My Boring Life in Thailand

**dirtydog** · 16-02-2007, 03:09 AM

Ok I am going to start telling some of the stuff that has happened to me in Thailand, Hopefully I will keep this up and it will equal El Gibbons thread on living in the jungles of Chantanburi.

Right I shall start with an easy one to remember, well for me anyway, me and this Thai cop are in a short time bar in Soi yodsak, having a good time but we aint gonna take any girls from there as there aint no pretty ones, then some drunk farang guy starts beating on the girls, now this guy is big, I mean real fok off big and he is whacking into 3 Girls, he got them in the corner of the bar and is just swinging wild punches at them, the German bar owner runs outside of his bar and aint gonna do nothing about it, so we got me, a load of girls, one crazy farang and a policeman, now obviously being a farang we think this has to be stopped real quick, the policeman didn't want to get involved, after 10 minutes of this I forced the situation, I mean this great big guy was whacking tiny little Thai girls, he was about 6 foot 6 inches, so me mate radios the police and decides to deal with the situation, by this time I was already in there getting the girls away from the crazed farang and outside, my mate the polioceman had the crazed farang by the neck and was trying to bang his head against the wall, now that is real difficult to do when your a foot or more shorter than the guy your trying to whack his head against the wall, but it all calmed down real quick, then the problems started

we had been in a bar previously talking to a German guy and my mate had pretended he was Malaysian, this German guy walks in and and tells everybody he aint Thai police but a Malaysian guy and can't do this shite, this was the time it got scary, "Get your gun out now" I was shouting, things were really going down bad, we got some farang telling the other farang that this guy aint a cop and the farang had 80 kilos on him and the other wanted to join in on this fun adventure, so here we are in an empty bar as I made all the girls go outside, only want friendly wittnessess

and we got some big mother foker farang drunk out of his head and some stoopid foker who really believed the malaysian bullshit, luckily the police turn up real quick to help each other and there was loads of them within seconds of this second idiot.

**dirtydog** · 16-02-2007, 03:20 AM

Actually that reminds me of another time I was there with the same guy and another Thai guy.

The other Thai guy is rich, I mean he drives BMW's, anyway we take a few girls with us up into the the room, shared room, yeah I know it is disgusting 3 guys and girls sharing a room,absolutely perverted, but hell the girls enjoyed it, well the ones i did did

So off we go down stairs afterwards and the girls started to be a bit impolite about their payments for services rendered, now between us we had about 100k baht on us, the other 2 had guns, it ended up with 2 guns on the table and the the 100k baht just to show them, they were quite polite after that

Yeah and the guns were hidden under the pillow during the time in the room

**Lady Hawk** · 16-02-2007, 03:21 AM

DD can you paragragh that i'm pissed and had to read it twice.
Got the the jist though,just can't imagine you shouting get your gun out.
farang wanker who the fuck do these guys think they are
your pretty much a hero though if i ever meet you which i hope i do i will buy you a beer for saving the girls good on ya

**Gerbil** · 16-02-2007, 03:25 AM

Originally Posted by dirtydog

me and this Thai cop are in a short time bar in Soi yodsak

Interesting, personally I'd have chosen a girl instead, but each to their own.

**dirtydog** · 16-02-2007, 03:27 AM

Fok the guy was really big, I wouldn't have gone against him unless I had an advatage, I have to admit I was shocked that my mate didn't get his gun out, it was like wot the fok you doing, you aint got the height to whack his head against the wall, it was actually quite funny to watch.

**Lady Hawk** · 16-02-2007, 03:32 AM

sounds bloody mental. yeah your boring life NOT eh

**dirtydog** · 16-02-2007, 03:38 AM

Actually we had a similar incident in some Karoke Bar, some Thai guys started throwing bottles all over the place, this was on 3rd road in Pattaya, several drunk Thai guys started smashing bottles and throwing them at each other, at the time I was out of my head and so was the cop, it kicked off and this time he actually tried to stop it real quick, lifted up his shirt to show his gun as I made all the staff go outside, its not so much the worry of innocents getting injured, more the testomany of biased witnessess if things go bad

**Lady Hawk** · 16-02-2007, 03:48 AM

yeap thats the worry,but sounds like you've got some handy mates

**dirtydog** · 16-02-2007, 11:25 PM

So then we come to the time that I was accused of murder by the press in Thailand.

This was actually the second time I have been accused of murder here.

So we got a dead Thai guy who used to work for some farang with the same name as me, first name that is, so the police are hunting this murdering farang down, immigration fok up big time and my picture from my passport, my address etc are all on the front page, yep the cnuts at immigration fok up and think it is me due to some idiotic remark by the Thai police, so I am pretty foked. the first I see of it is on a pattaya news channel that the police ar hunting me down, yep my passport pics and address are shown on that channel.

By this time I was a bit angry, and I admit scared, they had stuck a 100k baht reward on my head, it's like every cnut had my adress from the tv and papers, so yes I started carrying my gun illegally, I wern't having some wanker taking me in, I got the owner of 2 of the papers to threaten me over the phone but the pigs weren't gonna do nothing about that, that foking annoyed me, they are acusing me of murder but I cant get the the cnuts arressted for threatening to kill me.

My lawyers said it would be a couple of years worth of case, something like this I can sort out myself quiker.

**keda** · 17-02-2007, 12:28 AM

However do you manage to put up with such a boring life? - should get out more.

**benbaaa** · 17-02-2007, 08:49 AM

One of my goldfish died today.

**peterpan** · 17-02-2007, 09:40 AM

My youngest shit her pants while we were in restaurant having breakfast this morning. The look on the other patrons faces as the smell hit was priceless, laughed so much, I then shit my pants.

**humphrey** · 21-02-2007, 06:16 AM

Originally Posted by benbaaa

One of my goldfish died today.

Tell us about it Ben. Sounds much more interesting than the OP.

**benbaaa** · 21-02-2007, 09:20 AM

Originally Posted by humphrey

Tell us about it Ben. Sounds much more interesting than the OP.

OK. When I went to bed the night before, it was alive. When I woke up the morning after, it was dead. So I fished it out and chucked it away. I might buy another one, but then again, I might not. That's because I'm still undecided.

**lom** · 21-02-2007, 09:51 AM

^ What about the funeral ceremony ? Any photos ?

**Lily** · 21-02-2007, 10:10 AM

A soi dog killed one of my cats the other night and I had to pick the poor little thing off the street and bury her.

It was very sad and upsetting.

**ozman** · 21-02-2007, 10:21 AM

Originally Posted by Lily

A soi dog killed one of my cats the other night and I had to pick the poor little thing off the street and bury her.

It was very sad and upsetting.

Sorry Lily but I can't see anything wrong with this

**kingwilly** · 21-02-2007, 10:30 AM

Originally Posted by Lady Hawk

your pretty much a hero ...........if i ever meet you which i hope i do

Originally Posted by Lady Hawk

i'm pissed

thats obvious!

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