If...you might be a monk.

[gaysexbyproxy]

You can't find the keys to your RR because you're high on yaabaa.

You charge people for bogus advice and lottery numbers.

You ramble on about living a chaste life while boning novice monks.

You count money taken directly from a woman while smoking and updating your facebook status on a tablet.

You pretend to be knowledgeable about Dharma but only know how to chant.

[kmart]

You're the only cnut that's ever boarded a Lear Jet in flip-flops.

[Boon Mee]

You have 8 wives, multiple kids, homes in the States and garages full of luxury vehicles.

[ltnt]

At least they don't stay at the Vatican...

[diverken]

At least they don't stay at the Vatican...

Yes how many Roman catholic priest pedophiles have there been..all religions have some bastards

[poorfalang]

Yes how many Roman catholic priest pedophiles have there been..all religions have some bastards

Every single one of them is a paedo, if you ever questioned your self, then you are not real and you need a cup of reality

[youneverknow]

You make more money a month than the working folks in your neighborhood.

You get to pick your breakfast from a large variety of choices given to you everyday.

You have a private hut with a 60 inch TV and air con.

You like to go out for lunch regularly at the local restaurants.

You have the latest mobile phone and free Internet to watch porn at the temple.

At night you throw on your civilian garb and go out to the Karoake bars on the other side of town.

You send money home to your parents.

You use online banking while at the temple as you save up for your dream car.

You have some sell the donations you get at one of the markets.

You are forced to drive a car to make purchases in the town.

If you are upcountry, most days you spend you time walking around the shopping malls. (Next time you go look around. I bet you can't find a mall without a monk shopping there.)

[xanax]

OK so it's Buddhist lent when all these monks are meant to stay in the wats and nobody could buy booze for a couple of days in honour of this. Today I saw five monks in the local (small) shopping centre. One was buying KFC at 4 pm, another was looking at designer sunglasses, one more buying a phone and two in a bloody camera shop. If I can't buy a beer cos of these guy the shops should not serve them when they are meant to be holed up in the wat, fvcking hypocrites.

[Pragmatic]

My BIL's trick, when doing his 3 months, was to bring all the left over food and give it to family members. And he used to phone my missus up, when he was supposed to be fasting, and get her to cook him up some food. The whole lot's a sham.

[withnallstoke]

"If the Chinks boot you out".

[Bung]

If your having trouble finding monks just go to the nearest electronics plaza, you will always find them there checking out the latest phones and computers.

[Pragmatic]

^ My missus sees them but still jumps to their defence.

[Rural Surin]

The whole lot's a sham.

Unfortunately, it's headed in this direction.

Yet, still pockets of goodness and old traditional school can be found.

[withnallstoke]

If...you might be a monk.

Wrap your todger twixt cheeks of a youth.
Learn Kug Fu.
Read religious texts.
On your ipad.
Shave the middle bit of your head.
Wear a brown hessian sack.
Act as lookouts when the vikings come to town.
Shit yourself when the Spaniards come to power.
If they call you saint,
Hold the coffin lid down.
They are coming to check your credentials.

[youneverknow]

One of the stories on today's news was that a monk was one of the winners of yesterday's lottery. He won 12 million baht. He's the third monk I've heard of winning this year. I'd guess there have been many more. My wife seems to think it's okay for a monk to win the lottery then toss his robe and party. This seems to be the way most Thais feel about monks. So, you can add gambling because a huge amount of Thai monks seem to be in on the regular government lotteries otherwise they are darn lucky.

[gaysexbyproxy]

^Hmm...I wonder whose money he's gambling with?

[Kurgen]

if you drag dogs around by their back legs and smash their skulls in on the steps outside your room.