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  1. #1
    Thailand Expat Fluke's Avatar
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    African American Man Tries To Return Ownership of Self To White Family.

    In what some African American comunity leaders call a disgusting spectacle beyond words, a local black man Henry Simms tracked down the decendants of slave owners who owned his ancesters in an attempt to return himself as 'lost property' in order to collect room and board.

    "Times are hard.Henry said as he set up a tent on the vacant lot across from the home of Fred and Lara Duncan.I lost my job last year at the factory,and had to live out of my car."
    Things looked bleak until Henry saw an episode of ROOTS on BET last summer and decided to track down his family tree.

    "I learned that my great,great,Grand father was a slave owned by the Duncans,he told our reporter pointing at the home across the street.I figured 'what the heck' I'll just return myself to them."

    The Duncans would not return our calls,but put out a statement which read "We do wish for any troluble,and the actions of Mr.Simms are very disturbing."

    Police were called an Mr.simms recived a restraing order keeping him 50 feet from their home.
    Henry decided to pitch a makeshift camp on the edge of that boundery in a vacant lot.

    "They will take ownership of me! If I have to wait all winter out in the cold I will." Henry replied in a determined voice.

    We will report any new developments in this ongoing story.

  2. #2
    Molecular Mixup
    blue's Avatar
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    Great idea ! as a skint Britain I think i'll track down decendants of Emperor Nero in Rome and return myself to them .

  3. #3
    Philippine Expat
    Davis Knowlton's Avatar
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    That's actually quite funny.

  4. #4
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    What a load of shit. Wheres the link?

  5. #5
    Thailand Expat Fluke's Avatar
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    Havent got one

  6. #6
    I am not in Jail AntRobertson's Avatar
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    Where did it come from, email?

  7. #7
    Elite Mumbler
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    Sounds like something The Onion would do.

  8. #8
    Days Work Done! Norton's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by blue
    Great idea ! as a skint Britain I think i'll track down descendants of Emperor Nero in Rome and return myself to them .
    Frying pan into the fire.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fluke
    Henry decided to pitch a makeshift camp on the edge of that boundery in a vacant lot.
    Location is wrong, its in Issan and Gravesend Dave is his neighbor.

  10. #10
    Days Work Done! Norton's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bsnub
    Wheres the link?
    Here's one.

    African American Man Tries To Return Ownership of Self To White Family. - Topix

  11. #11
    Thailand Expat
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    Quote Originally Posted by AntRobertson View Post
    Where did it come from, email?
    A couple of doobies watching "Django Unchained" probably.

  12. #12
    Member Rocksteady's Avatar
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    Can't see why the family have a problem? Free labour, shackle him to a wall in between, rent him out to service the local obese women, charge the 'beasts' a decent wedge to work on him and feed him pigs swill. Job done!

  13. #13
    I don't know barbaro's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fluke View Post
    In what some African American comunity leaders call a disgusting spectacle beyond words, a local black man Henry Simms tracked down the decendants of slave owners who owned his ancesters in an attempt to return himself as 'lost property' in order to collect room and board.

    "Times are hard.Henry said as he set up a tent on the vacant lot across from the home of Fred and Lara Duncan.I lost my job last year at the factory,and had to live out of my car."
    Things looked bleak until Henry saw an episode of ROOTS on BET last summer and decided to track down his family tree.

    "I learned that my great,great,Grand father was a slave owned by the Duncans,he told our reporter pointing at the home across the street.I figured 'what the heck' I'll just return myself to them."

    The Duncans would not return our calls,but put out a statement which read "We do wish for any troluble,and the actions of Mr.Simms are very disturbing."

    Police were called an Mr.simms recived a restraing order keeping him 50 feet from their home.
    Henry decided to pitch a makeshift camp on the edge of that boundery in a vacant lot.

    "They will take ownership of me! If I have to wait all winter out in the cold I will." Henry replied in a determined voice.

    We will report any new developments in this ongoing story.
    Erm....Fluke....

    Any link to this story?

    I think the "40 acres and a mule" (which was never followed up on) 150+years ago might slightly....negate his claim.

    And if the alleged dead relative of....150+ years ago is actually a former dead owner, does legal law allow compensation in the form of rent 150+ years later?

    Me thinks this OP might.....a reproduction of some email joke.
    ............

  14. #14
    Thailand Expat Fluke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rocksteady View Post
    Can't see why the family have a problem? Free labour, shackle him to a wall in between, rent him out to service the local obese women, charge the 'beasts' a decent wedge to work on him and feed him pigs swill. Job done!
    It could become a new trend .

    II


    II

  15. #15
    Pedantic bastard
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fluke View Post
    In what some African American comunity leaders call a disgusting spectacle beyond words, a local black man Henry Simms tracked down the decendants of slave owners who owned his ancesters in an attempt to return himself as 'lost property' in order to collect room and board.
    If real, he needs to brush up on his history, and particularly the Emancipation Proclamation of 1st January, 1863.

  16. #16
    Thailand Expat Fluke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nidhogg View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Fluke View Post
    In what some African American comunity leaders call a disgusting spectacle beyond words, a local black man Henry Simms tracked down the decendants of slave owners who owned his ancesters in an attempt to return himself as 'lost property' in order to collect room and board.
    If real, he needs to brush up on his history, and particularly the Emancipation Proclamation of 1st January, 1863.
    What did that say ?

  17. #17
    Pedantic bastard
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fluke View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by nidhogg View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Fluke View Post
    In what some African American comunity leaders call a disgusting spectacle beyond words, a local black man Henry Simms tracked down the decendants of slave owners who owned his ancesters in an attempt to return himself as 'lost property' in order to collect room and board.
    If real, he needs to brush up on his history, and particularly the Emancipation Proclamation of 1st January, 1863.
    What did that say ?
    That slaves were freed, and hence no longer property.

  18. #18
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    I love it when joke threads turn out like this.

  19. #19
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    I come from a family of bog Irish serfs on my mothers side, and one of my progenitors was illegitimately duffed up by a Gallaher (tobacco fortune). May I return my ownership too?

  20. #20
    I am in Jail
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    Quote Originally Posted by Davis Knowlton View Post
    That's actually quite funny.
    fuck yeah it is it's hilarious

    be great on a comedy program

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