Naive things we imagined as kids (or maybe as grown-ups)

**Thaimato** · 07-12-2015, 07:21 PM

Was sitting on the shitter and remembered how friggin' naive I was, as a small kid. I thought all 'film stars' (as they were then called) were at least 20 feet tall after being taken to the local cinema. Well, they were huge on the screen, weren't they ....

Too, I was told that the Queen and royal family were very rich and very special people. By that, I reckoned they didn't piss or shit - and the babies they had must've come from other people in the slightly lower ranks, as the royals surely didn't have babies like 'normal' people.

When I first saw my little sister without clothes on, I bust out crying - as 'somebody had cut her willy off'!

The first time I had a wank, some stuff came out of my nob and I thought "Farkin'
'ell, I'm leaking and I'm gonna die!".

Stoopid stuff, really - but I don't doubt others have similar memories...

**roger77** · 07-12-2015, 07:38 PM

when I was in primary school, we were told that the queen doesnt go to the toilet.

**thaimeme** · 07-12-2015, 07:46 PM

Nothing changes much, really, from childhood to maturity -

Truly applies to particular cultures and classes.

**nidhogg** · 07-12-2015, 08:03 PM

^

**Pragmatic** · 07-12-2015, 08:36 PM

As child I thought Sherlock Holmes was a block of flats and Sheffield Wednesday was a public holiday.

**dirk diggler** · 07-12-2015, 09:36 PM

I believed that the ice cream van played it's music to tell everyone it had run out of ice cream, but still had fags and booze.

**patsycat** · 08-12-2015, 04:57 AM

I didn't eat the seeds in tomatoes for years because my evil big brother told me that a plant would grow in my tummy and come out of my mouth.

**kmart** · 08-12-2015, 10:20 AM

^Similar. Someone once told me that the black bits in bananas were Tarantula's eggs.

**Cujo** · 08-12-2015, 10:40 AM

I used to believe singers you heard on the radio had to pay to sing on the radio.

**Munted** · 08-12-2015, 03:44 PM

Eat an egg with blood in it and you will die!
The first woman I fingered I thought had pissed herself. Told her to get herself off to the toilet.

**Dragonfly94** · 08-12-2015, 04:54 PM

I thought only our town had a Woolworths

**thaimeme** · 08-12-2015, 06:17 PM

Originally Posted by Cujo

I used to believe singers you heard on the radio had to pay to sing on the radio.

This might be closer to reality today...

**Iceman123** · 08-12-2015, 07:01 PM

Originally Posted by thaimeme

This might be closer to reality today...

Have you ever been close to reality Jeff? Even remotely?

**patsycat** · 08-12-2015, 11:17 PM

My mother told me only ladies who had had babies could use tampons!!!

**patsycat** · 08-12-2015, 11:24 PM

Originally Posted by Munted

Eat an egg with blood in it and you will die!
The first woman I fingered I thought had pissed herself. Told her to get herself off to the toilet.

I had a boyfriend when i was 18, he was 21. I was on my period and went to pee. He reminded me to remove the tampon.

He thought we peed and bled out of the same place!!

sorry about the tampon recollections!! Some of them are hilarious!!

Cod liver oil and malt extract - make you big and strong. I still taste that yuck in the back of my mind.

**Seekingasylum** · 08-12-2015, 11:35 PM

I used to think when it rained, it rained all over the world at the same time - now I know it does.

Jeff used to think when he hugged a tree without wearing gloves it would sprout new buds - now he goes bareback and the leaves drop off.

**Munted** · 09-12-2015, 03:14 AM

Originally Posted by patsycat

He thought we peed and bled out of the same place!!

I used to think the peeing had to be done some way but wasn't too sure how. And I wondered for years why women can't stand and pee. (Until I found on a porn site that some can!).

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