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  1. #1
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    dirk diggler's Avatar
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    No Buckfast for Independent Scotland

    That's it, they've gone too far this time. The gloves are off. There shall be no Whisky in England!

    Scots can’t leave UK and keep Buckfast Tonic Wine says Chancellor


    Hands off, Scotland. This is England’s precious.

    Though only six days have passed since David Cameron attempted to love bomb Scotland into voting against independence in the forthcoming referendum saying he couldn’t bear to see the “the most extraordinary country in history” torn apart, the government has now ditched the nice approach and gone for the jugular saying that Buckfast Tonic Wine would not be exported to an independent Scotland.

    In a petulant speech given in Edinburgh this morning George Osborne said: “The stakes couldn’t be higher or the choice clearer. The certainty and syrupy high of Bucky or the uncertainty and risk of brewing your own. At the very heart of this choice is the bottle on your shelf and the very real prospect of having to drink 20/20 instead.”

    In a curiously blank tone, which witnesses described as being reminiscent of that of the villain from Se7en, the Chancellor called the idea of a Scotland without Buckfast Tonic Wine “patently absurd” before making it clear that it will become a reality if Scotland becomes independent.

    “I don’t have a vote on 18th September,” Osborne said. “But I know where I stand. Buckfast Tonic Wine is one of the oldest and most successful wines in the world. I want Scotland to keep it and the near coma-like oblivion it brings.”

    He also said some stuff about the pound but that has already been widely debunked as sensationalist scaremongering with no actual connection to reality. However it is rumoured that Osborne’s other threat, that of ensuring that Doctor Who would never be broadcast in an independent Scotland, is being taken very seriously by senior figures in the SNP.
    Scots can’t leave UK and keep Buckfast Tonic Wine says Chancellor | The Evening Harold

  2. #2
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    Buckfast has become associated with anti-social behaviour in Scotland and has entered the popular lexicon with nicknames such as "Wreck the Hoose Juice", "Commotion Lotion",
    !!!!!

  3. #3
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    Sells it'self doesn't it?

  4. #4
    I am in Jail

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    I started brewing my own years ago but I add an aphrodisiac as an extra
    ingredient and call it '' Fuckblast ''

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by jamiejambos
    I started brewing my own years ago but I add an aphrodisiac as an extra ingredient and call it '' Fuckblast ''
    Fanny Burns.

  6. #6
    I am in Jail

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    More like friction burns but i'm not boasting.

  7. #7
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  8. #8
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    Never bloody heard of it. Is it any good? Is this a joke ? I would imagine that the English are more concerned about the su[ply of very fine whiskey being cut off.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sailing into trouble
    Is this a joke ?



    Quote Originally Posted by Sailing into trouble
    Is it any good?
    Debatable. Each bottle has a number from 1 to 30 on the bottom of the glass bottle which apparently identifies the tank it came from in Buckfast Abbey, produced my the Benedictine Monks.

    For this reason each has a slightly different level of sour to sweet to full on bowff.

    They stomp around in the tanks to mush up the grapes and for this reason the last scoof (no need for a wine glass here) is regarded as the 'tae (toe) nails'.

    I like it chilled, straight from the fridge.

    It is a tonic wine, this does not suggest medicinal properties.

    Gets you pissed from the feet up, once it reaches your head you're completely numb and ready to fight.

    Upon completion you must smash the bottle before opening the next.
    Lang may yer lum reek...

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by dirk diggler
    Gets you pissed from the feet up, once it reaches your head you're completely numb and ready to fight.
    This is the best advertisement for booze I have ever heard!!! priceless.

  11. #11
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    Monks reject Buckfast wine link to crime in Scotland

    Monks at a Devon abbey have defended a fortified wine they produce after it was linked to crime by police in Scotland.
    Buckfast Tonic Wine was mentioned in 5,638 crime reports from 2006 to 2009, Strathclyde Police said.
    One in 10 of those offences were violent and the bottle was used as a weapon 114 times in that period.

    BBC News - Monks reject Buckfast wine link to crime in Scotland
    Every Buckie needs good neighbours

    WHAT the XXXX! Aussie drinkers are ditching their tinnies and going wild for BUCKFAST.
    Producers of the controversial tonic wine are shipping a whopping 20,000 bottles at a time Down Under thanks to a surge in demand.

    Buckfast producers increase exports to Australia | The Sun |News|Scottish News

  12. #12
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    Buckfast Shuffle - YouTube
    buckfast shuffle

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by reinvented
    Buckfast Shuffle - YouTube
    buckfast shuffle
    Aw bless him

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