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Thread: Monsters

  1. #1
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    Monsters

    Lily look away.

    That Osborne brat has got me thinking about some of the stinkers that I have boned in my life. Being a bit of an ugly fucker up until a few years back I only had the choice of mingers.

    So where to begin.

    Not sure where she came from but I managed to pickup up a girl at a party 8am in the morning. I spilt my drink on her and she needed a change of t-shirt so I gave her my hoody to wear and she got changed.

    However it came about I took her back to my house to get my hoody back. She insisted on staying so I insisted on sending her to the pharmacy that had just opened to buy a 12 pack of jonnies to makes sure things were safe ( I paid though so I was being a gentleman) she actually came back with them and it was nearly a mile there and back.

    This woman whom I can't remember the name of or anything about her now stayed for a week. She never went out. Just smoked green, and bashed some marching powder. I would go out and come back and she was there waiting. My flat mate started to get a bit scared by this but we put up with it for a week and I got a blowjob every time I came back into the house.

    Eventually after a week she just got up and said she was going and not to call her (didn't have her number or last name)

    Nearly a year later my mates were moving out when they handed me a large black t-shirt and said it was mine. I was sure it wasn't and they found this hysterical until the pointed out that it was the girls who had lived with me for a week. The t-shirt was too large on me. Fuck knows how big she had been. I can't remember. I didn't think she was a whale sized but looks like she was.

  2. #2
    I don't know barbaro's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mrsquirrel View Post
    Lily look away.

    That Osborne brat has got me thinking about some of the stinkers that I have boned in my life. Being a bit of an ugly fucker up until a few years back I only had the choice of mingers.

    So where to begin.
    Pics please!

  3. #3
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    You're British, right?

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    I am in Jail

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    you cant remember a week?

  5. #5
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    no I have a few rather large 'blanks' in my life.

    I can't really remember much of 1999-2002 - bits and pieces of information surface from my memory banks every so often. Been a marked improvement since I stopped drinking as well.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by mrsquirrel
    Being a bit of an ugly fucker up until a few years back I only had the choice of mingers.
    What, until you came to Thailand and became a 'hansum man'?

    Do you realise that there are girls in Scotland who are probably at this very moment saying 'Remember that ugly dickhead Squirrel, that I took home one night when I was pissed?'

  7. #7
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    I was fat and ugly

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    No pics?

    Don't be shy, squirrel, it's a mature audience in here.

  9. #9
    Tonguin for a beer
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    I shagged this monster of a woman once at a beach party. She was literally begging me and as it was about 5am was drunk enough to comply.

    So off we went down the beach a bit and got to it. Trouble was it was getting light and all the exertion had sobered me up a bit. In the dim light of dawn emerged a massive figure beneath me and I couldn't get the notion of a "beached whale" out of my head.

    Also her name was Olive and kept thinking of that minger from the tv show "On the Buses" from the seventies.

    All of this was making it increasingly difficult to get the job done but I finally managed to finish and run away to hide for the rest of the day and give my mates some time to forget about it.

    Truly horrible.
    Last edited by Bung; 06-07-2007 at 03:41 PM.
    Fahn Cahn's

  10. #10
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    i've never banged a minger in my life!

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    I've had a few, couldn't shake them off in the wee hours.
    Even made it clear they could stay with me (since purportedly they couldn't get back home to their place), but nothing else.
    Well, of course once someone starts fumbling me in the dark...

  12. #12
    Tonguin for a beer
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    Quote Originally Posted by mrT
    i've never banged a minger in my life!
    Bit like saying you've never had a wank.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bung View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by mrT
    i've never banged a minger in my life!
    Bit like saying you've never had a wank.
    Well I've had a few of those,but I can put hand on heart and say that I have never rooted a minger.Been turned down by a few though......

  14. #14
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    I nearly had one once, but luckily my 'little-head' wised up and refused to perform.

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    I've had a few.
    The Aussie/Israeli minger I banged in Batu Feringhi, Penang many years ago (basically 'cus I'd locked myself out of my room, no spare key til the next day) turned out to be less of a conquest than I thought. It was one thing that she was flabby and had tits like empty flour sacks. It was another thing when I found out two days later she'd been banged by two local beach boys a few hours before our tryst, the candid photos taken rather proved the case.
    probes Aliens

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bung
    Bit like saying you've never had a wank.
    A what?

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by buad hai View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Bung
    Bit like saying you've never had a wank.
    A what?
    Interfering with yourself,flying a kite,feeding the chooks..etc,etc...

  18. #18
    Rhubarb, rhubarb, rhubarb
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    Pounding the bishop.
    Strangling the chook.
    Stroking the pink porpoise.
    A date with Mrs Hand and her five lovely daughters.
    Pulling your pud.
    Having a toss.
    Having a Barclays.

  19. #19
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    OK, what's a minger?

  20. #20
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    Noun: minger
    Usage: Brit
    1. (slang) a physically undesirable, smelly, or ugly person
      "It wasn't 'til we woke, the next morning, that I realised quite what a minger she was. I left pretty damn sharpish before she asked for my phone"
    Derived forms: mingers

  21. #21
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    Thank you, LC. Is it pronounced minjer or ming er? Is it for either sex?

  22. #22
    Rhubarb, rhubarb, rhubarb
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    Ming er.
    Don't know for sure, but, I would guess women could use it too.

  23. #23
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    Something is missing in this thread......PHOTOS

    Someone should go out and intentionally hook with a monster just for the photo sake of it

    I know that short time bar thread has many fine examples of monsters. This thread and that one should be joined.

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by cali kid
    Someone should go out and intentionally hook with a monster just for the photo sake of it
    Off you go then.

  25. #25
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    Something like this would find it difficult to find a lifes partner.


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