Thread: Could you go back to wiping your arse with tissue paper?

Look matey's,

The fokin bum gun is king OK.

I mean its just the ducks nuts mate and using paper is just like eating a shit sandwich.

Now I don't mind the occasional shit sandwich but I give them away as I'm allergic to bread.

Anyway we digress,

The old bum guns has given me a ring hole as clean as new born baby's arse and Im in fokin awe of them.

That much so that I've bought one back to Aussie and bunged her in my dunny .

I friggin love it matey's so keep on spraying your ring gear with the friggin fire hose.

Hope this helps.

cheers.

PS. Im foked if I know how that punter gets poo poo over his fingers. ?

He got the fokin hose connected to a " V8 " friggin motor maybe.

I use my shower head since it's close to the loo.

Feck that!

I had to spend 3 months in Australia and use paper. Me arse resembled a bloody strawberry patch! OUCH!

All Bum Gun users are just Tight Arses .

neither the Montien Hotel or Hard Rock Hotel in Pattaya have rooms equipped with bum guns. Well maybe you get them in the suites.

^I guess that in 5 years time Thailand will become so modernised that the bum gun disappears from the loo's

Great for cleaning skid marks from the pan .

Originally Posted by Sparky

Great for cleaning skid marks from the pan .

I thought that was what urine was for

Originally Posted by lom

^I guess that in 5 years time Thailand will become so modernised that the bum gun disappears from the loo's

The horror!!

(I think you're wrong tho)

Originally Posted by Frankenstein

Originally Posted by lom

^I guess that in 5 years time Thailand will become so modernised that the bum gun disappears from the loo's

The horror!!

(I think you're wrong tho)

I suppose they will want us to stop standing on the toilet seats when we shite too?

Originally Posted by slimboyfat

Originally Posted by Sparky

Great for cleaning skid marks from the pan .

I thought that was what urine was for

That works too but not enough pressure for real sticky clingons !

Originally Posted by Sparky

Originally Posted by slimboyfat

Originally Posted by Sparky

Great for cleaning skid marks from the pan .

I thought that was what urine was for

That works too but not enough pressure for real sticky clingons !

What, you piss on your own arse?

The bum gun is undisputedly king and way ahead of pure toilet paper in the anal hygiene department.

However, for gentlemen of a certain disposition there comes a small risk which needs elaborating ...

One must first realise that faecal material contains many types of bacteria which normally exist peacefully within our alimentary tract ... infact you will find millions of these farkers in any lump of poo !

For those of you that have mild to severe haemorrhoids the constant passage of shite can deposit these bacteria upon the surface of the swollen grapes.

One only has to put a middle finger into the mix in a bid to relieve the itchy sensation these throbbing bulbs can emit and the skin in this area (your body's first line of protection) can be breached.

It doesnt take long for ones arsenuts to become infected which only increases the itchiness and hence a vicious cycle is set in motion.

Now every time the bum gun is put to use the force of the water will not only clean and relieve the rim but also splash active infectious bacteria upon the back of the scrotal sac and also onto the head of the knob hanging innocently in front of the balls.

The sac is protected by a thick epidermal layer and hence very difficult to infect, however the head of the knob has a much thinner layer of skin for protection.

If this skin has recently been rubbed in vigorous sexual activity of any kind then it is not uncommon to find breaches characterised by redness and tenderness ...

Bingo ! The perfect place for a grand entrance for our newly found friends, the faecal bacteria, that are being splashed and showered upon the vulnerable member on a daily basis by the bum gun.

It doesn't take long for an infection of the glans to set in and now one problem becomes two !

The remedy ? Simple .. after the bowels have been emptied lift your knob to rest upon the toilet seat (preferably not on the seat itself but upon a small cushion of toilet paper on the seat) whilst you blast away happily at the sphincter.

All forward splashes will be blocked by the sac and the head of your love missile stays dry and bug free.

To complete this delicate operation folded toilet paper must be used to pat down your hanging gonads as well as your bum hole which keeps the underwear dry and the more importantly the bellend devoid of nasty little microbes.

So there you go ... no system is flawless but with careful management those at risk can certainly limit the damage !

Originally Posted by walrus

Now every time the bum gun is put to use the force of the water will not only clean and relieve the rim but also splash active infectious bacteria upon the back of the scrotal sac and also onto the head of the knob hanging innocently in front of the balls.

Not if you squirt from front to back making sure you push the kidney wiper to one side. To squirt as Walrus says one must be off the bog.

Jeez,

That walrus is one very smart fella when it comes to bum gun technique.

He must of went to university to be that drummed up on such a complex subject.

I am a front shooter, but I gather the rear spray is more common?

I sort of like to squirt the water cannon into the side of my clacker and its a very nice sensation on my very delicate bot bot.