I've met tons of posters, many who are active here...you can ask one and all if I've ever given a fuck.Originally Posted by Looper
I've met tons of posters, many who are active here...you can ask one and all if I've ever given a fuck.Originally Posted by Looper
What are people's perceptions about Asian girls married to western men?
Never been a problem, never heard about this or even thought about it until I read the OP.
But it got Me thinking that people avoid Me like the plague, people keep their distance from Me, which means they're not going to chat about the OP to Me.
On the other hand My Mary is loved by all, she has friends everywhere and is a socialite of very high standing in the Thai community.
I'm the one that's shunned, and I like it like that.
Flip the coin.
If Thai men were walking around with white skinned council estate slag single mother Sharon & Tracy on benefits types or tattooed earring ridden gipsy traveller types there would equally be as much gossip/ridicule from farangs in Thailand.
And rightly so.
Sometimes you have to choose between your wife and your friends. Real friends wouldn't bat an eyelid if you're happy.
You specifically brought in "peers and acquaintances", a tiny subset of Topper's "other people". We all care what peers and friends think but do you really care what Mbongo Suttawale, Chief Child-Catcher of Ngobblies Province, Upper Volta or Harry Scrote of The Palms, Saint Jocks thinks of your Missus or, indeed, what any of the other 7 billion or so people you don't know think about your relationships? If you do then not only are you, as above, also cursed with a particularly awful set of acquaintances but are so appallingly oversensitive as to be best kept away from any human contact whatsoever.
The Above Post May Contain Strong Language, Flashing Lights, or Violent Scenes.
Not sure why you say 'tiny'Originally Posted by DrB0b
but sounds like we basically agree.Originally Posted by DrB0b
Mmmmm not really.Originally Posted by DrB0b
In London I used to find myself muttering ''whore bitch'' under my breath if I ever saw a pretty oriental girl walking with or holding hands with a white, indian, or black guy.
I was usually right, as I lived in a flat above Noi's massage parlour in Caledonian Road
When I say we care what other people think I mean our family, friends, acquaintances, workmates, peers etc. Not sure where you are going with Mbongo Suttawale and the 7 billion people we will never meet or know.
Anyway the basic point is that, despite our claims to not care what other people think, our genes have programmed us to care. We are a social animal and we are hard-wired to care about our social status and that involves other people's opinions of us.
Our commonly professed claims not to care are an ironic self-contradiction since they are partly an attempt to impress our peers with our professed psychological resilience and thereby enhance our reputations.
Do no harm but take no shit. Does it matter what people think? I personally don't.
I really don't give a rat's ass what people think about me personally or my being married to a Thai. If some out there don't agree with it, then it is probably time to do an inventory on one's way of thinking.
Using the title of the OP People's Perceptions of Western men married to Asian Women I believe it does subtly change if the couple is living in the West or in Thailand.
In the West the focus seems more on the Lady and, in Thailand, more on the Man.
It is what it is.
BTW, I care what my Family/Friends thinks of my partner, whether she is Thai, Afghan, Swedish or from my home country ... I'm not a social isolationist.
Flip the coin, I care what my Partner thinks of my Family and Friends.
It's kind of like the rungs on a ladder.
My strongest bond is with my immediate Family ... my Partner and our children.
They are firmly on the top rung.
It's a fairly long stretch to get to the next set of rungs which include, in no particular order, my extended Thai family, my family in the West, our Thais friends, our friends in the West ... other relationships are mostly peripheral after that.
.
Holy shit bro, and I thought I was over-protective of my wife
I understand completely, but everything in moderation.
Where is SeekingAss and his "handbag?"...Sure he has it all figured...
Was he "done for sausages," again?...
I don't think you are making any coherent point. You are grasping at straws to try and conjure a non-existent semantic distinction.
In the context of my argument 'others' means people who you interact with. These would include family, peers, acquaintances, workmates etc..
Anyway to get back to the point - we are programmed to care about what others think. We may engage the reasoning part of our brain to check our instincts so that we don't react to every insult and slight to our missus but it doesn't mean that we don't care what other people think.
seems u all need to take up psychology. if ur honest with your self and have ur own situation sussed correctly, how can anybody insult u if the intended insult is true/accurate whats to complain, if its the opinion of a fool, as are many such ramblings on here,, if ur all full of intellect, why oh why are u giving a fool credibility.... end of lesson... try to keep up looper.
^It is true that intelligent people engage their intellect when assessing a slight on themselves or their missus before deciding whether to respond or let it slide.
It is not true that folk do not care what other people think.
The degree to which we care depends on many things about the other person.
Relationship to that person
Their credibility
Their reputation
Their power
Whether we will see them again or they are a passing stranger
Your social standing in the pecking order
Their social standing in the pecking order
Whether the slight is witnessed by others and your response might affect your reputation (if you are a young male low in the social pecking order then a hostile response is more likely - and more warranted given evolutionary logic)
At the end of the day you might want to summarise your position by saying 'I don't care what other people think' but there is actually quite a lot that goes into each individual decision to take that position in response to each individual slight.
It might be true to say that in the event that somebody casually implies that your wife is a ho because she is Asian that you will automatically tend to discount that person's opinion and not respond based on the rudeness of the suggestion but it is plainly an over-generalisation to say that we don't care what others think. If somebody you respected had formed the opinion, based on false information, that your wife was a ho you would almost certainly care and find a way to set them straight.
You are setting up a false dichotomy. There are many positions in-between the true honest assertion of fact by a respected person and the rambling of a fool. That is where choosing to respond to insults or not gets gnarly.Originally Posted by lob
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