Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 30
  1. #1
    たのむよ。
    The Gentleman Scamp's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Last Online
    03-01-2017 @ 04:09 PM
    Location
    もうがまんできない!
    Posts
    9,754

    To the Homesick Englishman

    Has life in Asia ever been shit enough for you to miss England? Do you ever find yourself missing jackets and coats, Sainsbury’s and Waitrose, pubs at Christmas time, Top Gear, Have I Got News For You and Jonathan Ross?

    Is it possible that now you have your sexy little Asian girlfriend that you could handle life in the UK because at least you’ll get laid and have company?

    Have you not had enough of Thailand and do you ever consider moving back there like some of your mates have done with their Asian wives who are now happily settled in Amersham or Waterlooville or Thame or Harrow on the Hill and are learning to cook from Ainsley Harriot on the telly and are no longer jealous and moody because there are no go-go bars to go to?

    Your parents are getting on a bit, they don’t know it yet but they would love your missus and she would take care of them when they had to use a chamber pot, unlike your brothers wife who can’t even lift a finger to send an e-mail saying ‘Thanks for the special anniversary edition of our wedding video that you were up until 6am editing’.

    Are you afraid that once back you would never return or are you more afraid that ‘townies’, joy riders and wayward kids on drugs would accost you in their English street wigger dialect and happy slap you?






  2. #2
    Rhubarb, rhubarb, rhubarb
    Sir Burr's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Last Online
    16-06-2009 @ 09:54 AM
    Location
    Phuket.
    Posts
    4,668
    No, never.

  3. #3
    I am in Jail

    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Last Online
    09-07-2019 @ 02:55 AM
    Posts
    993
    There are some things you can get here & nowhere else (like going to the footie) but the minute I find a way to stay - without hassle - forever in a better country (not sure Thailand's it) I'm gone.

  4. #4
    Member
    kayo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Last Online
    14-06-2016 @ 06:06 PM
    Location
    England (ex-LOS)
    Posts
    465
    I made the mistake of returning here.

    T'was not wise. Sadly, not a lot I do is.

    Everything is laid down by law. There's little or no room for any form of open minded thinking. Conformity us the name of the game. Everything is run by femiNazi's and their favourite lackey's: the gay community.

    Oh, and in this "post 9/11" world, if you've been away for many years, and return to the UK, you're probably a terrorist threat.

  5. #5
    I am in Jail

    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Last Online
    21-01-2009 @ 09:15 PM
    Posts
    4,331
    fuck the usa. i may never go back.

  6. #6
    ding ding ding
    Spin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Last Online
    @
    Posts
    12,608
    Englands a nice place for a holiday for a month during songkran. but thats enough and then its back to this dump

  7. #7
    Part time poster
    slimboyfat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Last Online
    Yesterday @ 09:39 PM
    Location
    Singapore / Kanchanaburi
    Posts
    9,380
    I get my Jonathan Ross fix via Radio 2 internet radio.

    I miss Cornish Pasties and getting carpet slippers from my parents at Christmas.

    Those arent good enough reasons to go back though.

  8. #8
    Rhubarb, rhubarb, rhubarb
    Sir Burr's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Last Online
    16-06-2009 @ 09:54 AM
    Location
    Phuket.
    Posts
    4,668
    Quote Originally Posted by kayo View Post
    I made the mistake of returning here.

    T'was not wise. Sadly, not a lot I do is.

    Everything is laid down by law. There's little or no room for any form of open minded thinking. Conformity us the name of the game. Everything is run by femiNazi's and their favourite lackey's: the gay community.

    Oh, and in this "post 9/11" world, if you've been away for many years, and return to the UK, you're probably a terrorist threat.
    Welcome Kayo.

  9. #9
    たのむよ。
    The Gentleman Scamp's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Last Online
    03-01-2017 @ 04:09 PM
    Location
    もうがまんできない!
    Posts
    9,754
    It must be shit if you're single and used to Asia.

  10. #10
    Rhubarb, rhubarb, rhubarb
    Sir Burr's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Last Online
    16-06-2009 @ 09:54 AM
    Location
    Phuket.
    Posts
    4,668
    I always thought being single and in Asia (with plenty of money) was as good as it gets!
    Last edited by Sir Burr; 19-08-2007 at 08:00 PM.

  11. #11
    Thailand Expat terry57's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Last Online
    Yesterday @ 07:50 PM
    Posts
    26,177
    ^

    your fukin spot on there mate.

  12. #12
    Thailand Expat
    The Ghost Of The Moog's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Last Online
    26-08-2017 @ 09:53 PM
    Posts
    5,626
    UK house prices keep me away.

    Otherwise, maybe.

    I don't have the feeling that if I returned to UK that I would never come back to Thailand - I own property here, and mini-Moog is 1/2 Thai. All my furniture from Jakarta arrived in BKk yesterday so after 5 years here, as of this morning it feels more homely.


    I think that 'the fear of never coming back' is one of the psychological issues that make people stay here long after their sell-by date.

  13. #13
    I am in Jail
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Last Online
    12-09-2008 @ 02:41 PM
    Posts
    367
    Quote Originally Posted by The Gentleman Scamp View Post
    Is it possible that now you have your sexy little Asian girlfriend that you could handle life in the UK because at least you’ll get laid and have company?
    Taking one of those sexy little Asian girlfriends back home could be the beginning of the end. Fish out of water and all that. She'll no doubt pile on the pounds & have an arse & beer gut that a native farang girl would be proud of, within a year. She'll constantly complain about the weather, the crap food & the lack of Thai friends to hang out with. You'll end up pacifying her by spending a small fortune on imported Thai foodstuffs & handicrafts.

    And if that wasn't bad enough, when you get bored with her, and you surely will, it'll be a heck of a lot more difficult & expensive to replace her.

  14. #14
    Thailand Expat
    sabang's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Last Online
    04-09-2019 @ 05:06 AM
    Location
    BackinOz
    Posts
    30,807
    I'm quite glad I was born in England but frankly I have absolutely no ambition to see that place again.
    I love the Cotswolds though.

  15. #15
    The Pikey Hunter
    Gerbil's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    Roasting a Hedgehog
    Posts
    12,356
    Haven't lived there for 20 years. Visited 4 times in that period. I dread going each time and hate every second that I'm there.

    I do like UK house prices though. Invested in three properties there, two of which I have never seen in real life and all of them have at least doubled in 'real value' *and* bring in nice monthly rental fees.

    I am thinking of dumping at least one of them though as I've got a funny feeling about an imminent price slump.
    You, sir, are a God among men....
    Short Men, who aren't terribly bright....
    More like dwarves with learning disabilities....
    You are a God among Dwarves With Learning Disabilities.

  16. #16
    Member
    kayo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Last Online
    14-06-2016 @ 06:06 PM
    Location
    England (ex-LOS)
    Posts
    465
    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Burr View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by kayo View Post
    I made the mistake of returning here.

    T'was not wise. Sadly, not a lot I do is.

    Everything is laid down by law. There's little or no room for any form of open minded thinking. Conformity us the name of the game. Everything is run by femiNazi's and their favourite lackey's: the gay community.

    Oh, and in this "post 9/11" world, if you've been away for many years, and return to the UK, you're probably a terrorist threat.
    Welcome Kayo.
    Thanks, Sir Burr.

  17. #17
    I am in Jail

    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Last Online
    22-11-2011 @ 08:27 AM
    Location
    Christian Country
    Posts
    15,020
    I second that. Welcome, Kayo.

    I loved England. Lived near the Science & History Museum and the V&A. Loved all the galleries, the cafes, the little bistros, the feeling of the real nation in the old pubs, streets and buildings. Well, always had a perfumed hanky to cover my nose commuting on the tube -- got as bad as Paris. I walked alot and loved all the sights. And shopping at Sainsbury's. The Arab ladies in their burkhas and tin face masks who drenched themselves in a bottle of "Joy" were so amusing, and kept me from lingering and thinking about adding some junk food to my basket. And Fortnum & Masons! Ahhh.
    A lovely country.

  18. #18
    Part time poster
    slimboyfat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Last Online
    Yesterday @ 09:39 PM
    Location
    Singapore / Kanchanaburi
    Posts
    9,380
    ^ i am not quite sure why you associate London with England

  19. #19
    Rhubarb, rhubarb, rhubarb
    Sir Burr's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Last Online
    16-06-2009 @ 09:54 AM
    Location
    Phuket.
    Posts
    4,668
    It's a great place to visit, but, living there is a completely different matter.

  20. #20
    I am in Jail
    Mr Earl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Last Online
    19-03-2019 @ 07:37 AM
    Location
    In the Jungle of Love
    Posts
    14,778
    Quote Originally Posted by obsidian View Post
    fuck the usa. i may never go back.
    You got that right, I hate having to go back twice a year.

  21. #21
    I am in Jail

    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Last Online
    22-11-2011 @ 08:27 AM
    Location
    Christian Country
    Posts
    15,020
    Sigh. I gotta live here for now. But if I live by the sea with the orcas and sea lions, and the bears and deer come to visit, I'll be happy. But nothing can replace that Thai breeze off the sea -- it's like a loved one's velvet glove caressing your cheek.

    Alright, I gotta mop the floors now.

  22. #22
    Part time poster
    slimboyfat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Last Online
    Yesterday @ 09:39 PM
    Location
    Singapore / Kanchanaburi
    Posts
    9,380
    i have never had a loved one who owned a velvet glove. Is it nice?

    Should i purchase such a glove?

  23. #23
    Rhubarb, rhubarb, rhubarb
    Sir Burr's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Last Online
    16-06-2009 @ 09:54 AM
    Location
    Phuket.
    Posts
    4,668
    Actually, I do miss hot buttered, toasted crumpets.

  24. #24
    I am in Jail

    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Last Online
    22-11-2011 @ 08:27 AM
    Location
    Christian Country
    Posts
    15,020
    Quote Originally Posted by slimboyfat View Post
    i have never had a loved one who owned a velvet glove. Is it nice?

    Should i purchase such a glove?
    I got a box full. Send me yer address. Purple OK?

  25. #25
    Member
    Sparky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Last Online
    09-07-2010 @ 08:14 AM
    Posts
    627
    Ive not been back to the UK in four years . The only thing I miss is the horse racing on chanel 4 and having a phone bet whilst watching with a few pints in the fridge .

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •