Lily look away.
That Osborne brat has got me thinking about some of the stinkers that I have boned in my life. Being a bit of an ugly fucker up until a few years back I only had the choice of mingers.
So where to begin.
Not sure where she came from but I managed to pickup up a girl at a party 8am in the morning. I spilt my drink on her and she needed a change of t-shirt so I gave her my hoody to wear and she got changed.
However it came about I took her back to my house to get my hoody back. She insisted on staying so I insisted on sending her to the pharmacy that had just opened to buy a 12 pack of jonnies to makes sure things were safe ( I paid though so I was being a gentleman) she actually came back with them and it was nearly a mile there and back.
This woman whom I can't remember the name of or anything about her now stayed for a week. She never went out. Just smoked green, and bashed some marching powder. I would go out and come back and she was there waiting. My flat mate started to get a bit scared by this but we put up with it for a week and I got a blowjob every time I came back into the house.
Eventually after a week she just got up and said she was going and not to call her (didn't have her number or last name)
Nearly a year later my mates were moving out when they handed me a large black t-shirt and said it was mine. I was sure it wasn't and they found this hysterical until the pointed out that it was the girls who had lived with me for a week. The t-shirt was too large on me. Fuck knows how big she had been. I can't remember. I didn't think she was a whale sized but looks like she was.