View Poll Results: Are PMs, e-mails, SMS, etc confidential? (NB - Public poll)

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  • Yes, PMs and the like should be 100% confidential!

    8 28.57%
  • Private information is confidential, abusive messages are not.

    7 25.00%
  • I trust the receiver with what I send - but I don't trust strangers.

    1 3.57%
  • Hell no - if you don't want it public, don't put it in writing.

    12 42.86%
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  1. #1
    Thailand Expat
    Whiteshiva's Avatar
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    PMs - are they really private?

    I have just had my ass chewed by a senior members (who I will not name) for quoting an abusive PM from a poster I had told to stop trolling (in a comment to a "red" reputation point). The abusive PM contained no personal information, no "inside" knowledge, basically just a few sentences of personal attacks on me (and others) and a few profanities.

    I was just told (by the senior member) that PMs are personal, and therefore can not be posted, and that all quotes of PMs will be deleted. Naturally, I therefore cannot quote this PM either.

    But are PMs really confidential? For a start, the moderators or owners of the forum probably has access to them, and could read them (not saying they do, and I frankly do not care), but in my opinion, once you send me a PM, email, letter or SMS, it is my property, and I will do what I like with it. I can quote it here (were it not for the moderators )or elsewhere on the net, spraypaint it on buildings, tattoo it on my forehead, make it a signature on my e-mails, etc, etc. So can others.

    Naturally, sending someone a message, in whatever form, implies that you have considered what you are saying/writing, and to whom you are saying/writing it. For example - I have shared my handphone number (by PM) with a number of posters here that I feel that I can trust. If they fail to live up to that trust, I may receive a few crank calls, but the damage is limited. I expect these people to be worthy of my trust, but I would never count on it, unless I knew them personally, and even then if that is what it takes to remove an untrustworthy person from my small circle of acquaintances, it is probably worth it.

    Similarly, if you do not know me or do not trust me, do not send me messages you don't want publicised. Common sense, really.

    As far as I know, no one here on TD uses their real name (even AC has now decided to use a nic), so anonymity in posting is guarantied, unless you start divulging information yourself.

    Therefore, when someone I do not know (apart from their onscreen nic) sends me an abusive e-mail, I have no scruples publicising it. In this case, if he had been brave/stupid enough to include his full name, telephone number, address and place of work, I would have left this information out, simply because I feel that would have been 1) irrelevant, 2) too nasty, and 3) below my own admittedly very low standards.

    But I feel the decision of what and whom to quote rests with me, and me alone. And if you send me abusive and immature messages, what duty do I have to protect you from the redicule of the masses?

    So there you have it - my attitude to the confidenciality of private messages. What is yours?


    .

  2. #2
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    i spoke with some moderators the other day and they told me that pms are not private at all.

    in fact when they are bored they read through all the ones with interesting titles and/or to Ice Maiden

    i am joking ofcourse

  3. #3
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    I think as long as they don't containe personal info they should be ok

  4. #4
    watterinja
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    I see the position taken by the board bosses - it seems to be an agreed internet norm. It's meant to be private mail.

    Turn off your pm feature, if it gets abused.

  5. #5
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    Mine is all pms stuck on the forum get deleted, we aint gonna bother judging them on a case by case basis, as for anybody being able to read your pms, the only way that could be done is if they have your password, or if the database was downloaded and the hash code deciphering thingy is cracked, I should mention the database is about 6gb now so thats one hell of a download.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by dirtydog View Post
    Mine is all pms stuck on the forum get deleted
    Which is fine by me, but shouldn't there then also be a rule against abusive PMs? After all, if someone is too chicken to say what they think/feel in a public forum, should they then be allowed to post all kind of abuse in a PM?

    I personally prefer not to get dragged into a mud slinging contest (by PM or otherwise), but would rather expose the idiots for what they are. In my opinion you can't tell someone to fuck off, and then trust them to keep it confidential.

  7. #7
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    Just stick them on your ignore list

  8. #8
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    The newspapers take on this is, "is it in the public interest". So if you publish a PM on the board that exposes someone as a complete wnker, especially if as a poster they come accross differently. Then it is in the interest of the wider forum community they are exposed as such.

  9. #9
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    I quite agree Adare, and we shall implement that as soon as this becomes a pay for view board

  10. #10
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    Just post it anyway, I'm sure enough people will read it before DD delets it

  11. #11
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    instead of posting it, just PM it to everyone else who you tihink might be interested

  12. #12
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    Lets all goto tv and ask about animal insemination I have some nice pictures to post of a gal sexually arousing a pig

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by slimboyfat View Post
    instead of posting it, just PM it to everyone else who you think might be interested

    Which begs another question - are there any restrictions on forwarding PMs?

  14. #14
    Have you got any cheese Thetyim's Avatar
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    It's called a PM for a reason, because it is private.
    It should not be posted.

    It is an accepted rule here that PM's should not be posted.
    I think you know what happens to the nail that sticks out.

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by dirtydog View Post
    Lets all goto tv and ask about animal insemination I have some nice pictures to post of a gal sexually arousing a pig
    thats not something you see everyday. well at least i dont

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Whiteshiva
    Which begs another question - are there any restrictions on forwarding PMs?
    Morally it is not correct, and if we found out we would probably take away your pm rights.

  17. #17
    I am in Jail
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    Quote Originally Posted by dirtydog
    Morally it is not correct, and if we found out we would probably take away your pm rights
    But if it is really offensive couldn't he pm a mod (or you) and paste it into the pm?

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by dirtydog View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Whiteshiva
    Which begs another question - are there any restrictions on forwarding PMs?
    Morally it is not correct.
    I think that depends on the context.

    Quote Originally Posted by dirtydog View Post
    and if we found out we would probably take away your pm rights.
    BUT!!!!!! - How would you find out unless:

    1) you read other peoples PMs, or
    2) someone forwards the PM to a yourself or a moderator (which in itself would be breaking the rules)?


  19. #19
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    Good idea lily, ok someone start a poll on who should be the pm moderator, whoever gets chosen is the one you complain to about abusive pms, right thats another problem sorted out, anyway my vote goes to stroller

  20. #20
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    I have nearly 2,000 pms in my inbox, 69 of them I haven't read, do you really think I would spend a , hmmm, how long would it take me to download the database? probably a week, to read other peoples pms, and that is if the hash code can be broken, I assume it can if it is just 128 encryption.



    Quote Originally Posted by Whiteshiva
    BUT!!!!!! - How would you find out unless: 1) you read other peoples PMs, or 2) someone forwards the PM to a yourself or a moderator (which in itself would be breaking the rules)?

  21. #21
    Northern Hermit
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lily View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by dirtydog
    Morally it is not correct, and if we found out we would probably take away your pm rights
    But if it is really offensive couldn't he pm a mod (or you) and paste it into the pm?
    I think a "report this PM" kind of thing would be nice, all the mods would then get the PM. Not being able to see both sides of the exchange they would then have to contact the defendant wouldn't they? Maybe hold a trial? Do we need a "Big Brother" to watch over everyone?

    Setting a policy of not allowing he posting PM publicly is going to be right 90% of the time. In a situation like this that's doing pretty good, I have to agree with that policy.

    Without giving the Mods access to the PM database, complaints can be made, or taken, out of context. The same goes for posting them.

    99% of PMs are inoffensive enough; when I send a PM I don't want to see it plastered on for all to see, otherwise I would have put it in a thread. I don't think we need a PM police. Put the fuckers on ignore or just grin and bear it.
    When the people fear their government, there is tyranny; when the government fears the people, there is liberty -- T. Jefferson


  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by dirtydog View Post
    I have nearly 2,000 pms in my inbox, 69 of them I haven't read, do you really think I would spend a , hmmm, how long would it take me to download the database? probably a week, to read other peoples pms, and that is if the hash code can be broken, I assume it can if it is just 128 encryption.



    Quote Originally Posted by Whiteshiva
    BUT!!!!!! - How would you find out unless: 1) you read other peoples PMs, or 2) someone forwards the PM to a yourself or a moderator (which in itself would be breaking the rules)?
    DD - It was a hypotethical question - I seriously doubt if anyone could be bothered to read other peoples PMs, one would be highly unlikely to find anything of interest anyway. I was mearly pointing out the lack of logic (at least to me) in the current rules & regulations.

  23. #23
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    I agree with WS. I have always considered that the PM function is to allow members to exchange confidential information, not to throw abuse that would show the sender up to be an even bigger dickhead in private than they already appear to be in public.

    I use the same discretion disclosing my phone number or address in a PM as I do when handing out my business card and I consider that I have as little contol over it's use afterwards, be it posted on a forum or pinned to the bog wall in Nana Plaza.

    The only rule worth following on the internet is: "Don't write anything that you wouldn't be prepared to shout across the room."
    Lord, deliver us from e-mail.

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dougal
    pinned to the bog wall in Nana Plaza
    It wasn't me

  25. #25
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    I still think that anyone who expects written communication (of any sort) to be 100% private needs their head examined.

    And abusive PMs on a public forum, where sender and receiver only know each other by nics and avitars - gimme a break! Who, or what exactly are we trying to protect? Privacy?

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