TOXIC ZOMBIES (1980)
aka BLOODEATERS
Directed by Charles McCrann
Videatrics Home Video VHS
Reviewed 05.04.06
THE FILM
Here's a philosophical situation for you. You're walking in the woods. There's a naked girl with a yellow janitor's bucket. She's giving herself a rubdown with a
dirty-ass sponge. Coincidence? Or something more powerful?
Toxic Zombies has invited you to ponder this curious set of circumstances. Grab a sponge.
Some days, it just doesn't pay to harvest dope. Ask the group of twenty-something hippies in
Toxic Zombies aka
Bloodeaters. In a remote wilderness area, our six grody peaceniks are topping off a marijuana haul that'll have them "set for a year!" Federal agents sniff out the kids and sadness strikes. The government knows a good thing when they see it. Under the leadership of John "
Martin" Amplas, good ol' Uncle Sam crop-dusts the area with an experimental drug called Dromax. Call in the gore! Hippies morph into progressive cannibal zombies (with machete proficiency) and people run. Now, we can take it one step deeper.
Population is key. The threadbare plot of
Toxic Zombies is nothing on its own. In fact, the film might even get dead boring at times...if it wasn't for the inhumanly ridiculous characters. A nerdy couple tear each other's shirts to shreds before calmly doing it for the umpteenth time. A comic relief brother tells humdinger Polish jokes. A cowardly father (aren't they all?) gives his "touched" son a dose of hard love: "Even if he is retarded, he's got to learn to get along in this world." So true. And what about that son of his? He's either mentally challenged or constantly receiving a great massage. You tell me.
Back on the surface,
Toxic Zombies does it all. Charles McCrann, a one-timer director and sadly, victim of the 9/11 attacks, presents the film with a flurry of handheld shakes, surreal gore, and pretty much one location (the woods). The soundtrack manages to snitch all the best parts from
Halloween,
Zombie, and
Jaws, then shove them together on a rusty four track via the keys of a buzzy synth. The make-up effects fly straight out of an Avon gift bag and insects are everywhere.
The Curse of the Screaming Dead has met its master and
Screen Scaries didn't lie. Catch my drift?
As for the girl with the yellow bucket...I'm still trying to figure that one out.
AUDIO AND VIDEO
No disappointments. The print is slightly dirty, but bright and stable for the most part. On a related note, this extremely rare Videatrics Home Video (huh?!) release is said to be the only uncut version of
Toxic Zombies ever to appear on home video. I can't confirm, but the cheap goop sure does flow.
EXTRAS
Dirty-ass sponge not included.
FINAL THOUGHTS
The crazies are out tonight.
Toxic Zombies might catch you napping from time to time, but there's no shortage of cheap, unhinged fun. So, who's got a good Polish joke for me?
Thanks to Eric Robitaille for providing a copy of this film!