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  1. #26
    Thailand Expat

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    Quote Originally Posted by David48atTD View Post
    Dear Chitty,

    I am contemplating some home refurbishments.

    Namely, splitting a larger bedroom into 2 smaller rooms so that the siblings have some privacy.

    Should I save money and do it my self?

    What are the pitfalls of doing same and am I overreaching my building skills and incur the wrath of the local council
    if I go ahead with a self build?
    If I could pre-empt Aunty Chitty...all good as long as you use old clothes as sound insulation behind the gib and take a quick course in geometry so as to get the noggins and studs all in the right place and at the correct angles.

  2. #27
    fcuked off SKkin's Avatar
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    Dear Chitty

    Do you think a rectum stretcher could help some TD members with their current problems?

    TIA

  3. #28
    Banned

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    Now, now, there's a place for anal here, try lube.

  4. #29
    I'm in Jail

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    ^^ With the amount of shit spoken here, the accumulation of that and the discharge of methane could be seriously problematic.

  5. #30
    I'm not in jail...3-2-1. Jack meoff's Avatar
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    Dear Chitty,
    is this your sofa?

    Chittys free therapy sofa-chittys-sofa-jpg



    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Chittys free therapy sofa-chittys-sofa-jpg  

  6. #31
    กงเกวียนกำเกวียน HuangLao's Avatar
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    Greetings, Dr. Chitty...

    Where are your working offices located?

  7. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by HuangLao View Post
    Greetings, Dr. Chitty...

    Where are your working offices located?
    Dear HL,

    Mai Arse, behind the Emporium.


    Chitty

  8. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jack meoff View Post
    Dear Chitty,
    is this your sofa?

    Chittys free therapy sofa-chittys-sofa-jpg



    Dear JM,

    No, but I suggest you take a fvck off tablet three times per day for the rest of the EPL season.


    Chitty

  9. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by SKkin View Post
    Dear Chitty

    Do you think a rectum stretcher could help some TD members with their current problems?

    TIA
    Dear SK,

    No need for any more of that Mallarky, although a few wizards delete could do with sewing up.


    Chitty

  10. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by jabir View Post
    Dear Chitty,

    An earlier respondent posed a question about drinking piss, which reminded me of the time I walked into the kitchen and found my wife peeing into coffee that she was about to serve to uninvited guests. She said it turns her on. I tried it and there is much to be said for blessing unwary others with one's own bodily juices. Do you think we should keep things as are, or ratchet up a notch?

    Morgan, Derby
    Dear Morgan,

    If you both desire to move onto solids then may I recommend a PM to HL.
    He has a wealth of knowledge on the subject and is only to happy to share it.


    Chitty

  11. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by david44 View Post
    Dear Aunty Chitty

    thanks for the ointment, Lulu says the rash is clearing up and he'll take your valued advice and wear protection next time.

    Is drinking piss the way forward please asking for a friend
    Dear David,

    I'm afraid you have me confused with the STD doctor.
    I'm glad your dirty b'stard friends rash has cleared up, next time practice safe sex and use a bus shelter.


    Chitty

  12. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by jabir View Post
    Dear Chitty,

    I've fallen for this girl down the road, but I'm quite shy and don't know how to broach the subject. She is very sexy and chatty and sometimes flirty when we have the occasional passing words, but I heard she has a beefy and rather possessive boyfriend. Should I send her a picture of my penis?

    Thank you
    Dear J

    Nothing ventured nothing gained and don't forget tour post the photo thread from your hospital bed.

    Chitty

  13. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dillinger View Post



    Dear Chitty,

    I walked into Ikea, Bang Na on Saturday and a little Thai guy in a blue and yellow outfit asked me if I wanted decking.
    Luckily I got the first punch in, but others may not be so fortunate.
    How can I steer clear of confrontation from angry little men?
    Dear Dill


    Stop walking around in public wearing a rainbow tutu, that should work.

    Failing that buy a hammer from IKEA and stay at home hitting yourself on the head for a more effective headache.


    Chitty

  14. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by David48atTD View Post
    Dear Chitty,

    I am contemplating some home refurbishments.

    Namely, splitting a larger bedroom into 2 smaller rooms so that the siblings have some privacy.

    Should I save money and do it my self?

    What are the pitfalls of doing same and am I overreaching my building skills and incur the wrath of the local council
    if I go ahead with a self build?
    Dear David

    Go to Ikea and buy a hammer, then hit yourself on the head for a cheaper headache.


    Chitty

  15. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by Loy Toy View Post
    Has Jose Mourinho booked your sofa yet mate?
    Dear LT

    He's in denial along with his supporters that he is still the chosen one.
    Deluded fool needs a full frontal lobotomy.
    Btw haven't you got some pies to sell?

    Chitty


    Surgery closed for today.

  16. #41
    5 4 Knoll
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    Sniffed he's multibasking and copying your concerns in the Manchester Evening Pist under the monicker Aunty Anal-Isis

  17. #42
    fcuked off SKkin's Avatar
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    Red face

    Dear Chitty,

    Are you sorry you volunteered for such a thankless task?
    Last edited by SKkin; 05-09-2018 at 04:48 AM.

  18. #43
    R.I.P.
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    Dear Chitty,

    I killed the wrong man

    cant sleep well

  19. #44
    Being chased by sloths DJ Pat's Avatar
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    Dear Chitty

    My photoshop has reverted to the demo version

    Help!

  20. #45
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    Dear Chitty

    An urgent request on the wires from Onanistan

    "I think Oi lurv ye, should I stop drinkin' the piss "

    Bung no object, please give this vinegar stroke tip top urgency asking for an aristocratic friend unable to pist here.

    P.S . I think you're Gallic charm and upholstery skills gives you that French polish seldom found amongst trainee knob polishers, I take my beret off to you sir , Bravo, encore.

    Despite what they say your much funnier than that Sybille lass
    Quote Originally Posted by Latindancer View Post
    I just want the chance to use a bigger porridge bowl.

  21. #46
    Being chased by sloths DJ Pat's Avatar
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    Chittys free therapy sofa-analyze_this-jpg
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Chittys free therapy sofa-analyze_this-jpg   Chittys free therapy sofa-analyze_this-jpg  
    Last edited by DJ Pat; 05-09-2018 at 05:16 AM.

  22. #47
    กงเกวียนกำเกวียน HuangLao's Avatar
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    Dr. Chitty...
    I've three testicles.
    Is this a freakish attribute or not even give it a thought?

    Huang Lao Saam Phuang Sawan

  23. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by HuangLao View Post
    Dr. Chitty...
    I've three testicles.
    Is this a freakish attribute or not even give it a thought?

    Huang Lao Saam Phuang Sawan
    Dear HL,

    Just as i suspected, your third testicle is actually your head.

    The only cure is decapitation, i do not recommend this procedure.

    Learn to love your three balls.

    Chitty

  24. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by david44 View Post
    Dear Chitty

    An urgent request on the wires from Onanistan

    "I think Oi lurv ye, should I stop drinkin' the piss "

    Bung no object, please give this vinegar stroke tip top urgency asking for an aristocratic friend unable to pist here.

    P.S . I think you're Gallic charm and upholstery skills gives you that French polish seldom found amongst trainee knob polishers, I take my beret off to you sir , Bravo, encore.

    Despite what they say your much funnier than that Sybille lass
    Dear David,

    Whatever they say, there is only two courses of action for you.

    1/ Take a large laxative daily for one week in the hope that you will shit out that Thesauras.

    2/ Start the Urine therapy

    Chitty

  25. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Pat View Post
    Dear Chitty

    My photoshop has reverted to the demo version

    Help!
    Dear Pat,

    The only problem with your photoshopping skills is that we don't see enough of it.

    Chitty

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