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  1. #1
    I am in Jail

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    The Night Burdon Got Muzzled, Manacled and Molested

    It was a dark and stormy night. I was relaxing with a glass of Pinot Grigio and a cheroot under the awning of a pub's terrace on Sukhomvit Soi Teak, when I heard an English-Thai, male-female shouting match nearby. The man was screaming "you c**, I not pay for sex, I pay for nothing for Thai wh**." That was when...

  2. #2
    Member Pimp of the LOS's Avatar
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    ....Jet Jorgon woke up to something hairy and hot slapping her chin and a voice saying "you can kiss the baby"...next, it started raining and.....
    Last edited by Pimp of the LOS; 06-05-2007 at 11:25 AM.

  3. #3
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    Jet started to remember last night's event, when she was out on Suk rd. on her customary saturday fun, dressed in a tight black leather suit, and with her handcuffs and whip close at hand, looking for a suitable young farang male to have her way with...
    Last edited by stroller; 06-05-2007 at 09:02 AM.

  4. #4
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    Begbie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jet Gorgon View Post
    It was a dark and stormy night. I was relaxing with a glass of Pinot Grigio and a cheroot under the awning of a pub's terrace on Sukhomvit Soi Teak, when I heard an English-Thai, male-female shouting match nearby. The man was screaming "you c**, I not pay for sex, I pay for nothing for Thai wh**." That was when...

    A young debonair chap, clad in designer sunshades and reeking of eau d'brut came mincing by. "Hello folks" said burdon, "what seems to be the problem ?".

    There was a moment of silence before the male protaganist shot back in a strong mancunian accent "why don't you..." etc

  5. #5
    Thailand Expat
    Little Chuchok's Avatar
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    get a haircut Lad,half price at the moment and my ladyboy wife will do some colouring for free.

    Both Jet and the brut smelling chap were slightly bemused, as this offer certainly came out of left field.

    Little Nok who was at the center of the screaming match also fell silent.She tilted her chin in the air and said under her breath "Well dats da only ding flee alound here"...

  6. #6
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    and unbeknowest to them, in a dim shady room above a seedy bar a story was being played out yet again, a fella, known only as Smeg, was killing yet another girlfriend in a sick game of sexual perversions and

  7. #7
    I am in Jail

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    ...brandon swaggered in and threw the chick off the balcony. The police came and brandon felt a slight pulse of fear for two seconds before he broke into a fit of laughter and then...

  8. #8
    watterinja
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    ...paid the regular THB100 get-out-of-jail fee to each copper.

    Then, all of a sardine,

  9. #9
    Member walrus's Avatar
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    the 'mescaline' he had taken 2 minutes earlier wore off and he found himself humping an empty Chang bottle in the middle of the beach to a captive audience of 3000 laughing backpackers and locals whilst ....

  10. #10
    たのむよ。
    The Gentleman Scamp's Avatar
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    ...shouting, "woahhhh, WOOOAAAAAAA" and...

  11. #11
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    Little Chuchok's Avatar
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    "who loves ya baby".After that...

  12. #12
    Member burdon's Avatar
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    After that God came to Burdon and said,

    " You are the finest of my creations. I know you won't let me suck your dick, but please, let me give you the world on a plate."

    "Ok, just because it's you asking."

    "Does that mean you might rethink the decision to let me suck your cock?"

    "Nope"

    "Just asking"

    "That is your choice"

    "Ok"

    "Yup"

    "Yup"

    "So"

    "Yup"

  13. #13
    I am in Jail

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    CUT!
    No, Burdon, God did not say that. I know Blanche personally and she never has to ask. This is another of your wet dream figments. Only the truth in this thread, please.
    ...and Burdon ran along the soi until he found a baby elephant with a bottle of Chang in her trunk...

  14. #14
    Member burdon's Avatar
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    CUT to Burdon and God chatting over a pint down their local, "The Old Monkey's Cock"

    "So B, how you diddlin' man. Let's break it down."

    "Huh. Don't give it all that wigger shit with me God, I know you are a little white boy."

    "You better recongnize a real Ole'G nicca. 'Fore I done put a cap in yow white ass."

  15. #15
    I am in Jail

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    Good reference, shite literal quote.

  16. #16
    Member burdon's Avatar
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    Then Barry Beelzebub walked into the pub, all dressed up in Burberry. He was such a cnut.

    "Awight God you fackin' little wanker. You owe me two 'undred squids. Hannd it 'averrr naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!."

    "At this, God stood up, picked up his pint of Red Stripe and glassed Beelzebub in the face."

    "DON'T FCUK WITH ME YOU LITTLE RED CHAV SON OF A WHORE." God laughed.

    Morale of this story? Don't fuck with God.

  17. #17
    watterinja
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    Suddenly a giant hand appeared out of the heavens - lowered itself to just above Burdon's miserable head & waited. After Burdon had completely emptied his bowels in both directions, the hand opened & could see the nail-scars in that gentle hand.

    He broke down in tears & pledged to follow Jesus for all his living days. That was a true wonder for all who witnessed this miraculous event.

  18. #18
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    bloody hell...and all this happened in Sukumvit?

  19. #19
    たのむよ。
    The Gentleman Scamp's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by watterinja View Post
    emptied his bowels in both directions..
    Blimey.

  20. #20
    Thailand Expat
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    yes Scampy, that Burden is an all round arse

  21. #21
    I am in Jail

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    And now burdon can be found on the corner of soi nana accosting male farang tourists with his pamphlets and memorised speech: "hey, asshole, i give you a testimony of what jesus said -- take it home you prick".

  22. #22
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    Cut to molestation which led Burdon on the path to salvation: as Burdon hung by the neck from a strand of piano wire with his toes barely touching the squat pot...............................

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