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  1. #1
    I am in Jail
    Smeg's Avatar
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    Dipshit Thai of the week award - nominations here

    I was going to nominate the person in my local Villa store who stuck new expiry date labels over the old labels on bags of manky kiwi fruit, or the assistant I pointed it out to who decided that the best course of action was to laugh and then walk away.

    I then decided to nominate my taxi driver yesterday who fell asleep at the wheel at red lights and took repeated shouts, prods in the arm, and angry horns from cars behind to wake him up.

    In the end, I have decided to nominate three "tourist survey" girls at Sukhumvit. I was walking along there at lunchtime today heading for lunch proudly wearing my yellow shirt (yeah yeah, but it was free and it's better than wearing a shirt and tie to work), my work ID on a band around my neck, and carrying my laptop, with two Thai girls who work in a nearby office. Regardless of that, two of the survey girls spotted my farang face and waved their tourist survey clipboards in my face. Just for fun I stopped and obliged with the questions but the "four years" answer got a puzzled look.
    Then one of the girls said "can you help me?" I asked her why she needed a foreigner to help her as she was a Thai in Thailand. She ignored that question and asked me to visit a hotel which would earn her 1000 Baht. I said "fine, I'll help you if you help me, so share then money and give me 500 Baht and I'll go" She screamed "NO, NAGRIAT!" at me. I asked her if she wasn't interested in earning the 500 Baht. I got the wall of silence from all three girls, so went to have lunch.

  2. #2
    I am in Jail
    Lily's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smeg
    I was going to nominate the person in my local Villa store who stuck new expiry date labels over the old labels on bags of manky kiwi fruit, or the assistant I pointed it out to who decided that the best course of action was to laugh and then walk away.
    I'll pass that on to an American woman I know who is a food consultant for Villa. She regularly samples their food and tells them if the olive oil has gone off or the food is not being kept in optimal conditions.

    Also, why do you need a use by date on fruit? It is quite obvious when it is no longer edible.

  3. #3
    Thailand Expat
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    many examples, cannae think of any just yet.

  4. #4
    punk douche bag
    ChiangMai noon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kingwilly
    many examples, cannae think of any just yet
    been in Thailand this week Willy?

  5. #5
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    ^ oops, make that Indo, they really are same same you know!

    and if i had been would've made sure that i avoided letting u know anyway!

    actually the parrots are playing cricket in chiang mai in 2 weeks time, cant make it tho will be in Aus!
    Last edited by kingwilly; 03-12-2007 at 05:03 PM.

  6. #6
    Tax Consultant
    Thormaturge's Avatar
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    So I am walking towards a taxi rank but there is a pickup blocking the exit, so I figure I'll grab a taxi as it is approaching the taxi rank so that he can just keep on driving and avoid the chaos.

    I get in and tell him where I want to go.

    Driver smiles. THEN ENTERS THE BLOODY TAXI RANK. and sits behind all the other taxis.

  7. #7
    Mea-Culpa
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    ^ With the meter running..???

  8. #8
    Thailand Expat
    William's Avatar
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    enjoy your bank holiday guys!

    On second thoughts, Smeg is so right...


    ... threads like this are so childish.

  9. #9
    Whopping Member
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    Pulled up on my motorbike outside a restaurant. Locked it and got off. Hung the helmet on the wing mirror. Tuk-tuk driver sitting watching me says Tuk-tuk?

  10. #10
    The Pikey Hunter
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    If I'm bored, I always stop and give the tourist survey girls my contact details. Well, not actually *my* contact details, just those of whoever has pissed me off recently.

  11. #11
    punk douche bag
    ChiangMai noon's Avatar
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    ^^^
    Thanks William.
    I'm playing golf tomorrow.
    the only tee off time available was 7.30 a.m.

  12. #12
    punk douche bag
    ChiangMai noon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by benbaaa
    Pulled up on my motorbike outside a restaurant. Locked it and got off. Hung the helmet on the wing mirror. Tuk-tuk driver sitting watching me says Tuk-tuk?
    class.
    is it true?

  13. #13
    Whopping Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by ChiangMai noon
    class. is it true?
    Yep. Normally happens just as I've stepped out of a tuk-tuk and paid the driver, so that one was a variation on the theme.

  14. #14
    I am in Jail
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    Quote Originally Posted by benbaaa
    Pulled up on my motorbike outside a restaurant. Locked it and got off. Hung the helmet on the wing mirror. Tuk-tuk driver sitting watching me says Tuk-tuk?
    hehe, happened to me many times but with my car, my theory is that they have bad eye sight which would also explain their driving style,

  15. #15
    punk douche bag
    ChiangMai noon's Avatar
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    Never happened to me.

    you must have looked thicker.

  16. #16
    The Pikey Hunter
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    Quote Originally Posted by ChiangMai noon View Post
    Never happened to me.

    you must have looked thicker.
    I don't think that's possible.

    (braces for the red. )

  17. #17
    Thailand Expat
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lily View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Smeg
    I was going to nominate the person in my local Villa store who stuck new expiry date labels over the old labels on bags of manky kiwi fruit, or the assistant I pointed it out to who decided that the best course of action was to laugh and then walk away.
    I'll pass that on to an American woman I know who is a food consultant for Villa. She regularly samples their food and tells them if the olive oil has gone off or the food is not being kept in optimal conditions...
    There are always going to be exceptions with things slipping through quality control or somebody having a bad hair day, but my overall impressions of Villa Pattaya are very positive and so far unreservedly.

  18. #18
    Tonguin for a beer
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    My local Toyota dealer.

    Had my car serviced and asked - in Thai - that I wanted synthetic oil and had my wife confirm it. "Yes no problem". Get the bill and notice the oil is only 700B. Now, that aint the price of synthetic! But it took a full 10 minutes for them to tell me they didn't put synthetic in. then I ask why my car is parked outside obviously finished when I also asked for - in Thai - and got wife to confirm - that I wanted the wheel alignment checked. Blank stares and a hurried call to the workshop and off it goes back inside.



    They then tried the "we don't speak English" line when it was all asked for in Thai twice!
    Fahn Cahn's

  19. #19
    I am in Jail
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    The selection of the Dipshit Thai of the Week will be made every Friday evening by a Thai democracy styled review committee consisting of me with a gun. And my brothers.

  20. #20
    ding ding ding
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    Off I go this morning to the car wash place around the corner. That outfit was funded by farang money by some dickhead from England who was ditched as soon as the midget owners pockets were full. Said owner was not around so I explain to the scruffy knackernut that approached me that I want my dirtbike hosed off with normal water from the jet pressure wash.
    I point at the drying clothes and the detailing spray / trye gel and say "mai ow"...."cow jeye mai"......"cow jeye" was the answer.
    I go back in an hour and they have covered the fokin bike in tyre gel and some shit that will just attract more dirt to the bike next time I use it.
    I ask the guy if he has a problem with his hearing. His pal slumped in a chair offers me a drink from a glass of whisky and soda. Its 2pm.
    I hate to suffer fools gladly so I tend not to. If there was a way to enjoy my life here without having to interact with this these fokin dummies i would love to hear it.

  21. #21
    Rhubarb, rhubarb, rhubarb
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spin View Post
    If there was a way to enjoy my life here without having to interact with this these fokin dummies i would love to hear it.
    Spend a few months in India, or, Africa trying to get things done.
    Works for me.

  22. #22
    Thailand Expat Texpat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spin View Post
    If there was a way to enjoy my life here without having to interact with this these fokin dummies i would love to hear it.
    I made a statement like this on a thread a few months ago and suffered mightily for it -- in reds.

    But I still believe life is much better here when you don't have to deal with the slackjaw, glazed-eyed, buffoons that pass for clerks/workers/mechanics. My wife's Thai is miles better than mine, and she has years more experienced at not getting what she's asked for. She therefore is willing to put up with the same shit I am unwilling to swallow.

    Rant over, now for my nomination.

    I was in Tesco yesterday shopping for a few weeks (loaded cart). Just before I entered the checkout lane, I remembered we needed dog food. So I wheeled around the aisle and picked up two very big bags of dog food.

    As I pulled into the checkout lane, I grabbed the first bag of dog food to lay it on the belt. The young man working the cash register said, no, no no! He had a hand-held barcode reader and I didn't have to take the bag off the cart.

    I watched as he scanned the bag. I then reached for the other bag, so he could scan it too (knowing he couldn't scan the first one twice despite the bags being identical). Again, he said, no no no. He took great pride in being able to scan it without removing it from my cart.

    Then I stood there looking at him for almost 30 seconds as he decided how to scan the 100 products under the bags of dog food. It hit him like a freight train and you could watch the sheepish look come over his face.

    I grabbed both bags of dog food and set them on the conveyer where they were whisked to the end and waited for my checkout to be complete.

    Maybe he was new, but I doubt it.

  23. #23
    Thailand Expat
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    I think this will quickly be the longest thread in the forum.

  24. #24
    ding ding ding
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    Quote Originally Posted by Texpat
    I made a statement like this on a thread a few months ago and suffered mightily for it -- in reds.
    No sign of any for me but I'm sure there will be someone along to change that

    On the other hand, today I wanted a new insurance badge for my motorbike. I had seen an AIG office near my place so I stopped by. They were very professional and quick. No problems whatsoever. Theres good and bad everywhere.
    I guess what pisses of the most here is the attitude that some shops or services give you what they think you should be buying regardless of what it is you asked for. Thats the worst thing for me.

  25. #25
    Mea-Culpa
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog
    I think this will quickly be the longest thread in the forum.
    I wont start, that much is for sure, to damm depressing...

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