My stetson is full of shit.

[Seekingasylum]

A recent report from the Algonquin Recorder, Fuckwitzville, Tennessee reveals that since Donald Trump has taken office the demand for stetsons in the town used as mobile defecation receptacles has skyrocketed and there is now a stetson shortage.

Hiram B. Swivel-Eyed Loon Jnr, the town's resident Republican milliner and midget told reporters " Heck, it's gettin' to be a real hornswoggler and pretty soon no one will be able to take a shit in a hat. Ah blames Obama".

A walk down Main and Turd, the only intersection in this small town recognised as the quintessential lower bowel twist of Middle America's highway to Shitsville, quickly confirms Hiram's fears as our reporter slid through a particularly large steaming pile of shit he mistook for a sleeping Hispanic.

USA Today has picked up on the story and features a picture of Ivana Trump wearing a stetson and little else. No comment has been forthcoming from the White House but a tweet from the Oval Office at 0400 hrs announces " America will have glorious stetsons, I promise you. American hat shitting is what this great country is all about. Muslims and Obama can't and never could. Let 's all just poopdkrfefe".

Meanwhile, back in Algonquin, Hiram is still waiting for his next shipment. " the thang is, ever since we had a nigra furr President we had to close down our factories and ship out stetson making to them yellow bastards out East. We ain't got no control 'n airythang and it just gives me the screamin' shits."

As the smell of freshly laid ordure begins to envelop Algonquin in a miasma of putrid effluent many here are beginning to think that America too is sinking into a cesspit of faecal despair and wonder when they will be delivered from their lavatorial purgatory. Gazing at the re-runs of the Lone Ranger, Hiram wheezes wistfully and recalls " Heck, that guy really knew how to shit in his hat. Fine white stetson, too. America was great then".

[Mr Earl]

Looks like the gent is getting high on his own shit.

Yet again!

[bsnub]

Hiram B. Swivel-Eyed Loon Jnr, the town's resident Republican milliner and midget told reporters

A friend of slick's no doubt.

[taxexile]

Turd Reich:

San Francisco dog owners lay minefield of poo for rightwing rally.




San Francisco’s Crissy Field, the site of the rightwing rally. Dog owners are said to be stockpiling excrement to carpet the field.

Julia Carrie Wong in San Francisco
@juliacarriew
email

Thursday 24 August 2017 20.46 BST Last modified on Friday 25 August 2017 00.40 BST


When a group of far-right activists come to San Francisco to hold a rally this Saturday, they will be met by peace activists offering them flowers to wear in their hair.

Also, dog shit. Lots and lots of dog shit.

Hundreds of San Franciscans plan to prepare Crissy Field, the picturesque beach in the shadow of the Golden Gate Bridge where rightwing protest group Patriot Prayer will gather, with a generous carpeting of excrement.



“I just had this image of alt-right people stomping around in the poop,” Tuffy Tuffington said of the epiphany he had while walking Bob and Chuck, his two Patterdale terriers, and trying to think of the best way to respond to rightwing extremists in the wake of Charlottesville. “It seemed like a little bit of civil disobedience where we didn’t have to engage with them face to face.”

Tuffington, a 45-year-old artist and designer, created a Facebook event page based on the concept, and the dog owners of San Francisco responded in droves. Many have declared their intention to stockpile their shitpiles for days in advance, then deliver them in bags for the site. (The group is also planning to reconvene on Sunday to “clean up the mess and hug each other”.)


The presence of Patriot Prayer, whose “free speech” events in the Pacific north-west have frequently sparked violent street battles, in notoriously liberal San Francisco has city authorities on edge. Elected officials unsuccessfully pressured the National Park Service to deny the group a permit, and the police department is planning to deploy every available officer.

But for many San Franciscans, an unwelcome visit from members of the “alt-right” is an opportunity to fight back in the spirit of the city by the bay – with flower power, drag queens, a little creativity, and an assist from the animal kingdom.


Shannon Bolt, a behavior scientist who works at Crissy Field, intends to confront Patriot Prayer in the spirit of the Summer of Love. “As white supremacists and neo-Nazis gather in our midst, we’ll tune into the love frequency again and meet their hatred with flowers for their hair,” she wrote in a Facebook event description.

If security forces keep the protest and counter-protest separate, Bolt told the Guardian, “We will have to offer our Flowers Against Fascism to them symbolically.”

There will also be contingents of clowns, kayakers, cars, and kids – all hoping to use their particular strengths (humor, seaworthiness, the ability to monopolize parking spaces, and cuteness, respectively) to thumb their noses at hate.

“You have a significant number of people who would like to go and punch Nazis, and then you have people who think they should be entirely ignored,” said veteran labor and LGBTQ rights activist Cleve Jones. “In between you have all sorts of creative and crazy ideas. I kind of like that.”


Jones is working with local drag queen Juanita More to host a rally and march for equality beginning at Harvey Milk Plaza in the city’s Castro district. “There’s this desire to create fear,” he said of media coverage showing torch-wielding racists spewing hateful chants. “With these kinds of creative actions, we dispel fear. We say we’re going to fight you and we’re going to have a ball doing it and we’re going to laugh and love each other.”


Jones is also taking inspiration from the German town of Wunsiedel, where residents have responded to an annual neo-Nazi march by sponsoring an “involuntary walkathon” that raises funds for anti-extremist causes.

He is raising money for ten local organizations that reflect the diversity of San Francisco, including the Transgender Law Center, Disability Rights and Education Defense Fund, and Muslim Advocates. A similar Wunsiedel-inspired effort has been launched by Jewish Bar Association of San Francisco, which has raised more than $100,000 for the the Southern Poverty Law Center under the banner “Adopt-a-Nazi”.

“When the dust has settled and the smoke has cleared,” Jones said, “I hope that the appearance of rightwing extremists in San Francisco will raise a significant amount of money for the people they seek to harm.”

Update: This article has been amended to add that the dog poop protesters’ plan to clean up after themselves.


the guardian

[Seekingasylum]

The best parody soon becomes reality, eh?

Remember the Tom Sharpe trilogy of novels about Capt Van Heerden and his trusty compatriot Konstabel Els in their eternal fight to preserve the apartheid status quo in South Africa?

Ridley Scott bought up an option to film Riotous Assembly but when he came round to actually trying to get the project off the ground he realised it was unfilmable - the parody was in fact so close to the truth in so many ways it was utterly pointless and it came to nothing.

America is actually becoming that place - a parody beyond satire that is in fact the reality.

[taxexile]

“You have a significant number of people who would like to go and punch Nazis, and then you have people who think they should be entirely ignored,” said veteran labor and LGBTQ rights activist Cleve Jones. “In between you have all sorts of creative and crazy ideas. I kind of like that.”

Jones is working with local drag queen Juanita More to host a rally and march for equality beginning at Harvey Milk Plaza in the city’s Castro district. “There’s this desire to create fear,” he said of media coverage showing torch-wielding racists spewing hateful chants. “With these kinds of creative actions, we dispel fear. We say we’re going to fight you and we’re going to have a ball doing it and we’re going to laugh and love each other.”

it seems to be the case these days that the only views and opinions worth reporting are those of the local left wing shirt lifters and cross dressers collective.

it is indeed hard to distinguish between parody and reality in todays world.

[Seekingasylum]

Americans have been much more extreme in protecting their interests, not least because they have a considerably higher proportion of homicidal nutcases per capita than practically anywhere else in the world. Thus, any minority interest is pretty up front in demonstrating their ability and willingness to bite back, hard, if provoked. Quite reasonable really when one considers the number murdered for being black, poor, gay or not simply a white, anglo/saxon protestant rich fucker.

Also, it is California and they are different there, even for America.

[TizMe]

[bsnub]

Also, it is California and they are different there, even for America.

We on the west coast would prefer if you excluded us from your observations.

Please include Washington and Oregon as well as California.

Just do not move here because there is a huge exodus from the red states to the blue. We do not need anymore transplants.

[buriramboy]

Also, it is California and they are different there, even for America.

We on the west coast would prefer if you excluded us from your observations.

Please include Washington and Oregon as well as California.

You're all pooves on the West coast.

[bsnub]

You're all pooves on the West coast.

You are Scottish so what the fuck do you know anyway? The only time you left the country was to pick up your mail order bride in LOS.

[buriramboy]

You're all pooves on the West coast.

You are Scottish so what the fuck do you know anyway? The only time you left the country was to pick up your mail order bride in LOS.

Mail order brides are just for socially inadequate obese Americans, so sorry to disappoint but I didn't fit the criteria.

[bsnub]

Mail order brides are just for socially inadequate obese Scots who leach off family they have nothing to do with

FTFY

[AntRobertson]

You're all pooves on the West coast.

You are Scottish so what the fuck do you know anyway? The only time you left the country was to pick up your mail order bride in LOS.

Mail order brides are just for socially inadequate obese Americans, so sorry to disappoint but I didn't fit the criteria.

Well it's true that you're not American...

[Seekingasylum]

Excuse me, but what has this got to do with the OP theme? There are plenty of other septic threads in SC in which you can swap insults. Leave my Lounge shit in a hat septic thread alone.