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  1. #1
    Utopian Expat
    Chittychangchang's Avatar
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    Fleshlights are out! Tenga Flip Zeros are in!



    Gonna be hard to replicate this bad boy!
    Not like the good old days when all one needed was a pringle tube,sponge,rubber glove and a strong elastic band


    When the prospect of a ‘guyvibrator’ was first offered up, I immediately had one important question: ‘Where do you expect me to put that?’ Thankfully, the answer was that it did not need to go up anywhere, you simply put something in it, so I remained open to continuing the conversation. Another thought I had when the ‘guyvibrator’ was brought up: Why hadn’t I considered buying a wanking device before? As a man in his late twenties, an awful lot of masturbation has happened in my life. Just a quick bit of rough mathematics suggests I have probably knocked one out not just hundreds, but thousands of times. A conservative estimate is 100 times a year for 15 years, so we’re talking about 1,500 times. A less conservative, and much more accurate estimate would be more like double that. Possibly 3,000-4,000 wanks. That’s a huge amount. It is really hard to think of any other leisure activity that you would do on more separate occasions. I like a game of darts, but there’s no way I’ve played someone on the oche 3,000 times. I am a huge fan of going to the pub, but I’ve not been to 3,000 ale houses, not even close. (Picture: Ella BYworth for MEtro.co.uk) With this in mind, it’s weird that you would do something thousands of times and just do it the same way every single time. You might mix up what you look at whilst you do it, but the process of boshing one off has been largely identical since the first attempt as an inexperienced rookie to the latest handiwork of a gnarled veteran. So it’s time for a change. It seems much more common and accepted for ladies to mix things up masturbation-wise, so why don’t us guys give it a go as well? Maybe because it is generally easier for blokes to complete the task (namely, orgasm) unaided that technology has is not widely introduced, but if the whole event can be more enjoyable then why not bring it out? Step forward the Tenga Flip Zero EV, the piece of kit tasked with improving the age old tug that has become so mundane after 3,000 previous efforts. The Tenga Flip is the guyvibrator you need in your life Play Video Loaded: 0% 0:00Progress: 0% PlayMute Current Time 0:00 / Duration Time 0:00 Fullscreen At first glance it could be a fancy bedside light or an unusual flask, but you don’t put your Bovril in this, pal – you put your knob in it. It’s basically a long rubber tube with a hole in one end for said knob. However, it has plastic arms along each side which you slide off. When these are removed you can open it up to reveal the rubber inside which looks a bit like one of the pods in The Matrix where the robots were growing babies. You need to open it to lube up this bad boy to the max from the inside. You get it all lubey then you close it back up. Then you can head right in and this is when the magic happens. On the opposite end from the entrance hole is a button which will make the Tenga vibrate. Click it a few times to rattle through different speeds and rhythms. As someone unaccustomed to such a contraption, I was very pleasantly surprised. If anything, too pleasantly surprised. Thank the Lord that nothing is expected of you when knocking one off, because if I had lasted that long with my girlfriend there would have been a number of swift apologies and promises to do better next time. A day later, I thought I’d give it another whirl to see if I just needed to get accustomed to it. Same result. Very fun while it lasted, but over too soon. Like a Calippo on a hot summer’s day, or Beppe di Marco’s stint on Eastenders. So, is this a good thing or a bad thing? Sensation-wise, great, really very good, most enjoyable. But is a short amount of something great better than more of something slightly less pleasurable?



    Read more: What it's like to stick your penis in the Tenga Flip Zero | Metro News
    Twitter: https://twitter.com/MetroUK | Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MetroUK/


    Bollocks to spending 90 on one, think i'll get the 30 day free trial and return it


    https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Tenga-Fli...-6ix73W1W7ezbQ

    If you are not 100% satisfied with your purchase, you can return the product and get a full refund or exchange the product for another one, be it similar or not.
    You can return a product for up to 30 days from the date you purchased it.
    Any product you return must be in the same condition you received it and in the original packaging. Please keep the receipt.

  2. #2
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    100 times a year from age 15 to 30?
    Rank amateur.

  3. #3
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    Can you rent them?...And how much for short-time?...

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chittychangchang View Post
    You can return a product for up to 30 days from the date you purchased it.
    Yeah, that's the same deal they have at most of the bars, innit?...

  5. #5
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    Simon43's Avatar
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    Do they offer different sizes? That hole looks too small for my monster...

  6. #6
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    kmart's Avatar
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    How desperate do you have to be to stick your knob in one of these things?

    At least it looks a bit high-tech, and unlike an amputated vagina. That's probably a bonus, looking down there and not feeling like you're Ed Gein, e.g.

  7. #7
    Ex TD Fat Club VP Dillinger's Avatar
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    How did you get on the mailing list Chitty?

  8. #8
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    Airportwo's Avatar
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    Flashlights wasn't "misspellt" in the title Bye...

  9. #9
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    Simon43's Avatar
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    Who designs products like this? I bet somewhere in mainland China there is a team designing all manner of sex toys. A job in the QA department must be fun (or tiring).

  10. #10
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    kmart's Avatar
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    ^Intriguing subject. A quick dip into google...

    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Fleshlights are out! Tenga Flip Zeros are in!-chinese-dildo-factory.jpg  

  11. #11
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    ^Thats not google. It’s Magenta.

  12. #12
    Thailand Expat VocalNeal's Avatar
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    These might be cheaper if you've got a cock like a baby's arm?
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Fleshlights are out! Tenga Flip Zeros are in!-2pcs-adult-swimming-armbands-children-inflatable.jpg  

  13. #13
    Ex TD Fat Club VP Dillinger's Avatar
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    Can't beat a bit of fruit, I should imagine

  14. #14
    Utopian Expat
    Chittychangchang's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dillinger View Post
    How did you get on the mailing list Chitty?
    Luigi sent them my email address, b'stard

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by kmart View Post
    How desperate do you have to be to stick your knob in one of these things?

    At least it looks a bit high-tech, and unlike an amputated vagina. That's probably a bonus, looking down there and not feeling like you're Ed Gein, e.g.
    Someone mention Fleshlights!! ei ei

  16. #16
    Custom user Neverna's Avatar
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    With this new fancy manvagrator available, there should be plenty of second hand fleshlights on the market, Dickie.

  17. #17
    Thailand Expat
    hick's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dillinger View Post
    Can't beat a bit of fruit, I should imagine
    Any particular ones pop into mind? - just wondering.

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Neverna View Post
    With this new fancy manvagrator available, there should be plenty of second hand fleshlights on the market, Dickie.
    all goodies... save on lube heh...

  19. #19
    disturbance in the Turnip baldrick's Avatar
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    I have prided myself on my ability to shag ugly things , but this does not stir the loins

  20. #20
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    wasabi's Avatar
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    Is this a new low energy bulb that's going to save the planet from global warming?

  21. #21
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    Dragonfly's Avatar
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    how does that fucking work ????

  22. #22
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    I still prefer the look of Dickie's fleshlite, the one of the monster with teeth.

    (Someone post that here, pls)

  23. #23
    Thailand Expat

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    ^ Please...She has a name...Heh...

  24. #24
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    ^ 55 cheeky barsteward!

    I call mine the Clitorisaurus-Rex.

    I used to call her simply "squishy".

    I love science, so I'd love to put lil Dicky into a wormhole lol...

    How's about this one...

    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Fleshlights are out! Tenga Flip Zeros are in!-7ble2to.jpg  

  25. #25
    Thailand Expat

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    ^Pervert

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