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  1. #1
    たのむよ。
    The Gentleman Scamp's Avatar
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    Serious writers block - any BKK suggestions?

    The reason I am so prolific on here lately is because I have writers block.

    Last month the Phuket Gazette e-mailed me and asked if I could return to pick up my monthly column which is called Capital Letter.

    I can write about anything I want so long as it's Bangkok related, and they want funny anecdotes and stuff - I really am stuck.

    In the past I have recounted my meeting with a piss drinking necrophiliac cannibal in Banglumpoo, an interview with Sek Loso and more recently as I got desperate - a review of Suvanapoom airport or however the fuck you spell it.

    Please help if you can, this is not a troll - nor is anything else I should add, but this is my only income at the moment and I promise to buy a beer for anyone who can help get me started on a BKK related subject I can get my teeth into, or an anecdote I could say was me and was in Bangkok.

    I have been sat here since 8:45am and all I have typed is...

    'Back in the days when Siam Paragorn was an excavated hole, before the World Trade Center became Central World Plaza and Don Muang was the old airport'

    Starts off ok but falls at the end, also - I only get 2.5baht per word so thus far I have about enough for a big bottle of Leo.
    "I'm an outsider by choice, but not truly. It's the unpleasantness of the system that keeps me out. I'd rather be in, in a good system. That's where my discontent comes from: being forced to choose to stay outside.
    My advice: Just keep movin' straight ahead. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place."

    George Carlin

  2. #2
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    slimboyfat's Avatar
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    why dont you get a real job you slacker

  3. #3
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    sabang's Avatar
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    It'll need research, but one thought would be a sightseeing day on public river boats checking out the smaller klongs of Bangkok.
    Something I've always wanted to do.

  4. #4
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    sabang's Avatar
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    Another would be Bkk characters you've met- just hang around washington square for a day, you'll get plenty of material.

  5. #5
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    Wallace's Avatar
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    If it's a monthly column, have you thought of 'A day in the life of....'.
    Maybe a friendly taxi driver would let you sit in the front seat of his cab for the day and you can tell his story. Or any number of characters. I've always wondered what the three policemen do who sit in the gazebo outside Queen Sirikit Gardens next to the Emporium shopping centre. They have 3 mountain bikes, 2 motorbikes, and seem to take it in turns to do a quick spin round the grounds before settling back down to their newspaper. If your Thai is up to it, I think these would make interesting articles and I'd definitely read them.
    The truth is out there, but then I'm stuck in here.

  6. #6
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    ChiangMai noon's Avatar
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    ^
    good idea Wallace.
    One of the writers in the ChiangMai city life forum spent a day as a samlor rider.
    Made for a very interesting piece.

  7. #7
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    How about a DJ Pat 'How to create your own language school in BKK' peice?

  8. #8
    nid aur yw popeth melyn
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    Fun faire material????

  9. #9
    Have you got any cheese Thetyim's Avatar
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    A long time back I spent a month "helping" the Tourist Police.
    I don't know how the place is laid out now but you used to be able to sit down within earshot of the interveiw desk and listen to all the farangs reporting their complaints. You would not believe some of the moronic drivel coming from our fellow countrymen. It's a real eyeopener.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thetyim View Post
    You would not believe some of the moronic drivel coming from our fellow countrymen. It's a real eyeopener.
    wonder if any of them were members here

  11. #11
    punk douche bag
    ChiangMai noon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thetyim
    A long time back I spent a month "helping" the Tourist Police.
    I don't know how the place is laid out now but you used to be able to sit down within earshot of the interveiw desk and listen to all the farangs reporting their complaints. You would not believe some of the moronic drivel coming from our fellow countrymen. It's a real eyeopener.
    Now that's interesting.
    can you elaborate?

  12. #12
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    How's about a ghost story. The most feared ghost in Bangkok is Mae Nak Phra Khanong, her shrine/grave is on Suk. Soi 101. She lived in the 19th century and was married to a soldier, he went off to the wars after she became pregnant and she died alone and pregnant shortly after. Her ghost, doubly powerful because of the foetus ghost inside, haunts the area and attacks and drinks the blood of anybody unfortunate enough to be caught by her.

    After her death her husband, unaware that she had died, came home from the war to find his wife waiting for him. Not knowing that she was a ghost he moved back in with her. One night while she was making dinner she dropped a mango on the ground 6 feet below, she extended her arm 6 feet to pick it up. When her husband saw this he called to a monk for help and the monk imprisoned the spirit in a bottle which he sealed and threw into the river.

    Later, after the husband remarried, two fishermen found the bottle and opened it, her spirit escaped, returned to her house, and killed the husbands new wife.

    Today there's a huge shrine on the site of the house, inside there's a statue of Mae Nak and a smaller statue of her baby. People bring her new clothes and furniture and they bring toys and food for the baby. A monk promised her that if she did not kill again she would be reunited with her husband in another life and the people, fearful of the ghost, bring her whatever she needs to keep her happy in her house. As a side effect of this there are trees growing in the shrine compound which occasionally produce winning lottery numbers on their bark. Her favourite movie is "Mon Raak Luk Thung" and this movie and the music is always belting out around the shrine. There've been many TV series about her and the big movie of 1999, Nang Nak, is all about her life and death.
    The Above Post May Contain Strong Language, Flashing Lights, or Violent Scenes.

  13. #13
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    Do a cost comparison of refridgerators and XXXXL size underwear at all the department stores. Go through Sonthi's garbage and list all the contents. Interview the blacks cruising Soi Nana area. Pretend you have no money and beg for plane ticket baht outside mbk. Lots of stories.

  14. #14
    Have you got any cheese Thetyim's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marooned
    Do a cost comparison of refridgerators and XXXXL size underwear at all the department stores.
    I'm fairly certain I know the answer already.
    Refrigerators cost more than underwear.

  15. #15
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    sabang's Avatar
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    Interview some BG's and Mamsans.
    Punters luv reading that stuff.

  16. #16
    Bounced
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    How about a piece on the history three of Bangkok's most visible monuments - the Democracy Monument, the Victory Monument and the Monument
    outside Lumphini Park?

    I'd read it, but then I'm not like others.

  17. #17
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    the guy is in a shanty town in the philippines - he cant do interviews or whatever in bangkok.

    what he wants is a story he can cut and paste and email to the Phuket Gazette.

  18. #18
    たのむよ。
    The Gentleman Scamp's Avatar
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    Some good responses, and thanks - I think the main problem is not being there.

    I could write loads of interesting and funny stuff about the Phillipines, or Sandra or even the recently departed Carnival.

    I have dug a couple of old TV threads, the long uns, end one from Orient (which is what I was asking brit for the other day) to see if I can mould, adapt or re-write them but they are all tales about girls and out of date or place.

    A few days ago I had it all planned, I was going to write about the nicknames that some Thai's give their kids, intermingled with some teaching anecdotes - that's what my 'Silly Names' thread was all about, I was just secretly using you all to assist me and but my memory isn't what is was in those Sathorn classrooms (it wasn't Sathorn but fuck it, I can't remember anywhere else in Bangers) - and as for anecdotes???

    I sang 'Head, Shoulders Knees and Toes with a hangover once and some kid weed himself and started bawling when I asked him what his name was.

    That's it.

  19. #19
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    What about the names of the streets.

    Or your own personal hundred dollar taxi ride.

  20. #20
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    ChiangMai noon's Avatar
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    For 2.5 baht a word, I wouldn't bother doing it at all.

  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Gentleman Scamp
    I sang 'Head, Shoulders Knees and Toes with a hangover once
    Did'nt know you were a 'real' teacher

  22. #22
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    KK could do a good one about when he fell asleep in Eden and that French cnut charged him 12,000baht.

  23. #23
    たのむよ。
    The Gentleman Scamp's Avatar
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    ^
    Yes, please.

  24. #24
    lom
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thetyim
    A long time back I spent a month "helping" the Tourist Police.
    What crime did you commit to be sentenced to one month only ?

  25. #25
    Not a Mod.
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    Quote Originally Posted by DrB0b View Post
    How's about a ghost story. The most feared ghost in Bangkok is Mae Nak Phra Khanong, her shrine/grave is on Suk. Soi 101. She lived in the 19th century and was married to a soldier, he went off to the wars after she became pregnant and she died alone and pregnant shortly after. Her ghost, doubly powerful because of the foetus ghost inside, haunts the area and attacks and drinks the blood of anybody unfortunate enough to be caught by her.

    After her death her husband, unaware that she had died, came home from the war to find his wife waiting for him. Not knowing that she was a ghost he moved back in with her. One night while she was making dinner she dropped a mango on the ground 6 feet below, she extended her arm 6 feet to pick it up. When her husband saw this he called to a monk for help and the monk imprisoned the spirit in a bottle which he sealed and threw into the river.

    Later, after the husband remarried, two fishermen found the bottle and opened it, her spirit escaped, returned to her house, and killed the husbands new wife.

    Today there's a huge shrine on the site of the house, inside there's a statue of Mae Nak and a smaller statue of her baby. People bring her new clothes and furniture and they bring toys and food for the baby. A monk promised her that if she did not kill again she would be reunited with her husband in another life and the people, fearful of the ghost, bring her whatever she needs to keep her happy in her house. As a side effect of this there are trees growing in the shrine compound which occasionally produce winning lottery numbers on their bark. Her favourite movie is "Mon Raak Luk Thung" and this movie and the music is always belting out around the shrine. There've been many TV series about her and the big movie of 1999, Nang Nak, is all about her life and death.
    Why not copy DrBob's post and stick in a few pictures. An excellent well written piece.

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