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  1. #1
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    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Winter in Little Whinging - the photo album

    Little Whinging is a sleepy little settlement in South-East England. It's the kind of place in which everybody knows everybody else's business, down to the finest detail. It was only yesterday morning that old Dorothy Hinkleford suggested I used cream E45 in order to eradicate the nasty little rash I have downstairs. I mean, how did she know about that? No one knows about that. And last week while I was picking up the turkey and giblets from Wilfred the local butcher, he asked me if I was planning on yet another year of ball-crippling masturbation - and, get this, would I be interested in attending regular Xhamster evenings in the village hall. I ask you! I said yes of course, but I ask you!

    Without any further ado, winter in Little Whinging, the photo album...

    We, the good people of Little Whinging, are duty bound to preserve the area's reptiles. Any person or persons found to be piloting their vehicles without due care and attention will be dragged by the bollocks (which will be tied to the chassis of a 1950s Daimler) into the next parish.



    Downtown Little Whinging. This is the hedonistic hub of some extremely well-attended knitting circles, no less than seven antique shops, and an omnipresent chorus of robust gossip.



    The main thoroughfare to Little Whinging. This murky lane has claimed many a outsider... Remember, you can check out of Little Whinging any time you like, but, quite tragically, you can never leave...



    The entrance to the Foggins's farmstead. It is rumoured that Frederick, the seven fingered farmer, leaves this pile of logs at the entrance to his fields as a warning. Legend has it that each log denotes a victim who he apparently bludgeoned to death with a large, steroid-reared marrow. No one really visits the Foggins's anymore.



    The village cricket square lays fallow. But come spring the dulcet tones of willow, oak and rustling packets of dried fruit permeate the air.




    A Little Whinging backstreet. This is where the hoodlums hang out. Foul language, blasphemy, and unnecessarily loud coughing have all been heard here.

    Last edited by somtamslap; 03-01-2016 at 03:20 AM.

  2. #2
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    And Doggers lane?






    Just asking for a friend

  3. #3
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    ^ I'll PM you the GPS coordinates.

    You can tell your mate that Saucy Cedric should be down there tonight.


  4. #4
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    How come Dogger's Lane didn't get the pretty little picture borders?

  5. #5
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    somtamslap's Avatar
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    Coz there ain't nothing pretty bout Doggerz lane.

  6. #6
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    I loved it but the Banstead and Bedstead Bi-monthly Bugle reported.

    "2/10 Grate effort, thank god your illiterate but we liked the drawings you have an almost photogenic touch have ever been a pro toucher up in Crayonlee?" Karen D'Ache.

    If you ever need a hand/job call our premium rate hotline

    If you like check out gals Saino's Banstead has some plump birds oddly not plucked for Christmas, Sainos Swallington is Hal-Al and katoey only since pork poker re-elected
    I used to have a job at a calendar factory.
    I got the sack because
    I took a couple of days off.

  7. #7
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    Smile

    Quote Originally Posted by kingwilly View Post
    And Doggers lane?

    Just asking for a friend
    Mr Knobcuts at the Uphill Gardening Centre's your man, I was at school barely 20 leagues hence he was known as bender in my day.I'm sure he's in Slops rollerdex

  8. #8
    Ex TD Fat Club VP Dillinger's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap
    old Dorothy Hinkleford suggested I used cream E45 in order to eradicate the nasty little rash I have downstairs. I mean, how did she know about that
    see through spandex?



    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap
    We, the good people of Little Whinging, are duty bound to preserve the area's reptiles

    Nice frame
    Is that not an amphibian?

  9. #9
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    Tis a country lane in France.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap View Post
    Cranleigh


    Sorry I mean Little Whinging ...I know it well

  11. #11
    splendid and tremendous
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    Quote Originally Posted by boloa
    Sorry I mean Little Whinging ...I know it well
    Have you been along to any of Dorothy Hinkleford's Tupperware parties?

    I'm yet to wet my feet in that world of wanton debauchery.

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dillinger
    Is that not an amphibian?
    Quote Originally Posted by Henrie
    Tis a country lane in France.
    Naw, it means "Caution - French Tourists - Pass Quickly"

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap View Post

    I'm yet to wet my feet in that world of wanton debauchery.
    UK's #1 Dogging site | Come Dogging tonight

    Follow the Dogging code

    Dogging is a fun experience but there are rules of Dogging that everyone needs to follow.

    1. Make sure you are clean

    A dirty appearance and smell is a turn-off, so if you plan on joining in with a couple, make yourself presentable

    2. Condoms

    If you've used condoms then make sure that you dispose of them in a bin and not just throw them out of your car.

    3. Flash those lights

    If you want another couple to follow you to a more secluded spot then flash your headlights once and drive to where you want to be. If they are interested then they will follow. If you want your audience to touch and interact with you then roll down your window or open the car doors.

    4. Interior lights

    A flash of the interior light means they want to be watched. A rolled down window is an invitation to get closer and maybe touch. But make sure the couple is actually dogging; they may have just dropped the keys on the floorboard or need fresh air.

    5. Keep your distance till invited.

    Don't join in unless the couple asks you to.

    6. Single guys beware

    Be appreciative but respectful. "Get your tits out" is not the way to behave.

    7. Know where you're going

    Use the Let's Go Dogging database to find the action but remember that sometimes the fun doesn't start on time and there ain't nothing pretty bout Doggerz lane.
    Big Ol' Lucky Ol' Al.

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by boloa
    A rolled down window is an invitation to get closer and maybe touch.
    What the heck ?

    I think there's more to this dogging than I realised, I thought it was all running after saucy lasses in a great yellow mac and naught else yelling out " 'ere, lookit ma willy"

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by kingwilly View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by boloa
    A rolled down window is an invitation to get closer and maybe touch.
    What the heck ?

    I think there's more to this dogging than I realised, I thought it was all running after saucy lasses in a great yellow mac and naught else yelling out " 'ere, lookit ma willy"
    Nope, that's all there is to it, carry on as you were.

    Looks wet and cold and soggy.

  16. #16
    Thailand Expat klong toey's Avatar
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    I see a ride via Sheep Shaggers lane was taken,please note victims identity has been masked.


  17. #17
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    Good skills, KT!

    Where the feck have you been?

  18. #18
    Thailand Expat klong toey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap View Post
    Good skills, KT!

    Where the feck have you been?
    I bet Gert 100 baht i could go 24 hrs without alcohol.
    Taken my system nearly 2 months to recover from the shock, a day without booze is not recommended even for a 100 baht.

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