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  1. #1
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    What's the stupidest way you have injured yourself?

    Humans are all capable of being brainless idiots at times, so what's the silliest way you have hurt yourself?

    As for me, curious about if a telephone line carried an electric current I simply put the phone line in my mouth. As it turns out, they do indeed carry electricity- rather well, actually.

    I also plunged my hand into a lobster tank at an aquarium in Alaska- bloody strong critters. The bruises and crush marks lasted weeks

  2. #2
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    Trying to open the battery case on an x gf vibrator with a knife and ended up stabbing myself in my inner thigh, had to go to hospital and reluctantly explain myself to a female nurse as she wanted to inform the police thinking I'd been the victim of a knife attack.

  3. #3
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    First day of a new job and a manage to drop a craft knife on my foot. Curse thin Asian faux leather to Hades. Mortified at my own apparent childlike clumsiness I simply walked around for the day while my shoe slowly filled with blood.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pregomeister
    curious about if a telephone line carried an electric current I simply put the phone line in my mouth



  5. #5
    Thailand Expat Pragmatic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pregomeister
    What's the stupidest way you have injured yourself?
    Too many for this thread. But the luckiest one I recall was as a child I was carrying a broken teacup on a saucer. I tripped and the broken cup penetrated my eyelid at the top. Luckily I never damaged my eye.

  6. #6
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    What's this thread about....................................Oh shit..........exit stage left.

  7. #7
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    Ah, childhood injuries: I got in a fight with a ram. Those animals do what they say on the tin.

  8. #8
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    As a yougster in the days before quilts and central heating, I threw off the pile of blankets and dived out of bed, not realising that a small part of my anatomy was still trapped in a part of one blanket which remained stubbornly attached to the bed.
    Cue yours truly crashing to the floor in a heap, while my now broken big toe, stayed in bed, with a chunk of blanket wrapped around it.

  9. #9
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    One way you can easily injure yourself here is more mental. Take Topper for instance, let bullshit be posted up on his site and get called out for defamation. I think he is going through a lot of pain and expense over this.

    So easy here in Thailand to file for defamation.
    Criminal Defamation
    Defamation as a criminal act in Thailand is defined by the Thai Criminal Code as a statement made by a person who imputes anything to another in a manner which is likely to impair the reputation of the latter or to expose him to hatred or contempt. Under the same Code, such person is liable for an imprisonment up to two years or he can be ordered by the court to pay a fine of 200,000 Baht or may be both.


    Be sure you can back up your allegations or be ready to be put through some hurt.


    Crazy that this can be done in the LOS.



    An example from last week. The online call girl caught fcuking anothers girls fiance gets thrown out naked and filmed by the girlfriend. It goes online and viral. Hooker sues girl friend for the naked pix.

  10. #10
    Thailand Expat Pragmatic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by aging one
    So easy here in Thailand to file for defamation.
    Don't you have to have at least 2 witnesses to open a case?

  11. #11
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    no you dont, it just has to have appeared in print or video and "caused damage". You do have to be able to prove that it appeared though.

  12. #12
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    I've crashed a couple cars. Totaled my Mother's Audio in high school.

    I got injured, but not seriously.

    Was snow skiing and was skiing backwards and fell and hurt my neck.

    Cant' think of anything else.

  13. #13
    I am in Jail

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    when I was young i climbed out the window at school then i fell and had pain in my hand for a week or 2...

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cold Pizza
    Totaled my Mother's Audio in high school.

  15. #15
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    When I was 15, I borrowed a battery charger to charge up a motorcycle battery someone gave me. I was going to use it for an electronics project.

    I charged it till night time and decided to look in at the bubbles and check the fluid level. Couldn't see in so bent over, lit a match and held it near the top.

    Naturally the mixture of hydrogen and air caused it to explode in my face with a loud bang. Rushed to the taps and no damage to anything but my nervous system and pride, despite the dilute sulphuric acid.

  16. #16
    Thailand Expat VocalNeal's Avatar
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    Never cut down with a machete

  17. #17
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    Was 4 or 5 years old. Standing on front porch enjoying -20F temp. Wondered what would happen if I licked the wrought iron railing. I did. Tongue stuck solid. I panicked. Jerked my head back leaving a sizable chunk of tongue on the rail. The first of many potential Darwin award nominations I recall.

  18. #18
    Thailand Expat AntRobertson's Avatar
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    Dropped a tub of metacil (basically a cream form of tiger balm) whilst getting changed for rugby. It hit the floor sending some of the contents flying upwards landing right on my bare, unprotected, undercarriage.

    It was many, many, laps running around the changing sheds cupping my bollocks before the burning sensation began to subside.

  19. #19
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    I once had a splash of concentrated sulphuric acid in my eye, only one drop. I held my eye and under the cold water laboratory tap for about fifteen minutes to irrigate it. Fortunately, because of my action, my eye had no long term damage but I continued my night shift with a frozen eye socket/ face which took about two hours to return to life.

  20. #20
    disturbance in the Turnip baldrick's Avatar
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    I shall not look directly at the sun with my one remaining eye

  21. #21
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    Wading knee-deep through the sea, holding a cane knife, a school of mullet swam by.
    Instinctively I slashed at one.
    A cane knife is thin and wide bladed, so it was like a rudder....a slight twist of my wrist at the speed I had wielded it, and it changed direction and drove straight into my leg.
    Home was 40 minutes walk around the coast, but the next door neighbour was about 20 minutes in the other direction, so I went there. He applied some rose apple leaf juice and a lock of hair off his boy's head to stem the blood, then rowed me home.
    Mum decided it needed stitches, so my brother had to run to the other next door neighbour about an hours walk the other way to get their motor boat to take me to the hospital on another island. 5 stitches, but very deep as it was the corner of the square end of the knife that made the cut, ie as deep as it was wide.

    That was the stupidest of many injuries.

  22. #22
    ENT
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    Worst pain I had was being doused in petrol, some running into my right ear, that was agony!

    Sluicing my ear with olive oil was the only method for reducing the pain.

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by aging one View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Cold Pizza
    Totaled my Mother's Audio in high school.
    Audi.

    Typo

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by ENT View Post
    Worst pain I had was being doused in petrol, some running into my right ear, that was agony!

    Sluicing my ear with olive oil was the only method for reducing the pain.
    I hope you decked the idiot wanker that did that to you!
    Incredibly stupid.

  25. #25
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    Mistook the jar of tiger balm for the jar of preparation H. ouch.to say the least .Was time for new reading glasses.

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