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Thread: Luimneach

  1. #1
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    Smile Luimneach

    There once was a plumber from Leigh,
    Who was plumbing his maid by the sea,
    Said she, "Please stop plumbing,
    I think someone's coming!"
    Said he, "Yes I know love, it's me."

  2. #2
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    There was a young girl named Sapphire,
    who succumbed to her lover’s desire,
    she said “It’s a sin,
    but now that it’s in,
    could you shove it a few inches higher?”

  3. #3
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    There was a young girl from Hong Kong,
    whose cervical cap was a gong,
    she said with a yell,
    as a shot rang her bell,
    Ill give you a ding for a dong!

  4. #4
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    There once was a girl named McGill
    Who used dynamite sticks for a thrill
    They found her vagina
    In South Carolina
    And bits of her tits in Brazil

  5. #5
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    There was a young man from Brighton
    Who thought he'd at last found a tight 'un.
    He said, "Oh my love,
    It fits like a glove."
    Said she, "But you're not in the right 'un."

  6. #6
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    There was a young girl named Ann Heuser
    Who swore that no man could surprise her.
    But Pabst took a chance,
    Found a Schlitz in her pants,
    And now she is sadder Budweiser

  7. #7
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    I have been on dozens of larks;
    I like it indoors, not in parks.
    You feel more at ease,
    Your ass doesn't freeze;
    And strollers don't make snide remarks.

  8. #8
    aww
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    There was a mortician from fife
    Caught making love to his poor deceased wife
    He said to the judge "She was cold, didn't budge".
    "Much the same as she had been in life."

  9. #9
    R.I.P.
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    There was a young lady from Wear
    Who was never able to rhyme
    It wasn't important
    Because in the end
    Her tits were really quite nice

  10. #10
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    a flea and a fly in a flue
    were imprisoned, so what could they do?
    said the fly, let us flee,
    let us fly, said the flea.
    so they flew through a flaw in the flue.

  11. #11
    Neo
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    Quote Originally Posted by david44 View Post
    There once was a girl named McGill
    Who used dynamite sticks for a thrill
    They found her vagina
    In South Carolina
    And bits of her tits in Brazil

  12. #12
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    There was a young man from Kent
    Had Peronis and his penis was bent
    To keep out of trouble
    He put it in double
    And 'stead of coming he went.

  13. #13
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    I went to the cinema tomorrow
    I got a front seat at the back
    A lady gave me a biscuit
    I ate it and gave her it back

    I walked around the crooked street corner
    I saw a dead donkey alive
    So I took out my penknife and shot it
    Now the poor thing is alive

  14. #14
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    Haiku is exceedingly fastened
    Consumed trends to contradict
    Controllable unorthodoxy

  15. #15
    Neo
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    I'm a big fan of the lesbian haiku genre

  16. #16
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    Things ain't what always they seem
    The risks of the shaggy pipedream
    Over indulging on homebrew
    May seem head of the hi queue
    Or just Mid Stream Thaimeme

  17. #17
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    There was a young lady from Phichit
    Whom had the urgency to itch it
    Tight was her muff
    And hadn't had enough
    So I pleased her to calm the nit

  18. #18
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    There was a young gal name of Sally
    Who loved an occasional dally.
    She sat on the lap
    Of a well-endowed chap
    Crying, "Gee, Dick, you're right up my alley

  19. #19
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    I met a young girl from Sa Kaew
    She gobbled my cock oh so well
    She was only nineteen when I filled her with cream
    How I miss that young girl from Sa Kaew

  20. #20
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    There once was a barmaid named Gale
    On whose breasts was the menu for ale
    But since she was kind
    For the sake of the blind
    On her ass it was printed in Braille

  21. #21
    Custom user Neverna's Avatar
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    A broken-down felcher named Snubbs
    Was heard to confess in some pubs
    "The height of my folly
    Was shagging a collie
    But I got a nice price for the pups".

  22. #22
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    Jack and Jill went up the hill
    so Jack could lick Jill’s candy,
    Jack got a shock
    and a mouthful of cock,
    ’cause Jill’s name was Randy.

  23. #23
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    There once was a hermit named Dave,
    who found a dead whore in a cave.
    She was missing a tit,
    and she stunk a bit,
    but think of the money he'd save

  24. #24
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    there was a poster from newcastle
    who recieved a little brown parcel
    in it was shit
    and on it was writ'
    its a present from some fucking arsehole

  25. #25
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    Went to the top floor at Nana
    Met a sweet maiden from Tak
    She offered me a 'job
    For just a few bob
    I accepted but didn't give Him one back.

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