Thread: PMs - are they really private?

I have just had my ass chewed by a senior members (who I will not name) for quoting an abusive PM from a poster I had told to stop trolling (in a comment to a "red" reputation point). The abusive PM contained no personal information, no "inside" knowledge, basically just a few sentences of personal attacks on me (and others) and a few profanities.

I was just told (by the senior member) that PMs are personal, and therefore can not be posted, and that all quotes of PMs will be deleted. Naturally, I therefore cannot quote this PM either.

But are PMs really confidential? For a start, the moderators or owners of the forum probably has access to them, and could read them (not saying they do, and I frankly do not care), but in my opinion, once you send me a PM, email, letter or SMS, it is my property, and I will do what I like with it. I can quote it here (were it not for the moderators )or elsewhere on the net, spraypaint it on buildings, tattoo it on my forehead, make it a signature on my e-mails, etc, etc. So can others.

Naturally, sending someone a message, in whatever form, implies that you have considered what you are saying/writing, and to whom you are saying/writing it. For example - I have shared my handphone number (by PM) with a number of posters here that I feel that I can trust. If they fail to live up to that trust, I may receive a few crank calls, but the damage is limited. I expect these people to be worthy of my trust, but I would never count on it, unless I knew them personally, and even then if that is what it takes to remove an untrustworthy person from my small circle of acquaintances, it is probably worth it.

Similarly, if you do not know me or do not trust me, do not send me messages you don't want publicised. Common sense, really.

As far as I know, no one here on TD uses their real name (even AC has now decided to use a nic), so anonymity in posting is guarantied, unless you start divulging information yourself.

Therefore, when someone I do not know (apart from their onscreen nic) sends me an abusive e-mail, I have no scruples publicising it. In this case, if he had been brave/stupid enough to include his full name, telephone number, address and place of work, I would have left this information out, simply because I feel that would have been 1) irrelevant, 2) too nasty, and 3) below my own admittedly very low standards.

But I feel the decision of what and whom to quote rests with me, and me alone. And if you send me abusive and immature messages, what duty do I have to protect you from the redicule of the masses?

So there you have it - my attitude to the confidenciality of private messages. What is yours?


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i spoke with some moderators the other day and they told me that pms are not private at all.

in fact when they are bored they read through all the ones with interesting titles and/or to Ice Maiden

i am joking ofcourse

I think as long as they don't containe personal info they should be ok

I see the position taken by the board bosses - it seems to be an agreed internet norm. It's meant to be private mail.

Turn off your pm feature, if it gets abused.