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Old 20-02-2013, 02:04 PM   #1 (permalink)
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African American Man Tries To Return Ownership of Self To White Family.

In what some African American comunity leaders call a disgusting spectacle beyond words, a local black man Henry Simms tracked down the decendants of slave owners who owned his ancesters in an attempt to return himself as 'lost property' in order to collect room and board.

"Times are hard.Henry said as he set up a tent on the vacant lot across from the home of Fred and Lara Duncan.I lost my job last year at the factory,and had to live out of my car."
Things looked bleak until Henry saw an episode of ROOTS on BET last summer and decided to track down his family tree.

"I learned that my great,great,Grand father was a slave owned by the Duncans,he told our reporter pointing at the home across the street.I figured 'what the heck' I'll just return myself to them."

The Duncans would not return our calls,but put out a statement which read "We do wish for any troluble,and the actions of Mr.Simms are very disturbing."

Police were called an Mr.simms recived a restraing order keeping him 50 feet from their home.
Henry decided to pitch a makeshift camp on the edge of that boundery in a vacant lot.

"They will take ownership of me! If I have to wait all winter out in the cold I will." Henry replied in a determined voice.

We will report any new developments in this ongoing story.
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Old 20-02-2013, 02:24 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Great idea ! as a skint Britain I think i'll track down decendants of Emperor Nero in Rome and return myself to them .
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Old 20-02-2013, 02:33 PM   #3 (permalink)
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That's actually quite funny.
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Old 20-02-2013, 02:46 PM   #4 (permalink)
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What a load of shit. Wheres the link?
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Old 20-02-2013, 02:47 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Havent got one
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Old 20-02-2013, 02:51 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Where did it come from, email?
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Old 20-02-2013, 03:01 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Sounds like something The Onion would do.
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Old 20-02-2013, 03:13 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blue
Great idea ! as a skint Britain I think i'll track down descendants of Emperor Nero in Rome and return myself to them .
Frying pan into the fire.
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Old 20-02-2013, 03:14 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fluke
Henry decided to pitch a makeshift camp on the edge of that boundery in a vacant lot.
Location is wrong, its in Issan and Gravesend Dave is his neighbor.
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Old 20-02-2013, 03:15 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bsnub
Wheres the link?
Here's one.

African American Man Tries To Return Ownership of Self To White Family. - Topix
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Old 21-02-2013, 09:37 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Where did it come from, email?
A couple of doobies watching "Django Unchained" probably.
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Old 21-02-2013, 10:35 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Can't see why the family have a problem? Free labour, shackle him to a wall in between, rent him out to service the local obese women, charge the 'beasts' a decent wedge to work on him and feed him pigs swill. Job done!
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Old 21-02-2013, 10:49 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fluke View Post
In what some African American comunity leaders call a disgusting spectacle beyond words, a local black man Henry Simms tracked down the decendants of slave owners who owned his ancesters in an attempt to return himself as 'lost property' in order to collect room and board.

"Times are hard.Henry said as he set up a tent on the vacant lot across from the home of Fred and Lara Duncan.I lost my job last year at the factory,and had to live out of my car."
Things looked bleak until Henry saw an episode of ROOTS on BET last summer and decided to track down his family tree.

"I learned that my great,great,Grand father was a slave owned by the Duncans,he told our reporter pointing at the home across the street.I figured 'what the heck' I'll just return myself to them."

The Duncans would not return our calls,but put out a statement which read "We do wish for any troluble,and the actions of Mr.Simms are very disturbing."

Police were called an Mr.simms recived a restraing order keeping him 50 feet from their home.
Henry decided to pitch a makeshift camp on the edge of that boundery in a vacant lot.

"They will take ownership of me! If I have to wait all winter out in the cold I will." Henry replied in a determined voice.

We will report any new developments in this ongoing story.
Erm....Fluke....

Any link to this story?

I think the "40 acres and a mule" (which was never followed up on) 150+years ago might slightly....negate his claim.

And if the alleged dead relative of....150+ years ago is actually a former dead owner, does legal law allow compensation in the form of rent 150+ years later?

Me thinks this OP might.....a reproduction of some email joke.
__________________
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Old 22-02-2013, 12:31 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Quote:
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Can't see why the family have a problem? Free labour, shackle him to a wall in between, rent him out to service the local obese women, charge the 'beasts' a decent wedge to work on him and feed him pigs swill. Job done!
It could become a new trend .

II


II
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Old 22-02-2013, 12:39 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fluke View Post
In what some African American comunity leaders call a disgusting spectacle beyond words, a local black man Henry Simms tracked down the decendants of slave owners who owned his ancesters in an attempt to return himself as 'lost property' in order to collect room and board.
If real, he needs to brush up on his history, and particularly the Emancipation Proclamation of 1st January, 1863.
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Old 18-04-2013, 02:50 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Quote:
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fluke View Post
In what some African American comunity leaders call a disgusting spectacle beyond words, a local black man Henry Simms tracked down the decendants of slave owners who owned his ancesters in an attempt to return himself as 'lost property' in order to collect room and board.
If real, he needs to brush up on his history, and particularly the Emancipation Proclamation of 1st January, 1863.
What did that say ?
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Old 18-04-2013, 02:55 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fluke View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by nidhogg View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fluke View Post
In what some African American comunity leaders call a disgusting spectacle beyond words, a local black man Henry Simms tracked down the decendants of slave owners who owned his ancesters in an attempt to return himself as 'lost property' in order to collect room and board.
If real, he needs to brush up on his history, and particularly the Emancipation Proclamation of 1st January, 1863.
What did that say ?
That slaves were freed, and hence no longer property.
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Old 18-04-2013, 02:59 PM   #18 (permalink)
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I love it when joke threads turn out like this.
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Old 18-04-2013, 09:26 PM   #19 (permalink)
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I come from a family of bog Irish serfs on my mothers side, and one of my progenitors was illegitimately duffed up by a Gallaher (tobacco fortune). May I return my ownership too?
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Old 18-04-2013, 10:08 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Quote:
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That's actually quite funny.
fuck yeah it is it's hilarious

be great on a comedy program
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