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  1. #1
    Thailand Expat David48atTD's Avatar
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    May I share a Prayer with you?

    There's a gentle, seemingly friendly knock at your front door.

    You're (rightfully) suspicious.

    Stealthy you approach the door and peer though the spy glass.

    Shite, Shite, Shite ... it's the Jehovah Witnesses outside.

    Just stay quite, breath deeply and silently and they will think no-one is at home and there will just be another copy of the Watchtower to put in the recycle bin.

    Little Johnny, the apple of your eye has other ideas and ...

    A flappin' and a flailing' he comes running over ...

    'Daddy, Daddy ... who's at the front door?
    Why don't you open it?
    Is it the debt collector ... again
    ?'


    On hearing this commotion, there is, again, a gentle rapping at your front door.

    Games up ... you're guilty conscious opens the front door, just enough to be partially friendly ... but smart enough to have planted your foot behind it, just in-case they mount an all out assault to enter your premises.


    Want this never ending cycle of conversion attempts to end?

    Call in a Trump Missile Strike? ... NO

    6' high fence ringed with razor wire ... hardly.


    ANSWER ... move to Russia.


    Jehovah's Witnesses banned by Russian court as 'extremist' organisation, ordered to disband.

    Russia's Supreme Court judge Yuri Ivanenko reads the decision in a court room in Moscow.
    Russia's Supreme Court has ruled that Jehovah's Witnesses were an "extremist" organisation and must disband and hand over all property to the state.

    The religious grouping confirmed the ruling about its "liquidation" in Russia.

    Here
    .

    “Someone is sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago”

    .

  2. #2
    Thailand Expat
    hick's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by David48atTD View Post
    There's a gentle, seemingly friendly knock at your front door.

    You're (rightfully) suspicious.

    Stealthy you approach the door and peer though the spy glass.

    Shite, Shite, Shite ... it's the Jehovah Witnesses outside.
    That's when I sing-song:

    "just a minute...." while applying a pentagram on my forehead and pulling the Satanic Verses copy out of the drawer.

    *sigh* time for me to try and convert again.

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  4. #4
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    wasabi's Avatar
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    Good on Russia, protecting its people from an American cult.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by hick View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by David48atTD View Post
    There's a gentle, seemingly friendly knock at your front door.

    You're (rightfully) suspicious.

    Stealthy you approach the door and peer though the spy glass.

    Shite, Shite, Shite ... it's the Jehovah Witnesses outside.
    That's when I sing-song:

    "just a minute...." while applying a pentagram on my forehead and pulling the Satanic Verses copy out of the drawer.

    *sigh* time for me to try and convert again.
    When I was in my early 20's I'd ask to quote from my book back at them, a book of poems by John Cooper Clarke (Chicken Town). That usually got them turning ashen and leaving.
    But in later years I found it far funnier to open the door and just stare blankly into their eyes with a poker face.
    Seeing them go from keen to talk, to frustrated, to concerned for their safety without me uttering a word was a hoot. Very hard to keep a straight face.

  6. #6
    Thailand Expat
    hick's Avatar
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    Working split shifts in Korea, I was down at noon for the daily nap and my nifty little intercom screen popped on with these 2 Korean ladies' mugs propped on it nattering on.

    I don't know why...curiosity? (they weren't hot), I buzzed them in.

    At the door in an instant, they started waving a bible at me and carrying on.

    I slammed the door and retreated back to bed.

    It wasn't 15 minutes later and they returned. This time with a bible in English.

    I answered the door wild-haired and almost naked.

    That got em' scurrying.

  7. #7
    Thailand Expat tomcat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hick
    I don't know why...curiosity? (they weren't hot)
    I suspect there was a time when you'd do anybody...even Christians...

  8. #8
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    I was sober.

    If they'd have popped by around soju hour....all sorts of scenarios may have played out.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by tomcat View Post
    you'd do anybody...even Christians...
    Now that you mention it, my 2nd ex was (is) X-tian.
    And the 2nd firmest minor wifey at that time was too.

    Not the proselytizer-type. More of the cute, quiet, god-fearing, you're all going to hell but I won't tell you, type.

    As a matter of fact, after (out of the goodness of my heart, you understand) I'd introduced majora to all sorts of sexually deviant goodies, she turned her back on it all and announced that she'd be saving her body for Jaysus. Jesus, there's some competition.

    Then she moved to Waco, TX of all f'kin places.

    No, I didn't warn her about Waco.

    majora



    minora

  10. #10
    disconnected SKkin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hick
    Then she moved to Waco, TX of all f'kin places.
    What did you do to that poor woman jimbo? She's not lesbian now too, is she?




    The JWs or the Mormons no longer knock at my door...after I had some Eso style 'discussions' with them.

  11. #11
    Thailand Expat tomcat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SKkin
    after I had some Eso style 'discussions' with them
    including body shaming, I hope...

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by hick View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by tomcat View Post
    you'd do anybody...even Christians...
    Now that you mention it, my 2nd ex was (is) X-tian.


    majora


    Mate, she's good looking, but one look tells me she's a goody two shoes and only suffers sex and "naughty" things for the sake of peace. Wasn't going to last.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maanaam View Post
    one look tells me....

    ehhh,...alright man.

  14. #14
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    Just curious - can you guys tell from just a photo if a gal is a goody-two-shoes, a naughty minx, or somewhere in between? Is it based on experience, age or instinct?

    And before anyone asks - no, I won't post my pic here. Heh...

  15. #15
    Thailand Expat tomcat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by katie23
    if a gal is a goody-two-shoes, a naughty minx, or somewhere in between?
    once the lights dim, all bets are off...

  16. #16
    ENT
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    Quote Originally Posted by katie23 View Post
    Just curious - can you guys tell from just a photo if a gal is a goody-two-shoes, a naughty minx, or somewhere in between? Is it based on experience, age or instinct?

    And before anyone asks - no, I won't post my pic here. Heh...
    Instinct.

    Post another pic and I'll tell ya the truth.

  17. #17
    ENT
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    Quote Originally Posted by hick View Post
    majora
    Is that chap sitting behind her apparently fondling his fuel pump you?

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by katie23
    And before anyone asks - no, I won't post my pic here. Heh...
    Don't need pics to know you're a "little minx," Katie...555...It's all in your wonderful prose...

  19. #19
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    Just over 30 years ago and not long after moving to Australia there used to be a JW couple who would come round on the occasional Saturday morning with their two kids.

    I always knew as they would park their van at the bottom of my driveway and walk the
    100 or so meters up it. Now my place was in the bush with no one within a couple of hundred meters. So one morning as I saw them park I threw of all my clothes and ran down to the wood shed with my chainsaw. I had my back to them and was chainsawing away when they rounded the bend in the driveway.
    How I wish I could have seen the looks on their faces.

    Anyway the best bit was they never came back.

  20. #20
    Thailand Expat tomcat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lantern
    I threw of all my clothes and ran down to the wood shed
    according to Animal Planet, the woodshed is where all the dangerous Ozzie snakes hang out...better to answer the door with the chainsaw running and shout "next!"...

  21. #21
    Thailand Expat
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    Quote Originally Posted by ENT View Post
    Is that chap sitting behind her apparently fondling his fuel pump you?
    Yes. I was either cold, anxious to get back to the room....or both!

  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by katie23 View Post
    Just curious - can you guys tell from just a photo if a gal is a goody-two-shoes, a naughty minx, or somewhere in between? Is it based on experience, age or instinct?

    And before anyone asks - no, I won't post my pic here. Heh...
    Yeah, generally. Not foolproof of course. Experience and instinct.And the eyes are the window to the soul. One notices what's in the eyes, plus minutiae like the smile, the glance, the body language. Mostly subconscious, too.
    Being familiar with the culture helps, too.

  23. #23
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    ^hmm, interesting. Now, I'm curious as to what you would say re: my personality if you saw my pic. But not curious enough to post a pic here! Lol.

    @baitong boy - wonderful prose, eh... what flattery! That won't get a pic from me, though. But skype, now there's an option..heh.

  24. #24
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    ^ I'm gonna pursue that option...He says...

  25. #25
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    ^heh...

    @maanaam - so what would you say about the personalities of Ms. Majora & Ms. Minora up there? Hick could confirm or deny, since he knew them, ahem, intimately...

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