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  1. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by Looper
    But either way you are probably worried about other people's opinions.
    I've met tons of posters, many who are active here...you can ask one and all if I've ever given a fuck.

  2. #27
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    What are people's perceptions about Asian girls married to western men?

  3. #28
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    Never been a problem, never heard about this or even thought about it until I read the OP.
    But it got Me thinking that people avoid Me like the plague, people keep their distance from Me, which means they're not going to chat about the OP to Me.
    On the other hand My Mary is loved by all, she has friends everywhere and is a socialite of very high standing in the Thai community.
    I'm the one that's shunned, and I like it like that.

  4. #29
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    Flip the coin.

    If Thai men were walking around with white skinned council estate slag single mother Sharon & Tracy on benefits types or tattooed earring ridden gipsy traveller types there would equally be as much gossip/ridicule from farangs in Thailand.

    And rightly so.

  5. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Pat View Post
    gossip/ridicule
    rightly so.
    I'd have to disagree.

    Even when I partake in it, I know there's nothing "right" about it at all.

  6. #31
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    Sometimes you have to choose between your wife and your friends. Real friends wouldn't bat an eyelid if you're happy.

  7. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by UrbanMan View Post
    Interracial relationships still make many uneasy. Me, I'm more inclined to laugh derisively at the skinny guy attached to a horribly obese woman.

    I find it quite flawed that people really do think things like, oh its just so wrong for that young Asian woman to be with an older whitey largely for financial reasons. They don't understand that most traditional man-woman relationships in the west are still mostly about the man's earning power? My wife loves me for ME. Yes, the ME that brings in 2/3 of the household income.
    That's a pretty jaded view of relationships. I understand the thoughts behind it but they are pretty outmoded for the enlightened 1st world...Having said that 1 in 4 humans alive engage in procreative with their cousin...

  8. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by Looper View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by CSFFan
    If you're ever in that position, then my guess is you're not among friends and family
    If you are in the pub with friends, family, acquaintances, workmates and strangers (and your missus) then you have to make a decision about who's opinion you are most worried about.

    But either way you are probably worried about other people's opinions.


    Quote Originally Posted by DrB0b
    I have to say you seem to have a particularly foul set of peers and acquaintances. You don't seem to be a very good judge of character.
    Just a hypothetical situation to highlight that claiming that we don't care what other people think is not generally true.
    You specifically brought in "peers and acquaintances", a tiny subset of Topper's "other people". We all care what peers and friends think but do you really care what Mbongo Suttawale, Chief Child-Catcher of Ngobblies Province, Upper Volta or Harry Scrote of The Palms, Saint Jocks thinks of your Missus or, indeed, what any of the other 7 billion or so people you don't know think about your relationships? If you do then not only are you, as above, also cursed with a particularly awful set of acquaintances but are so appallingly oversensitive as to be best kept away from any human contact whatsoever.
    wubba lubba dub dub

  9. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by DrB0b
    You specifically brought in "peers and acquaintances", a tiny subset of Topper's "other people"
    Not sure why you say 'tiny'

    Quote Originally Posted by DrB0b
    We all care what peers and friends think
    but sounds like we basically agree.

    Quote Originally Posted by DrB0b
    but do you really care what Mbongo Suttawale, Chief Child-Catcher of Ngobblies Province, Upper Volta or Harry Scrote of The Palms, Saint Jocks thinks of your Missus
    Mmmmm not really.


  10. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by Looper View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by DrB0b
    You specifically brought in "peers and acquaintances", a tiny subset of Topper's "other people"
    Not sure why you say 'tiny'
    Because "other people" means all the people in the world who are not your peers and acquaintances. There are just over 7 Billion people in the world, how many of them are your personal "peers and acquaintances", is it a significant proportion of that 7 billion?

  11. #36
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    In London I used to find myself muttering ''whore bitch'' under my breath if I ever saw a pretty oriental girl walking with or holding hands with a white, indian, or black guy.

    I was usually right, as I lived in a flat above Noi's massage parlour in Caledonian Road

  12. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by DrB0b View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Looper View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by DrB0b
    You specifically brought in "peers and acquaintances", a tiny subset of Topper's "other people"
    Not sure why you say 'tiny'
    Because "other people" means all the people in the world who are not your peers and acquaintances. There are just over 7 Billion people in the world, how many of them are your personal "peers and acquaintances", is it a significant proportion of that 7 billion?
    When I say we care what other people think I mean our family, friends, acquaintances, workmates, peers etc. Not sure where you are going with Mbongo Suttawale and the 7 billion people we will never meet or know.

    Anyway the basic point is that, despite our claims to not care what other people think, our genes have programmed us to care. We are a social animal and we are hard-wired to care about our social status and that involves other people's opinions of us.

    Our commonly professed claims not to care are an ironic self-contradiction since they are partly an attempt to impress our peers with our professed psychological resilience and thereby enhance our reputations.

  13. #38
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    Do no harm but take no shit. Does it matter what people think? I personally don't.

  14. #39
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    I really don't give a rat's ass what people think about me personally or my being married to a Thai. If some out there don't agree with it, then it is probably time to do an inventory on one's way of thinking.

  15. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by Looper View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by DrB0b View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Looper View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by DrB0b
    You specifically brought in "peers and acquaintances", a tiny subset of Topper's "other people"
    Not sure why you say 'tiny'
    Because "other people" means all the people in the world who are not your peers and acquaintances. There are just over 7 Billion people in the world, how many of them are your personal "peers and acquaintances", is it a significant proportion of that 7 billion?
    When I say we care what other people think I mean our family, friends, acquaintances, workmates, peers etc. Not sure where you are going with Mbongo Suttawale and the 7 billion people we will never meet or know.
    Then I suggest you reread the first post you replied to on this thread, keep rereading it until you understand the difference between "others" and "peers and acquaintances". Maybe then you'll actually see CSSFans point and how widely you missed it in your reply.

  16. #41
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    People's Perceptions of Western men married to Asian Women

    Using the title of the OP People's Perceptions of Western men married to Asian Women I believe it does subtly change if the couple is living in the West or in Thailand.

    In the West the focus seems more on the Lady and, in Thailand, more on the Man.

    It is what it is.


    BTW, I care what my Family/Friends thinks of my partner, whether she is Thai, Afghan, Swedish or from my home country ... I'm not a social isolationist.

    Flip the coin, I care what my Partner thinks of my Family and Friends.


    It's kind of like the rungs on a ladder.

    My strongest bond is with my immediate Family ... my Partner and our children.
    They are firmly on the top rung.

    It's a fairly long stretch to get to the next set of rungs which include, in no particular order, my extended Thai family, my family in the West, our Thais friends, our friends in the West ... other relationships are mostly peripheral after that.
    .
    Perspective is everything ... it's the difference between going through an ordeal or going through an adventure..

  17. #42
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    Holy shit bro, and I thought I was over-protective of my wife

    I understand completely, but everything in moderation.

  18. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by NZdick1983 View Post
    Holy shit bro, and I thought I was over-protective of my wife

    I understand completely, but everything in moderation.
    Discussion of moderation is not allowed. This is your first and final warning. Next time you will find yourself taking a long holiday from ThaiVisa Forum. This thread has now been locked.


    Stephen

  19. #44
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    Where is SeekingAss and his "handbag?"...Sure he has it all figured...

    Was he "done for sausages," again?...

  20. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by DrB0b View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Looper View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by DrB0b View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Looper View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by DrB0b
    You specifically brought in "peers and acquaintances", a tiny subset of Topper's "other people"
    Not sure why you say 'tiny'
    Because "other people" means all the people in the world who are not your peers and acquaintances. There are just over 7 Billion people in the world, how many of them are your personal "peers and acquaintances", is it a significant proportion of that 7 billion?
    When I say we care what other people think I mean our family, friends, acquaintances, workmates, peers etc. Not sure where you are going with Mbongo Suttawale and the 7 billion people we will never meet or know.
    Then I suggest you reread the first post you replied to on this thread, keep rereading it until you understand the difference between "others" and "peers and acquaintances". Maybe then you'll actually see CSSFans point and how widely you missed it in your reply.
    I don't think you are making any coherent point. You are grasping at straws to try and conjure a non-existent semantic distinction.

    In the context of my argument 'others' means people who you interact with. These would include family, peers, acquaintances, workmates etc..

    Anyway to get back to the point - we are programmed to care about what others think. We may engage the reasoning part of our brain to check our instincts so that we don't react to every insult and slight to our missus but it doesn't mean that we don't care what other people think.

  21. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Pat View Post
    Flip the coin.

    If Thai men were walking around with white skinned council estate slag single mother Sharon & Tracy on benefits types or tattooed earring ridden gipsy traveller types there would equally be as much gossip/ridicule from farangs in Thailand.

    And rightly so.
    Isn't that what some black guys do?

  22. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by Looper View Post
    I don't think you are making any coherent point. You are grasping at straws to try and conjure a non-existent semantic distinction.
    It's a bad habit of his.

  23. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by DrB0b View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Looper View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by DrB0b View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Looper View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by DrB0b
    You specifically brought in "peers and acquaintances", a tiny subset of Topper's "other people"
    Not sure why you say 'tiny'
    Because "other people" means all the people in the world who are not your peers and acquaintances. There are just over 7 Billion people in the world, how many of them are your personal "peers and acquaintances", is it a significant proportion of that 7 billion?
    When I say we care what other people think I mean our family, friends, acquaintances, workmates, peers etc. Not sure where you are going with Mbongo Suttawale and the 7 billion people we will never meet or know.
    Then I suggest you reread the first post you replied to on this thread, keep rereading it until you understand the difference between "others" and "peers and acquaintances". Maybe then you'll actually see CSSFans point and how widely you missed it in your reply.
    bob, loopers just trying his usual intellectual bullshit. by the way u both piss the same distance.

  24. #49
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    seems u all need to take up psychology. if ur honest with your self and have ur own situation sussed correctly, how can anybody insult u if the intended insult is true/accurate whats to complain, if its the opinion of a fool, as are many such ramblings on here,, if ur all full of intellect, why oh why are u giving a fool credibility.... end of lesson... try to keep up looper.

  25. #50
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    ^It is true that intelligent people engage their intellect when assessing a slight on themselves or their missus before deciding whether to respond or let it slide.

    It is not true that folk do not care what other people think.

    The degree to which we care depends on many things about the other person.

    Relationship to that person
    Their credibility
    Their reputation
    Their power
    Whether we will see them again or they are a passing stranger
    Your social standing in the pecking order
    Their social standing in the pecking order
    Whether the slight is witnessed by others and your response might affect your reputation (if you are a young male low in the social pecking order then a hostile response is more likely - and more warranted given evolutionary logic)

    At the end of the day you might want to summarise your position by saying 'I don't care what other people think' but there is actually quite a lot that goes into each individual decision to take that position in response to each individual slight.

    It might be true to say that in the event that somebody casually implies that your wife is a ho because she is Asian that you will automatically tend to discount that person's opinion and not respond based on the rudeness of the suggestion but it is plainly an over-generalisation to say that we don't care what others think. If somebody you respected had formed the opinion, based on false information, that your wife was a ho you would almost certainly care and find a way to set them straight.

    Quote Originally Posted by lob
    if the intended insult is true/accurate whats to complain, if its the opinion of a fool
    You are setting up a false dichotomy. There are many positions in-between the true honest assertion of fact by a respected person and the rambling of a fool. That is where choosing to respond to insults or not gets gnarly.

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