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  1. #1
    たのむよ。
    The Gentleman Scamp's Avatar
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    Angry Me V Tiger Airlines

    POSTED LIVE FROM PACIFIC COFFEE INTERNET TERMINAL
    CHANGI AIRPORT TERMINAL 2
    11:12PM

    Dear Tony whatever,

    Your airline is fucking crap and I suggest that instead of boasting in your inflight rag about how your beloved Tiger Airlines is branching out into Australia and boring us with how many planes you now have compared to 2003 under a photo of your gormless mug, you might wish to make some improvements.

    Must admit the plane was ok, nice and new - nice livery (especially the tail) until I wanted to recline and get some sleep on the 3hr 10 minute flight from Clark. I assume it was your idea to make the seats non reclining but have the button on the side of the armrest anyway so I spend the first 5 minutes of the flight pushing my back against the seat with the button depressed. I also thought it was a bit paranoid your company insisting mobile phones were switched off before leaving the departure lounge.

    The in flight food option was seafood with rice and ratatouille which wasn't too bad, I actually had two at a cost of 6 dollars you smug tight arse.

    I arrived at the budget terminal at Singapore 45 minutes late because, I forgot to mention, the flight was delayed - but I didn't mind because it simply meant I now had 8hrs and 15 minutes instead of 9 hrs to hang around with absolutely nothing to do except count the bottles of Chivas in the duty free.

    Then to my horror I notice my two cases emerging on the belt, the ones I had to pay 2000 pesos excess weight tax on (which I will now have to pay again on the next flight). I would have thought it wouldn't have been too much to assume that I wouldn't see my bags again until Bangkok, just as well I saw them - and fuck hanging around at the budget terminal, I got the bus to the T2 carpark where after a few warning rumbles and hot, fragile farts a hot spike of pressure hit my lower abdomen almost crippling me with pain and I had to do 'the penguin' to the nearest toilet facility.

    Of course I had to take the trolley with me with my 2 cases, backpack and laptop and almost made it to the disabled cubicle but didn't and subsequently soiled myself as I was trying to lock the door, though 'soil' isn't the word - more of a bolognese bomb you smug, millionaire git.

    I will leave the next few minutes to your imagination, or you can eat one of your seafood and ratatouille efforts and experience it for yourself.

    The supermarket shut just as I wanted to buy a drink, I can't get to the free cinema, sleep lounges and beyond because I'm not departing from this terminal, I can't light a cigarette because your staff confescated my lighter at Clark and one of your staff, like most Singaporeans - a lesbian, a Tamil one I think, told me I could use the facilities here which was bullshit. If I see her later on I will give her what for if she's still on shift and not changing into her dungarees and making sure her lips are the same colour as her face.

    Sort your airline out before bragging about how good it is because it's not good and I'm going to post this letter on www.teakdoor.com so all these expats I have never met but associate with online can see.

    Sincerely,

    The Gentleman Scamp


    11:29PM - Only 7 fucking hours to go.
    Last edited by The Gentleman Scamp; 26-05-2007 at 10:52 PM.

  2. #2
    Thailand Expat
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    obvious innit!

  3. #3
    Thailand Expat
    Little Chuchok's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Gentleman Scamp View Post

    I got the bus to the T2 carpark where after a few warning rumbles and hot, fragile farts a hot spike of pressure hit my lower abdomen almost crippling me with pain and I had to do 'the penguin' to the nearest toilet facility.

    Of course I had to take the trolley with me with my 2 cases, backpack and laptop and almost made it to the disabled cubicle but didn't and subsequently soiled myself as I was trying to lock the door, though 'soil' isn't the word - more of a bolognese bomb you smug, millionaire git.
    nothing worse than 'doing the penguin' at an airport.Still funny tho....

  4. #4
    たのむよ。
    The Gentleman Scamp's Avatar
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    I'm sorry kingwillyhggtb? ..I'm not sure I follow.

  5. #5
    I am in Jail
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    Ever wondered why it's called a "budget" airline?

  6. #6
    たのむよ。
    The Gentleman Scamp's Avatar
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    ^ Yeah, I wanted to fly 1st class but all the seats were the same, besides, it was the only way to get to Bangers without having to go to Manila - a place I still haven't seen and have no desire too. I will have to spend my emergency 1,000 Hong Kong on the baggage levy - just hope there's some cash in my Thai ATM or I will have to hitchike to Sukhumvit from 'Soovanapoom' tomorrow morning.

    I lent 50,000 baht to a girl I know in Samui last year and she said she'd pay me back so hopefully I can meet up with her tomorrow, if not I'll have to dip into my nest egg.

  7. #7
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    stroller answered it for me!

    methinks manilla airport on a regular airline might have been the better option now, no?

  8. #8
    I am in Jail
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    She could have paid the money into your account, of course.

  9. #9
    たのむよ。
    The Gentleman Scamp's Avatar
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    ^ She said she'd rather give it to me in person.

    If I don't get it back then it will be the first and last time I will ever help out a Thai, but you have to trust people sometimes. She's been a good mate over the years and wants me to come to her wedding at the end of the month which is half the reason I'm coming over. I'll be very surprised if I don't get it, not to mention dissapointed.

    Anyway Stroll, you up for a beer with our Belgian buddy and the birthday girl again next week?

    ...And shall we invite Booners?

  10. #10
    I am in Jail
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    Not sure yet when I'll be in Bkk, prolly end of next week.

  11. #11
    たのむよ。
    The Gentleman Scamp's Avatar
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    Ok, jeez you change your avatar more than I do.

    Well it's 12:30am now and the rumbly tumbly has started again, I need to find a bathroom and I could do with a muffin or something.

  12. #12
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    Marmite the Dog's Avatar
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    I'm still waiting for AirAsia to do direct flights to Clark from Bangkok.

  13. #13
    たのむよ。
    The Gentleman Scamp's Avatar
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    ^ I saw one take off from Clark today, it had red and white livery with the words Air Asia on the side of it. It also looked like it was it's third or fourth paint job. I think it was going to KL.

  14. #14
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    Marmite the Dog's Avatar
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    ^ That ain't Bangkok then, is it?

  15. #15
    たのむよ。
    The Gentleman Scamp's Avatar
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    ^ No.

    ...Not yet.

  16. #16
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    I have flown budget airlines, especially AirAsia, seemed Ok

    I have never flown Tiger though, or Penguin

  17. #17
    たのむよ。
    The Gentleman Scamp's Avatar
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    01:03 am

    Muffins overpriced, a group of Singaporean lesbians socializing with some Asian men with glasses on. Farang girl on the computer to my left who I acnowledged earlier with one of those looks of acknowledgement that you give a fellow farang sometimes by smiling weakly and raising your eyebrows. She was too posh to return it, as if she was afraid I may start a conversation and ask her out to dinner or something, but no I was simply being polite.

    I am very tired and I have an itchy nipsy so will go find a WC and apply cooling talc. I eventually found some in San Fernando a few days ago, only took me two fucking months.

    I fancy a cigarette but on a hungry stomach and having just finished a bottle of water it will taste foul.

    I miss my Fillipina woman, TD isn't the same without her laughing by my side.

  18. #18
    befuddled
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    I flew NOK once and it was okay - A bit strange to see the hostesses selling sandwiches, but no big deal as the catering on an hour flight isn't my main concern. Strangely they were also selling inflatable mutant airplane/birds with NOK livery....Maybe they were the life jackets....
    Back off Margaret, you're on a sugar rush!

  19. #19
    たのむよ。
    The Gentleman Scamp's Avatar
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    I agree Danbo, Nok is a nice little dom airline. I went to Udon Thani a few years ago with them. For those who don't know the livery is bird like, their planes have beaks.

    We should be posting pictures, I can't because I'm on a public computer and it says PLEASE LIMIT YOUR TIME TO 15 MINUTES.

    I got a muffin and it's not bad, then again it was 3 dollars.

  20. #20
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    Marmite the Dog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by danbo
    I flew NOK once and it was okay
    I prefer Nok to the parent airline (Thai). The hostesses are more fun than their stuck-up counterparts.

  21. #21
    たのむよ。
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    In that department I must nominate Easyjet in the UK. They say funny things over the intercom and get all the passengers to do a Mexican wave when there's turbulence.

    I guess it makes up for their horrid orange and grey uniforms.

  22. #22
    befuddled
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Gentleman Scamp View Post
    get all the passengers to do a Mexican wave when there's turbulence.
    Brilliant

  23. #23
    たのむよ。
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    This thread is mainly about stopovers, hanging around in transit etc... Low cost airlines was just a sub topic.

    It's time like these that TD really comes into its own.

  24. #24
    たのむよ。
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    01:37 am

    TOILET EMERGENCY!

  25. #25
    watterinja
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Gentleman Scamp View Post
    ^ She said she'd rather give it to me in person.

    If I don't get it back then it will be the first and last time I will ever help out a Thai, but you have to trust people sometimes. She's been a good mate over the years and wants me to come to her wedding at the end of the month which is half the reason I'm coming over. I'll be very surprised if I don't get it, not to mention dissapointed.

    Anyway Stroll, you up for a beer with our Belgian buddy and the birthday girl again next week?

    ...And shall we invite Booners?
    Whatever happened to your belooved Sandra?

    You are a very accomplished troll, GS.

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