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  1. #1
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    The nearby KTV in Naypyitaw

    In an effort to seek out a solution for the ever-increasing amount of rust on my genitalia, I ventured out last evening to investigate one of the large KTV karaokee establishments that is situated in the grounds of a nearby hotel.


    This KTV 'The Voice' has large advertising hoardings fronting the road, with pictures of happy Myanmar parents and their kids singing wholesome local songs. The building and its decoration was certainly impressive, with hundred of flashing lights and smart young staff bowing and lowering their heads as they walked past me, (a difficult task since I'm a dwarf).


    The 'concierge' approached me and luckily he spoke some English. He explained that most of his customers were either local Myanmar families or Chinese businessmen, and then explained the charges. (About 700 baht for one hour use of the room, 250 baht for lady drinks for 1 lady hostess, and 50 baht per each song played.)


    This was all useful detail for me, and I duly noted down this costs. However, the guy had forgotten to mention (what was for me), the most important detail.


    'Can I bang the hostess on the table?', I asked (or words to that effect).


    'Yes of course, just keep the door locked. Our hostesses are eager to please'.


    So there you have it. Having got these details, the next step is of course, to put them into action.


    I wasn't allowed to see the choice of ladies at that stage, and that could be problem if they are ugly as hell. However, the local super-market stocks black bin bags, so I'm hopeful of a ... er ... happy ending.
    Groping women when you're old is fine - everyone thinks you're senile

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by Simon43 View Post
    that could be problem if they are ugly as hell
    ...well, if the choice is ugly or rust...

  3. #3
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    Two drunken fools bumbled into one of their residences plastered out of their minds and arguing over who married the ugliest woman.

    "I'm telling you," started the visitor..."this woman's face is so butt ugly, if I had a dog that looked like her, I'd shave it's ass and teach it to walk backwards!"

    The host became sullen and said, "Wait a minute."

    He proceeded to roll back the Persian rug adorning the living room, flipped a loop and lifted a hatch cleverly lined in the floor and yelled down, "HONEY!! COME HERE."

    A faint, feeble, weakened voice arrived - "Should I put the bag on?"

    "Naw,...I don't wanna' fuck you,...just show you to a friend of mine."

  4. #4
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    True story, eh?

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Simon43 View Post
    About 700 baht for one hour use of the room, 250 baht for lady drinks for 1 lady hostess, and 50 baht per each song played.)
    Here, I looked up some songs that take less than 120 seconds. Any one of them should do...whadya reckon?
    100 Kickass Songs Under 2 Minutes Long

    You're welcome

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by YourDaddy View Post
    True story, eh?
    It's whatever you need it to be, YD.

  7. #7
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    [quote]
    Here, I looked up some songs that take less than 120 seconds. Any one of them should do...whadya reckon?
    ['quote]

    Well, bear in mind that these karaokees cater primarily to Burmese and Chinese customers. The choice of English songs is abysmal.

    Quite frankly, if you can manage a passable version of Hotel California, you're good to go..., although I did murder John Denver's Country Road last week at a school teacher karaokee evening, (but didn't get to bang any of these lovelies across the table!)

  8. #8
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    ^ I didn't expect you'd be actually singing during the 120 seconds of the song playing

  9. #9
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    @Simon - how can you murder Take Me Home Country Roads? Are you tone deaf or what??! re: your latest adventures, I wish you good luck!

  10. #10
    Sukhumvet
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    I can't believe it took that long for you to explore the KTV place. How long have you been living there?

    I went to China and the company put us in a hotel that had a "Suana/hot tub" with a reception counter. Took me less than a week to discover what was in there.
    Better to think inside the pub, than outside the box?
    I apologize if any offence was caused. unless it was intended.
    You people, you think I know feck nothing; I tell you: I know feck all
    Those who cannot change their mind, cannot change anything.

  11. #11
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    I can't believe it took that long for you to explore the KTV place. How long have you been living there?
    I have been living there for about 2 years, and prior to that in Mandalay and Yangon.

    But there is a reason for my 'reticence' to visit the KTV. Naypyitaw is not like Yangon or Mandalay. It is a military city, HQ of the army, police and government. Police and armed soldiers are stationed at the entrance of every hotel, foreigners are discretely followed or questioned.

    When I walked into the entrance of the large hotel where the KTV is located, there was the usual, plain-clothes 'informer' who greeted me and asked why I was there. I explained that I was checking out the hotel. When I walked further down the road, 2 security guys and someone from the hotel tried to steer me into the hotel, but I explained that I wanted to check out the KTV for a birthday party for my work colleagues.

    Fraternising with the opposite sex (or same sex for that matter), is almost a no-no for foreigners in NPT, and previous foreign teachers at my school have lost their jobs because of this rule. I'm sure my KTV visit hasn't gone unnoticed...

  12. #12
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    Things we sacrifice for being educators....

  13. #13
    Pedantic bastard
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    Quote Originally Posted by YourDaddy View Post
    Things we sacrifice for being fornicators....
    FTFY......

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Simon43 View Post
    previous foreign teachers at my school have lost their jobs because of this rule
    ...definitely time for a change of venue...

  15. #15
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    Much as I enjoy the serenity of NPT (very safe cycling, lakes etc), the lack of socializing opportunities (of all types, not just mongering), probably means that my days in this fair city are numbered.

    There is another, rather compelling reason for considering a change of location. I am now being offered online teaching contracts with an hourly pay rate similar to what I earn from in-class teaching. Several years ago, I taught Vietnamese kids online in my local evenings in NPT and found it very easy money to earn. Well, the pay rates for experienced teachers seem to have risen considerably and daytime hour work is also available.

    So I could return to Thailand, pick a cheap beach location and teach online again.

    My ICT skills seem to be a bonus here. I did a recent Skype interview with a school in China and the interviewer was impressed (to put it mildly) as I effortlessly swapped the background image behind me using chroma key (green screen) software to display a zoo, a restaurant, a classroom etc. I got offered the job on the spot

    Whatever I choose to do, I will stay in NPT until the end of the school year - March 2019, and then consider my options.

  16. #16
    disturbance in the Turnip baldrick's Avatar
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    it should be stipulated in the contract that you require a monthly health checkup

    make sure the equipment still works with the opposite sex - full function check

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by VocalNeal View Post
    I can't believe it took that long for you to explore the KTV place. How long have you been living there?

    I went to China and the company put us in a hotel that had a "Suana/hot tub" with a reception counter. Took me less than a week to discover what was in there.
    Was it a sauna and a hot tub?

  18. #18
    a cookin' an' a bookin' Luigi's Avatar
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    Was it Simon?

  19. #19
    disturbance in the Turnip baldrick's Avatar
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    no potos and no fcuking - what was the point of the op ?

    Quote Originally Posted by armstrong View Post
    Was it a sauna and a hot tub?
    those places are way more than that - when she puts you on your hands and knees and blows cold and hot water on your arsehole - interesting

    when she inverts herself with the aid of a ceiling sling , then winds herself up and then puts her mouth on your cock and unwinds - marvelous

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by baldrick View Post
    when she inverts herself with the aid of a ceiling sling , then winds herself up and then puts her mouth on your cock and unwinds
    ...yes, that's the frequently requested Cirque du Soleil squinch...

  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by tomcat View Post
    ...yes, that's the frequently requested Cirque du Soleil squinch...
    How frequently do you comply?
    Last edited by Maanaam; 14-07-2018 at 12:20 PM.

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