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  1. #1
    Thailand Expat

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    Things you should never do.

    Never check the time on your wrist watch with an open jar of coffee in your hand.

    Never believe someone will do something when they preface a statement with 'I promise I will......'.

    Never believe anything until it is actually something.

    There are many more but that is a start.

    Your turn.

  2. #2
    Thailand Expat

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    I got one more too.

    Never go into a chemist/pharmacy and ask for XXXL condoms from the shop assistant who is still at school and is only a part time shop assistant who dont understand the benefit of discretion. I am gonna kill you Wally.

  3. #3
    IV
    Wally Dorian Raffles's Avatar
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    :P

  4. #4
    IV
    Wally Dorian Raffles's Avatar
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    Never have a wank in front of your computer when the painters have scafolding set up outside your balcony and could climb up and look in anytime ops:

  5. #5
    Thailand Expat

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    Never listen to Leonard Cohen's 'So long Maryanne' when your feeling iffy.

  6. #6
    IV
    Wally Dorian Raffles's Avatar
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    Never look a tuk-tuk driver in the eye.

  7. #7
    Aspiring Guru
    poolcleaner's Avatar
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    Never promise to marry someone! *sigh*

    Never stop seeing other women *sigh*

    Never go with a katoey *hrrmmp*

    Never try and kill a 2 metre cobra with a 1 metre stick.

    Never give yourself a blow job with a hoover.

    Never stick a gerbil up a vagina or an anus.

    Never use a lighted candle as a dildo.

    Never call a rather well built afro american doorman a stupid fat [at][at][at][at] (even if it's true)

    Never sniff your mum's knickers.

    Never offer to give your mate a hand when he says he's too tired to masturbate.

    Never get an apartment that takes the afternoon sun.

    Never marry a girl who's got fat ankles.

    Never marry a girl who's mum is butt ugly.

    Never offer to take care of two drunk bar girls at closing time at soi Cowboy.

  8. #8
    IV
    Wally Dorian Raffles's Avatar
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    Never get really wasted then take a girls shoe off in a seedy Tokyo club and put her entire foot in your mouth when your work colleagues can see you.

  9. #9
    Aspiring Guru
    poolcleaner's Avatar
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    Damn I've always wanted to try that!

    Never have sex with your best mates mum, divided loyalties all round etc.

    Never offer to babysit.

    Never try and shoplift a refrigerator.

    Never put baht coins in your ears.

    Never pull a street elephant's tail when you're pissed outside Nana.

    Never stand on a wheely chair to change a light bulb.

    Never scratch a measles sore or a mosquito bite.

    Never kiss a girl after she's just blown you.

    Never atke a girl to a short time in soi rang nam when you're trashed and she's on the rags. *blush*

    Never do a bush pig.......................again................*dh oh*

  10. #10
    Thailand Expat

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    Never tell anyone that you have smoked three packets of ciggies in a day.

  11. #11
    Newbie
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    Never tell your girlfriend she's not at tight as her sister.... even if it's true!!

  12. #12
    Member
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    made me giggle, deserves a rerun on page 1 methinks.

    Things have changed around here a bit, but there was over 5000 posts since i last logged in.

    Hou you are all well where ever you are

  13. #13
    Being chased by sloths DJ Pat's Avatar
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    Never go out with Wally's mate "Rat"

  14. #14
    たのむよ。
    The Gentleman Scamp's Avatar
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    Shoplift.

  15. #15
    Bubbly Sales Girl
    Ice Maiden's Avatar
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    Never trust a man that has the whole player image.

    Never trust a man in a relationship fullstop.

    Never be gulliable and believe he loves you.

    Never send a man text messages such as "I love you" "I miss you".

    Never stay with a man that sends you those text messages.
    Welcome to the jungle!

  16. #16
    A bladdy woman
    Goddess of Whatever's Avatar
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    Never say "I promise.." if you know you will never keep it.

  17. #17
    Bubbly Sales Girl
    Ice Maiden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Goddess of Whatever
    Never say "I promise.." if you know you will never keep it.
    Now thats a good one GoW!

  18. #18
    Banned FozzieBear's Avatar
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    Never lend money that you can't afford not to be repaid !

    Theres an even chance you will never see it again!

    Oh and never drink beer out of your shoe!!!!! (Scampy)

  19. #19
    Thailand Expat
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    Never ever give your mobile number to a barlady

    Exept may be if it is the international one and you are ready to send some cash over

  20. #20
    Thailand Expat
    Whiteshiva's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ice Maiden
    Quote Originally Posted by Goddess of Whatever
    Never say "I promise.." if you know you will never keep it.
    Now thats a good one GoW!
    In fact, never say "I promise..." at all - it implies that you normally don't keep your word.....

  21. #21
    たのむよ。
    The Gentleman Scamp's Avatar
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    You should never get 'cooling' talc on your spagglepods.

  22. #22
    Not again! machangezi's Avatar
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    Never share a secret. Secret is best kept between two people when one's dead.

  23. #23
    RIP
    Propagator's Avatar
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    Never tell the truth when asked "Does my bum look big in this dress?"

  24. #24
    IV
    Wally Dorian Raffles's Avatar
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    Never share a bowl of peanuts with somebody who has just done a poo, and was forced to use the bucket...

  25. #25
    Banned FozzieBear's Avatar
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    Never remove your dentures on your first date... and move the glass by your bed to a more appropriate location

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