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  1. #1
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    Economy Modelling

    Economic Models explained with cows:

    SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbour.

    COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.

    FASCISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.

    NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.

    BUREAUCRATISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, then throws the milk away...

    TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

    SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons

    AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

    SHINAWATRA VENTURE CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.

    THE ANDERSEN MODEL: You have two cows. You shred them.

    A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

    A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'cowkimon' and market it worldwide.

    A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

    AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch.

    A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

    A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them.

    A CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

    AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them.

    A BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. Both are mad.

    AN IRAQI CORPORATION: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy....

    A WELSH CORPORATION: You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive.

    AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

  2. #2
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    A BOURNEMOUTH CHAV CORPORATION: You borrow 2 cows from your mates, swap 1 for a TEFL cert, and the other for a plane ticket to some 3rd world country.

  3. #3
    RDN
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    Khun Marmite
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    Quote Originally Posted by beware of the dog View Post
    Economic Models explained with cows:
    ...
    Excellent, BTD!

  4. #4
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    I was waiting for CMN to kick off about the penultimate sentence. Never mind, there is still time.

  5. #5
    RDN
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    Quote Originally Posted by beware of the dog View Post
    I was waiting for CMN to kick off about the penultimate sentence. Never mind, there is still time.
    How about:

    A WELSH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You make a deal to sell them, but then welsh on it.






  6. #6
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    Sposed to be a play on culture ratther than words, but nice try

  7. #7
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    A WELSH CORPORATION: You have two cows. An Englishman steals both of them and teaches them to "moo" in English.....you burn his house down in retaliation.

  8. #8
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    A NORTH KOREAN CORPORATION- You keep telling everyone that you have two cows but no one believes you, so you let them loose in the neighbours vegetable garden.

  9. #9
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    tooooo funny

  10. #10
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    Excellent!

    Lucky for the Kiwis and Welsh that you didn't use sheep instead!

  11. #11
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    BNP state : You have two cows. You kill them both for being black.

  12. #12
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    AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. One is uninsured and dies when the vet won't treat it, the other is sueing you for a million dollars because you milked it with cold hands.
    Last edited by Begbie; 29-01-2007 at 04:51 PM.

  13. #13
    lom
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    withdrawn

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