Should the world be made flat again?

[Neverna]

Should the world be made flat again?

I mean, it was believed to be flat before, before PC scientists came along and spoiled the party, so why not change it back again?

We could start by making people believe it is flat by pay some scientists to do some research and making sure the conclusions fit our narrative. [Scientific people convinced] Then we could find some ancient text and tell people it has some kind of hidden meaning about the earth being flat. [Religious people convinced]. Then we could pay Rupert Murdoch to lay it on thick in his newspapers and on his TV channels [everybody else convinced].

After that, we could go about actually flattening the earth. We are humans and some of us are advanced intellectually (I speak generally and not personally). Some countries are very advanced technologically so the USA could start flattening the earth first. Then the UK, then Australia, New Zealand and Canada. Russia and China will probably follow suit. After that, it won't matter too much as the football shaped earth will be gone and a rugby shaped earth will be noticeable from space.

After a few decades of flattening, we will have achieved a truly flat earth and all those old text books from days gone by can be re-used in schools (saving heaps of money that can be used to repay the costs of flattening).

Anyway, that's my proposal. Waddaya think? Can you foresee any problems?





NB: This is in the Lounge, not Speakers. It's a bit of fun. All opinions welcome.

[Pragmatic]

Some countries are very advanced technologically so the USA could start flattening the earth first.

I thought they'd already started that by bombing everyone?

[Neverna]

That's a good point, Pragmatic. Leaders, they are, world leaders.





I wonder if this topic has been discussed on californiaredwooddoor.com.

[snakeeyes]

We'll all fall off the edge ,

[Neverna]

We'll all fall off the edge ,

We could put a bevel on it, snakeeyes.

And anyway, planes don't fall off of cliff edges, do they? No sir. They keep flying!

[Gazza]

We'll all fall off the edge ,

Ahhhh, but there'd still be gravity. So you wouldn't fall off the edge but would end up walking on the underside of the earth.

[snakeeyes]

^
So we will all be like the Aussies living down under ,

[Looper]

The earth is flat.

The results of the Planck mission to investigate various things including the cosmological curvature parameter of the universe which determines if the universe is flat or positively curved (analogous to a sphere) or negatively curved (analogous to a saddle) were released in 2015 and show the value to be 0.000±0.005 which yields a flat universe.

The earth is part of a flat universe so the earth is flat.

[DrB0b]

Illuvatar created the curved world after the fall of Numenor so that the arrogance of Men would never again tempt them to assail Valinor.

[Looper]

^men can be arrogant cvnts at times. That Illuvatar bloke sounds like he was on the money.

[thaimeme]

...and we haven't even touched upon the "Hollow Earth" theory as of yet.

[Hans Mann]

Should the world be made flat again?

Okay, I'll give it a try. How thick you want it?

[Mr Earl]

I like the idea of a flat earth; easier cycling!

Though I suppose we'd have to adjust the Copernicus theory for spinning pancakes.

[david44]

Plateau awry will get you anywhere

Alas the flats have been turned into appartments owned by straights throwing a curve to keep the flat capped cycling to iron out the wrinkles.

[Neverna]

...and we haven't even touched upon the "Hollow Earth" theory as of yet.

Will that be a problem, Jeff? Will the crust be strong enough to take flattening? Or will we need to fill it in with soil or toffee first?

[Neverna]

The earth is flat.

The results of the Planck mission to investigate various things including the cosmological curvature parameter of the universe which determines if the universe is flat or positively curved (analogous to a sphere) or negatively curved (analogous to a saddle) were released in 2015 and show the value to be 0.000±0.005 which yields a flat universe.

The earth is part of a flat universe so the earth is flat.

That's good to hear, Looper.

Now I have to wonder why it's not widely known. Is there a conspiracy to keep this from the masses? A conspiracy of silence on the issue? We need Pseudolus or Dapper on the case!

[VocalNeal]

Illuvatar created the curved world after the fall of Numenor so that the arrogance of Men would never again tempt them to assail Valinor.

The problem would seem to be that if the earth is flat how can there be a middle earth? Centre earth maybe but no middle.

[Neverna]

OK then, so we do away with middle earth. We can call it centre earth, or the "filling", or some other nice sounding name.

Any other potential issues that need to be addressed?

[nidhogg]

Illuvatar created the curved world after the fall of Numenor so that the arrogance of Men would never again tempt them to assail Valinor.

[NZdick1983]

I get all my latest Scientific news from TD... that be why I'm so smart.

[david44]

Would this help,I believe Terry's had it serviced

[Troy]

Yes, make the world flat again and this time make the land from Stilton cheese and the rivers a nice ruby port.

[Looper]

That's good to hear, Looper.

Now I have to wonder why it's not widely known. Is there a conspiracy to keep this from the masses? A conspiracy of silence on the issue? We need Pseudolus or Dapper on the case!

I don't think it is a secret but Dapper can give us the good oil as Pseudo seems to be on hiatus.

[thaimeme]

Continental drift...and ever changing topography??

[Mr Earl]

Yes, make the world flat again and this time make the land from Stilton cheese and the rivers a nice ruby port.

We could put some Stilton cheese on the Copernicus pancake, yummy yummy!