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The A – Z of Gentrification – sure-fire signs that your neighbourhood is upwardly mobile | urban75 blog

Compiled with the help of folks living at the sharp end of a rapidly gentrifying neighbourhood, this guide hopes to let you swiftly identify the tell-tale words, phrases and signs that indicate your area is about to move ‘upmarket’.
Before you start spluttering the froth from your stretched piccolo latte into your fashionable waxed moustache, please note that not all of the individual things listed are necessarily bad or even outright proof of impending gentrification, but collectively they are likely indicators that the neighbourhood is ‘on the move’.


A

Artists everywhere.
Artisan bread.
Art events.
Antic pubs.
Actors.
“Adventurous” cuisine.
Astroturfing.
Al fresco dining.
Alcohol promotions.
Art galleries.
Apple MacBooks.
Apple stores.
Antique stores.
Anger (growing)
B

Bikes (single speed/vintage).
Barratt Homes.
Brickbox.
Barbour clothes.
Bloggers.
Boutiques.
Beards.
Branding.
Buy to Let.
Boutique hotels.
Trendy barbers.
Braying.
BBC interviewers.
BMWs.
Buzzword spouting landgrabbers.
Black cabs.
Bow ties.
Blazers.




C

Craft fairs.
Craft beer.
Coffee shops.
Coffee with fancy designs on the froth.
Cocktails.
Cupcakes (“the footsoldiers of gentrification”).
‘Community’ grants for well-heeled and well-connected new arrivals.
Creatives.
Specialist cheese shops.
Champagne & Cheese.
Crepes.
Cocktails.
Costa Coffee.
Caffe Nero.
Charcuterie.
Cricket people.
Co-operatives crucified by the local council.
Celebrities.
Recently arrived ‘Community Spokespeople’.
Crowdfunding appeals.
‘Cleaner required’ notices.
Local characters and colour (as in fast disappearing).
Conspicuous wealth.
Chain stores masquerading as independents.
Council sell-offs.
Cash from chaos.


D

Niche Delis.
DJs every-fucking-where.
Disposable income.
Development partners.
You’ve become a ‘Destination’ (as in ‘foodie,’ ‘fashion’ etc).
Tiny dogs carried by their owners.
Demographic shift (massive).
Designer shops.
Division.
‘Discoveries’.
Displacement.
Paid dog walkers.
E

Estate agents.
Your neighbourhood described as ‘edgy.’
Ethnic cleansing.
Evictions.
Edwardian chic.
Entrepreneurs.
Evening Standard features.
Events magazines/sites.
Exodus (movement of Jah people).


F

Film crews.
Frozen Yoghurt.
Food blogs.
Foodies.
Celebrity food journalists banging on about their latest ‘discovery.’
Foxtons.
Fucking Foxtons.
Fucking Foxtons’ wanky Minis.
Fucking Foxtons’ wanky Minis and the twats sat inside them.
Fucking Foxtons etc etc ad infinitum.
Flat whites.
Foursquare.
Flat caps.
Fixies.
Food photos.
Facebook pages.
Farmers’ markets.
Fashion shoots.



G

‘Guerilla’ actions for corporate sponsors.
Guerilla Gardening.
Gourmet burgers.
Golf club bags.
Golf apparel.
Arty graffiti.
Local websites moaning about gentrification.
Gated communities.
Grant-sucking entrepreneurs.
Grammar school boys.


H

Hipsters.
‘Holistic’ things.
Hats.
Hyperlocal websites.
Hyperlocal newspapers.
Hyperlocal anything.
Homogenisation.
Hubs.
Heritage claimers.
Haves and Have Nots.
I

Instagram photos of your neighbourhood.
iPads.
iPhones.
Irony.
‘Ironic’ sexism.
Ironic jumpers.
Businesses claiming to be ‘improving’ the area.
Inequality.
Intolerance.
Internships (unpaid).
J

Joggers.
Jogging clubs.
Jay Rayner.
Jumpers across shoulders.
Jolly japes and whizzo wheezes.
Jamjar drinks.
K

Knitting.
Kickstarter ventures.


L

Lattes.
Lifestyle living.
Loft apartments.
Luxury flats.
Local businesses priced out.
Lifecoaches.
Locals (as in fast disappearing).
Lumberjack chic.
Ludicrous little lapdogs.
Ludicrous little lapdogs in handbags.
M

Moustaches.
Mochaccinos.
Mankles.
Media people.
Micro breweries.
Money supplying parents.
Man bags.
Multisports clubs.
N

Neighbourhood described as once ‘notorious’.
Novelty nick nack stores.
Ninja knitting.
Endless noise complaints from people moving into a ‘vibrant’ area.
Neighbourhood newspapers.
1970/1980s/1990s retro fashions.
Nathan Barley.
Nu-folkies.
O

Organic everything.
New arrivals outraged at non complimentary reviews for their favourite hoitie-totie fooderie.


P

Pop up shops.
Pop up bars.
Pop up restaurants.
Pop up boutiques.
Pop up fucking pop ups.
Photo features.
Padded jackets.
Posh people.
Pubs closing down to make way for upmarket housing and supermarkets
Planning permission (lack of).
Photographers everywhere.
Massive 4×4 prams.
Personal trainers.
People photographing their fucking food.
Privilege.
People bragging about property deals.
Political apathy.
Q

Quirky.
Quilted jackets.
Queues.
Shopping ‘Quarters’.


R

Rejuvenation.
Regeneration.
Re-imagining.
Renaming.
Rebooting.
Reprogramming.
Reinventing.
Rent rises.
Rugby shirts.
Rugby shirts with collars up.
Running clubs.
Recently arrived complaining about the even more recently arrived.
Resentment.
Rude customers.
Retro markets.


S

SLR film cameras.
Studios.
Squats (lack of).
Social cleansing.
Social housing (lack of).
Skinny jeans.
Spacemakers.
Sourdough.
Supper clubs.
Sushi.
Sainsburys.
Starbucks.
Skis.
Suits.
Spectacles (huge).
Sunglasses (huge)
Shoreditch-style restaurants.
Security guards.
Traditional Street Markets (disappearing).
Smug people.
Snobs.
Secret foodie extravaganzas.
Speakeasys.
Shabby chic.
Sausage dog cafes.
Sky high prices.
Shop signage that looks like it was painted by a 5 year old.
Schools sold off for yuppie flats.
Shameless self-promotion.


T

Time Out features.
Tight trousers.
Twats everywhere.
Tweed (ironic).
Tourists.
Tossers.
Tennis.
Tour guides.
Tapas.
Tesco Metro.
TV crews.
Tories slithering in.
Tory attitudes.
Twitter hashtags.
T shirts of underground bands never seen – or even listened to – by their wearers.
Twee shit.
U

Uniform (skinny jeans, ironic glasses etc., copied directly from Brooklyn circa 2005).
Ultimate frisbee team.
The upwardly mobile.
Unaffordable rents.


V

Vibrancy.
Vibrant everything.
Vintage shops.
Varsity jackets.
‘Villages.’
Vibrant Hubs.
Vice Magazine.
W

Workshops.
Working class’ apparel.
Exclusive wine shops.
Wellington boots.
Arriviste writers reviewing everything.
Organised walks.
Waxed moustaches.
Wealth gap.
Web designers.
X

eXtortionate prices
Y

Yoga.
Braying yuppies.
Yuppies out!
Yummy mummys.
Young professionals.
Yarn Bombing.
Z

The place turns into a freaking zoo.