    I stopped at 17

  15. #15
    Thailand Expat

    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Last Online
    08-12-2011 @ 06:20 PM
    Location
    West Coast Canada
    Posts
    2,908
    As Dylan said: "May you be forever young" and as George Bernard Shaw said: "Youth is wasted on the young."

    So if you get the chance later in life to live as you want and have fun in the process, more power to you

  16. #16
    Cacoethes scribendi
    Loombucket's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Last Online
    15-06-2015 @ 08:51 AM
    Location
    Lanchester and Nong Bua Deng
    Posts
    3,310
    Growing up is something that your Mother always tells you to do. To me it is like telling me to have sensible hair, to wear clothes without holes in, even if I am in the garden. To listen to music quietly. Not to get drunk and be loud in a public place. Not to join in with childrens games. To keep the house tidy and be responsible. Why on earth should I want to grow up???

  17. #17
    Thailand Expat

    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    In a rather cold and dark place
    Posts
    12,823
    I think MTD just grows out the way now.

  18. #18
    Mea-Culpa
    Dalton's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Last Online
    31-10-2018 @ 03:57 AM
    Location
    In the sticks.
    Posts
    7,389
    Work got me here in the first place, and nothing have changed about that..Sex have nothing to do with it..

  19. #19
    Thailand Expat
    peterpan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    Pleasantville
    Posts
    10,110
    I thought I had grown up for my midlife period, responsible corporate citizen I was, Armani suits, tailored shirts, 4 door exective sedan, Commodore of the local yacht club, as superficial as the best of them. After 30 years of this I looked around at my freinds, fvck me we had all become boring clones of one another.
    Around that time I took a few days off work to go sailing by myslf and ended running into a guy in with a similar yacht to mine so rowed over to chat with him, talking a couple of bottles of red under my arm.
    He was an interesting sort of Wild haired character. Essentaiily built the yacht himself and just spent his time sailing around the south pacific waters with nothing but a couple of local honeys for company. I thought, well shag me silly, he am I working my arse off with an expensive boat and very little time to sail it. So I tossed it all in, wife house the whole shooting box, ditched the lot.
    I had a Thai GF who I had previously met in Malaysia and we just went sailing for a couple of years.



    Got bored with all that and her ^ so sold up and moved over here, not just for the girls but the whole thing seemed to be the intune with what I wanted which the opposite of my previous life.
    Now I feel really grown up.

  20. #20
    Thailand Expat nedwalk's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Last Online
    06-07-2016 @ 05:28 PM
    Location
    sunshine coast
    Posts
    7,710
    i still don, t know what i wanna be when i grow up!!

  21. #21
    Thailand Expat
    madjbs's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Last Online
    15-07-2015 @ 01:49 AM
    Location
    Bangkok
    Posts
    1,529

  22. #22
    En route
    Cujo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Last Online
    Yesterday @ 10:05 PM
    Location
    Reality.
    Posts
    28,633
    Quote Originally Posted by peterpan View Post
    I thought I had grown up for my midlife period, responsible corporate citizen I was, Armani suits, tailored shirts, 4 door exective sedan, Commodore of the local yacht club, as superficial as the best of them. After 30 years of this I looked around at my freinds, fvck me we had all become boring clones of one another.
    Around that time I took a few days off work to go sailing by myslf and ended running into a guy in with a similar yacht to mine so rowed over to chat with him, talking a couple of bottles of red under my arm.
    He was an interesting sort of Wild haired character. Essentaiily built the yacht himself and just spent his time sailing around the south pacific waters with nothing but a couple of local honeys for company. I thought, well shag me silly, he am I working my arse off with an expensive boat and very little time to sail it. So I tossed it all in, wife house the whole shooting box, ditched the lot.
    I had a Thai GF who I had previously met in Malaysia and we just went sailing for a couple of years.



    Got bored with all that and her ^ so sold up and moved over here, not just for the girls but the whole thing seemed to be the intune with what I wanted which the opposite of my previous life.
    Now I feel really grown up.
    Well done all round then I'd say.

  23. #23
    Thailand Expat
    sabang's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Last Online
    04-09-2019 @ 05:06 AM
    Location
    BackinOz
    Posts
    30,807
    I don't think the issue is one of growing up, it is one of self indulgence.

    You can be more self indulgent here than your own society, your dollar goes further, the rules are relaxed, and you're away from your home town peeers. You set your own limits- at least if you want to survive.

    To some people, being self indulgent is like being childish but I don't see why. Maybe they are jealous!
    probes Aliens

  24. #24
    punk douche bag
    ChiangMai noon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    o dan y bryn
    Posts
    29,256
    Quote Originally Posted by hirondelle
    Interestingly I think one of the most grown up things I can think of is to make the decision to live the way you please regardless of what other people think or say. In which case the guys in this scenario are cool. It took me a long time to understand that, and I still struggle with it in my own life - but I am learning... growing up I suppose.
    bloody hell hirondelle is back...


    ...snuggles and all that.

  25. #25
    たのむよ。
    The Gentleman Scamp's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Last Online
    03-01-2017 @ 04:09 PM
    Location
    もうがまんできない!
    Posts
    9,754
    It is easier for us to live here, rather than face reality.
    Thailand/Asia is far more real than the western society that created the notion that to emancipate yourself from 9-5 'normality' and all the things that we are told we should be by a certain age, is childish.

    'Growing up' is simply a matter of opinion - the phrase is meaningless and irrelevant when you think about it deeply.
    "I'm an outsider by choice, but not truly. It's the unpleasantness of the system that keeps me out. I'd rather be in, in a good system. That's where my discontent comes from: being forced to choose to stay outside.
    My advice: Just keep movin' straight ahead. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place."

    George Carlin

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •