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  1. #1
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
    withnallstoke's Avatar
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    Persona non grata.

    Although not normally a pleasant experience, being booted out of somewhere and consequently barred is usually an interesting experience, not least when the banning calls into question the legality of the action.

    Sometimes it's just bloody good fun.
    I'm sure we've all been booted out of places before, and am equally sure that there must be some daft places or reasons for it.

    As an intro, i would like to offer three cases from my own catalogue of disasters in the hope that a few more folks have had similar, or different, that you would like to share.

    1) Banned from Manchester airport.

    Excited as buggery, i set off with my grandma and an uncle for Manchester airport to catch a plane over to Germany to meet up with mum dad and family.
    Uncle Tony, being a keen photographer, drives us up to the airport to arrive about 4 hours before my departure so he can take some photos of stuff.

    Uncle Tony snaps away at aircraft, and grandma decides to check my tickets for information (i was flying alone).
    What fucking tickets?

    Panic ensues and the three of us try to get from the 'viewing area' back to the main concourse through a one way turnstile which was meant to go the other way, and uncle Tony manages to wedge the whole fucking system with a telescopic lens, and my granny, a dimminutive old lady, was stuck betwixt turnstile, uncle, and Stoke. I was behind the both of them in the viewing area.

    Eventually a mechanic came and freed the sorry looking pair, and the newly united unholy trio set off to get into the car, get back to Stoke, retrieve my tickets, and get back up to Manchester. This we did.

    Upon arrival back at Manchester airport, sweating from the sheer drama of the event, but at least now in possesion of my tickets, we were all a little perplexed to find Police men stopping folks from approaching the departure lounge.
    Apparently there was a bomb scare.

    Despite numerous warning signs about unattended luggage, somebody had left an unattended luggage at the bottom of a turnstile.
    The bomb squad ascertained that it was a camera.

    British Bobbies being British Bobbies politely informed us that "Heathrow isn't that far away, and here is a whip 'round of thirty quid to make sure you don't come back".
    Last edited by withnallstoke; 16-12-2011 at 08:45 PM.

  2. #2
    sabaii sabaii
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    Quote Originally Posted by withnallstoke
    British Bobbies being British Bobbies
    Quote Originally Posted by withnallstoke
    whip 'round of thirty quid
    Not the ones I remember.

    Although there was a nice couple once, who gave me a mop and bucket to clean up the piss I'd left in an alleyway at 3 am and only got a little warning

    I think I'm banned from a certain establishment around the Sukhumvit Soi 7 area over groping the Landlords wife.
    For the record, she molested me more than I did her, and I didn't know she was his wife

  3. #3
    Thailand Expat
    teddy's Avatar
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    Candi wasn't banned from Manchester Airport. She was left on the station.

    Last edited by teddy; 16-12-2011 at 09:29 PM.

  4. #4
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
    withnallstoke's Avatar
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    2) Banned from Scotland.

    Arriving at the Scottish border for the first time on my trusty Honda motorcycle, it was to prove a bit of a bastard when i met a group of Dutch tourists who insisted on giving me apples and ale. I gave them a sausage roll.
    Continuing on the journey after the cultural exchange, i came across the town of Jedburgh and deemed it right to whack a few whiskeys down me, so i found a decent looking boozer and parked the bike outside. Pleasantries were exchanged until a local came in and asked whos the 'bike was outside, because the po-lice were looking at it.

    Having done nowt wrong i popped outside to see what the problem was.
    The police informed me that my bike was parked illegaly (on the pavement), and that i should move it.
    I tried, and they arrested me for being drunk.

    Several hours later, they let me out.
    "Go and get a fish supper, and we'll give you your bike keys back".

    So i did.
    Armed with a nuclear sized fish and chips, i sat down on a nice wall to eat it.

    Within minutes a police car arrived and arrested me for loitering and bothering old age pensioners (whose wall i was sat on). The police gave me back my bike keys and insisted they follow me back to the border.

    When i returned several months later for the court case (drunk in charge), the sheriff of Jedburgh told me i was banned from Scotland.

  5. #5
    Thailand Expat
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    Edison were in their lighthouse when this alleged offence happened


  6. #6
    The Pikey Hunter
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    Quote Originally Posted by withnallstoke
    the sheriff of Jedburgh told me i was banned from Scotland.
    That's a punishment?

  7. #7
    Thailand Expat
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    the third degree in a scottish mortuary


  8. #8
    Mykinos
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    does banned from numerous fora count?

  9. #9
    The Pikey Hunter
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    ^ No, Momo, it doesnt.

  10. #10
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    The balding Coot's Avatar
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    Banned from Gullivers in Sukhumvit in an argument over a packet of biscuits with the Manager.

    I'd just done the grocery shopping at Foodland and wanted to see Villa versus Chelsea on the TV in Gullivers. I was prevented from entering because security said I might ''eat the packet of biscuits' I had in the carrier bag inside their bar.

    I got ariated. the manger appeared and we both let loose on each other ending with him telling me to 'piss off and drink at another bar, not his'.

    Shit bar anyway!

  11. #11
    Molecular Mixup
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    whats Teddy been up to??
    it appears the thread title has eaten him up?

    I liked that Candi station video - she look nice

  12. #12
    ความสุขในอีสาน
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    Brilliant Witthy ,,,,,,,, do you have a twin brother on a farm in Issssssssssaaaaaarrrnn ???

  13. #13
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    Enjoying your tales withnall, but why is teddy hijacking this thread with those crap videos?

  14. #14
    sabaii sabaii
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    Was Teddy jailed for that ?

    I quite liked them, (cough)

  15. #15
    splendid and tremendous
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    Got booted out of a kebab shop for drooling. The fact I was thoroughly roasted on three strong beans of Ecstacy didn't help.

  16. #16
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
    withnallstoke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nigelandjan
    do you have a twin brother on a farm in Issssssssssaaaaaarrrnn ???
    Praise indeed.


    For the fat Isaarn farmer.

  17. #17
    splendid and tremendous
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    ^ Admit it, getting kicked out of a kebab shop for salivating is unbeatable.

  18. #18
    sabaii sabaii
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    ^ You surely mean Gurning



    No one gets hungry after dropping Ecstacy,

    You sure some fucker never sold you Laxative tablets ?

  19. #19
    sabaii sabaii
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    Immediate effects
    Many people have experienced the following effects soon after taking ecstasy:
    increase in confidence;
    feelings of well-being;
    feelings of closeness to others, hence the term ‘love drug’;
    anxiety;
    dilated pupils;
    jaw clenching, teeth grinding;
    increase in heart rate, body temperature and blood pressure;
    nausea;
    loss of appetite; and
    sweating.
    Higher doses
    Higher quantities don't appear to enhance the desirable effects and may cause:
    convulsions (fits);
    vomiting;
    floating sensations;
    irrational or bizarre behaviour; or
    hallucinations.
    I don't see desire for Doner Kebab and chips on that list you fat fuck

  20. #20
    splendid and tremendous
    somtamslap's Avatar
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    I think I was trying to shag the spit of lamb actually..

  21. #21
    Thailand Expat
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    I've been kicked out of casinos for gambling, mostly online.

  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap
    I think I was trying to shag the spit of lamb actually
    Prelude to a ladyboy spitroasting, no doubt...
    (practice makes perfect as the Belgians say...)


  23. #23
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    & what's going on here???



    2/3 the way there; Mr Slaps could round this off perfectly:


  24. #24
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    Now, what got me about this thread (below) were the words: "The girls are a nice bunch..." (post #147)

    The Irish Rovers - Pattaya Talk Forum - Page 6

    Socal would fukin love that place...

    BTW, just wanna state for the record, you Pattaya lot are very sad and fuked up... No offence...
    Cycling should be banned!!!

  25. #25
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    Breny's Avatar
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    Thumbs up

    Quote Originally Posted by somtamslap View Post
    Got booted out of a kebab shop for drooling. The fact I was thoroughly roasted on three strong beans of Ecstacy didn't help.
    Oh thats what this means! 3 feck me, i bet your face was the shape of a crescent moon, and you would have danced to the sound of the chip frier.

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