Results 1 to 8 of 8
  1. #1
    POTUS HOCUS
    david44's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Last Online
    22-08-2019 @ 09:19 PM
    Location
    Inner Wrongholia
    Posts
    13,668

    Assortative mating

    Dating apps let us pair off by looks. That’s a disaster – as I found out
    On the internet, attractiveness blots out other romantic criteria. That’s bad news for long-term relationships

    Dating apps let us pair off by looks. That?s a disaster ? as I found out



    I discovered this to my cost seven years ago, during my relationship with my daughter’s father. When we first met in a crowded pub, our mutual physical attraction was so powerful we didn’t notice that, other than sharing a profession, we had little in common. He liked art films, foreign literary novels and playing football: I preferred Hollywood blockbusters, comic fiction and going to watch stand-up comedy. He drank wine and was a seasoned traveller; I was teetotal and had never ventured out of Europe.

    We weren’t even similar in character: he was adventurous, sporty, mentally stable and private, while I was risk-averse, sedentary, had an anxiety disorder and, as this piece would suggest, often used truths from my personal life to illustrate my journalism. When I had a major nervous breakdown, fell pregnant, put on weight, and we moved in together, our relationship broke down. We struggled along but split up before our third anniversary: we simply weren’t compatible enough to withstand serious difficulties.

    Fascinatingly, it turns out that the longer two people know each other before beginning to date, the less important beauty is, and the more likely the partners are to differ in attractiveness. In one experiment at the University of Texas in Austin, researchers asked students to rate their classmates for desirability (including non-physical attributes) at the start of term, and after knowing them for three months. While students agreed who was attractive to begin with, their ratings at the end of term differed. Over a three-month period, personality had a powerful effect.

    When looking for love, young people might do better to revert to the slower courtship rituals of past generations. After all, mutual beauty is a flimsy basis for a relationship. If, instead, a partnership is founded on shared hobbies and genuine friendship, it is more likely to be able to withstand the vicissitudes of life. Beauty always fades with time, but relationships need not fade with it.

    I don’t regret my passionate but ultimately doomed romance — without it, our wonderful, sweet and hilarious five-year-old girl would never have been created. But I can’t help but think how much better it would have been if we’d been compatible as people, and if I were now married to the father of my child.
    Last edited by david44; 20-11-2016 at 03:54 AM. Reason: Glad I grew up before the mobile app !It must put extra pressure on teens to conform to fads fashions fb nonsense
    I used to have a job at a calendar factory.
    I got the sack because
    I took a couple of days off.

  2. #2
    Thailand Expat
    wasabi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Last Online
    01-09-2019 @ 06:11 AM
    Location
    England
    Posts
    10,950
    The human race will continue to have babies regardless of how couples come together.

  3. #3
    POTUS HOCUS
    david44's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Last Online
    22-08-2019 @ 09:19 PM
    Location
    Inner Wrongholia
    Posts
    13,668
    Quote Originally Posted by wasabi
    couples come together.
    Ah yes twin peaks, the Chinese have fags and brothels called Double Hapiness 888

  4. #4
    Thailand Expat

    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Last Online
    @
    Posts
    6,269
    *Forgive me, I have a good excuse (I just woke up) but did you say you are a woman, Dave? WTF? tell me it's not true.

  5. #5
    Thailand Expat
    Sumbitch's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Last Online
    06-05-2018 @ 01:39 PM
    Location
    Chiang Mai
    Posts
    5,596
    ^ Yeah, Dick, but what's in a name?

  6. #6
    Pedantic bastard
    nidhogg's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Last Online
    @
    Posts
    14,758
    Quote Originally Posted by david44 View Post
    But I cant help but think how much better it would have been if wed been compatible as people, and if I were now married to the father of my child.


    I can't help but wonder if they would still be together is she (the author of the piece) was not a f*cked up basket case.......

  7. #7
    Thailand Expat
    VocalNeal's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Last Online
    Yesterday @ 05:29 PM
    Location
    Bangkok
    Posts
    11,248
    I read somewhere that couples who get married quickly after meeting have a better marriage survival rate that couples who have a longer pre-marriage relationship period.

    This obviously does not take into account couples who live together for long periods as if they were married. Or couples who live together and never get married.
    Better to think inside the pub, than outside the box?
    I apologize if any offence was caused. unless it was intended.
    You people, you think I know feck nothing; I tell you: I know feck all
    Those who cannot change their mind, cannot change anything.

  8. #8
    POTUS HOCUS
    david44's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Last Online
    22-08-2019 @ 09:19 PM
    Location
    Inner Wrongholia
    Posts
    13,668

    Smile

    Quote Originally Posted by NZdick1983 View Post
    *Forgive me, I have a good excuse (I just woke up) but did you say you are a woman, Dave? WTF? tell me it's not true.
    Dicky if you clicked the link it was another girl, I became a man many years ago after our rugby coach said act like men tackle like tigers, I hope , keep up your good posts

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •