Aussie Rules Football

[kingwilly]

Preseason is already underway.

1 thing I love about preseason, is that you can start slowly getting excited about footy starting again....

1 thing I hate about preseason is they like to fuck around with things....

eg:

Aurora changing shape

Adam Smith | February 18, 2009 03:05pm

• AURORA Stadium will be altered for Saturday's clash between Hawthorn and Melbourne to produce a more exciting game.

Last year David Parkin criticised the size of the ground, which has often produced low-scoring affairs due to teams getting stuck in expansive wings and pockets when the opposition pushed numbers behind the ball.

One wing has been reduced in an effort to promote a free-flowing game, with the ground dimensions now resembling Melbourne's Telstra Dome, The Mercury reports.

Ground manager Robert Groenewegen said the AFL did not pressure to make the changes, and the Hawks were consulted about the decision last October.

"What happened was the outer-side of the ground was 13 metres wider than the Gunns Stand side of the ground," Groenewegen said yesterday.<
Of the 28 home and away matches played at the venue, only 11 times has a team passed the 100 point barrier and on just one occasion -- when the Hawks defeated Port Adelaide last year -- have both teams reached three figures.

The highest score posted in Launceston also goes to the Power, 17.15 (117) back in 2002.

[Thai Pom]

Is there no "fixed" footy pitch size??

[kingwilly]

Is there no "fixed" footy pitch size??

not exactly, as long as they are oval. there is slight variation within 135-185m long and 110-155m wide

[Thai Pom]

135-185m long and 110-155m wide

Slight!! Pity they are not as "Slight" on speed limits down in Oz

[kingwilly]

Pity they are not as "Slight" on speed limits down in Oz

yeah, quite.

[beano]

Hi Willy, I'll talk real footy with ya.
Be an interesting season with the "unbeatable" side knocked of last year. Who do you fancy for the finals?

[kingwilly]

Be an interesting season with the "unbeatable" side knocked of last year. Who do you fancy for the finals?

dunno, tomorrow is the semi finals between the mighty bombers and colliwobbles apart.

as for September, waaaaaay to early to tell....

[beano]

I think the 'pies will be too good.
Agree about September, you have to pick Geelong but hot favorites have missed the final 8 before.

[kingwilly]

I think the 'pies will be too good.

me no talk to u anymore...

[jandajoy]

I think the 'pies will be too good.

:banhim1::banhim1::banhim1:

[kingwilly]

agreed, my good man.

aint never met a good collinwobble supporter.

EVER.


fact.

[beano]

Don't worry, they're well down my list of preferred sides. You may say they're not on it at all.

[beano]

Collingwood enter grand final.
Tomorrow's winner may as well order the champagne already.

[kingwilly]

i'm ashamed to say that cos i watched the rugby, mrskw aint letting me watch the footy....

[MeMock]

135-185m long and 110-155m wide

Slight!! Pity they are not as "Slight" on speed limits down in Oz

One of the things that make Aussie rules and cricket more interesting.

[beano]

Geelong won, play the 'Wobbles next weekend.

[nedwalk]

me no talk to u anymore...

two words mate


GO LIONS ,,,,,

[kingwilly]

• WHAT stands between your team and the premiership? Club-by-club we ask the big questions and highlight the key players.

Which player holds the key to your team's chances?

Is your team a genuine contender?

And which AFL players do you need in your Supercoach team?
Click on the links below to view the club profiles which address this season's big issues.

Adelaide: More of the same?

Brisbane: Can Voss cut it?

Carlton: Are the Blues back?

Collingwood: Is it far away?

Essendon: Are finals a dream

Fremantle: Can it deliver?

Geelong: Is it scarred?

Hawthorn: Is there a hangover?

North Melbourne: Is it a contender?

Melbourne: How much more pain?

Port Adelaide: Can it rebound?

Richmond: Is it for real this time

St Kilda: Is the flag window open?

Sydney: Is it time to rebuild?

Western Bulldogs: Can the kid stand up?

West Coast: Is it spent?

[nedwalk]

thanks for that mate, i,m excited only a few more sleeps and away we go for another year of footy,must remember to get me tips in, maybe TD should run a tipping comp too

[kingwilly]

footy,must remember to get me tips in, maybe TD should run a tipping comp too

funny you should mention that mate... https://teakdoor.com/the-sports-room/...tml#post998830 (TD's AFL Tipping Competition)

[bkkbob]

AFL TV COVERAGE BANGKOK

THE OFFICE BAR SUKHUMVIT SOI 33 SHOWS EVERY GAME EVERY WEEKEND

GO HERE FOR FULL DETAILS: Theofficebkk.com The Office Bar, This week's sport

CHEERS

[beano]

News

Blues explode into '09 at Tigers' expense


CARLTON has started the 2009 season on a formidable note, thrashing Richmond by 83 points in front of a near-capacity crowd at the MCG on Thursday night.
The build-up to the match, largely centred around the return to elite-level football of Tiger recruit Ben Cousins, reached fever pitch.
And it took a very cruel tumble early in the fourth quarter when the Brownlow Medallist hobbled from the field with what looked to be a serious hamstring tear.
Consider too that it was Cousins' former West Coast captain, now Carlton skipper, Chris Judd who had close to the greatest impact on the 23.12 (150) to 9.13 (67) result.

[kingwilly]

Why did the Collingwood supporter cross the road?
Centrelink was on the other side


How do you inflict 12 months of acute pain on a Pies supporter?
Buy them a membership for Christmas!


What do u say to a Collingwood supporter with a job?
I'll have fries with that thanks

2 Collingwood Supporters in a car without any music, who is driving?
The Policeman

What do you call a 30 yr old woman in a Collingwood jumper?
Nanna

You are trapped in a room with a crocodile, a tiger and a Collingwood
fan. You have a gun with 2 bullets. What do you do?
Shoot the Collingwood fan - Twice

Billy was at school this morning and the teacher asked all the children
What their fathers did for a living.
All the typical answers came out: fireman, policeman, salesman, etc.
However, Billy was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher
asked him about his father ..
Billy responded: "My father is an exotic dancer in a gay club and takes
off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes if the offer is
really good, he'll go out with a man, rent a cheap hotel room and let
them sleep with him."
The teacher quickly sent the other children outside with some work and
took little Billy aside to ask him if what he'd said was really true.
"No" said Billy ,"He plays AFL football for the Collingwood Football
Club but I was just too embarrassed to say ..."


You know you're a Collingwood supporter when:
1. A Halloween pumpkin has more teeth than your wife does.
2. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in
front of her kids.
3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
4. Jack Daniel's makes your list of 'most admired people.'
5. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
6. Someone in your family once died right after saying: 'Hey, watch
this.'
7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
8. A ceiling fan once ruined your wife's hairdo.
9. You think the last words of Advance Australia Fair are: 'Carn the
Maggies .'
10. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded, right off
its wheels.
11. The market value of your car goes up and down, depending on how much
petrol is in it.
12. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
13. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
14. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law
against it.
15. You think 'loaded dishwasher' means your wife is drunk.
16. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
17. Your front verandah collapses and kills more than five dogs.



What do Collingwood supporters use as protection during sex?
The bus shelter


If you're driving along and you see a Collingwood supporter riding a
bike why shouldn't you run him over?
It could be your bike.



They found one of Josef Fritzl's daughter's diary from the infamous
Austrian "lock-up" case just last weekend. It read:
Monday - locked up at home, raped by Dad
Tuesday - locked up at home, raped by Dad
Wednesday - locked up at home, raped by Dad
Thursday - locked up at home, raped by Dad
Friday - locked up at home, raped by Dad
Saturday - went to go watch Collingwood play. Wished I stayed at home.




Three women with footy-fan husbands are discussing their relationships.
The first says, "My husband follows the Lions and let me tell you our
sex life is like one premiership after another."
The second says, "My husband is a Crows man and every night is like the
back-to-back victories of 1997 and '98."
They then look at their friend, who hasn't yet said a thing.
"What's wrong," they say as their friend starts sobbing. "Well," she
says hesitantly, "my husband supports Collingwood, and all he does is
sit on the end of the bed and tell me how wonderful it's going to be."


Why do Collingwood fans stink?
So blind people can hate them, too.


What's got 100 legs and 4 teeth?
The front row of the Collingwood cheer squad.

What is your wife trying to tell you if she's wearing a Collingwood
shirt to bed?
You ain't going to score.


A Collingwood couple gets married and are on their honeymoon.
The woman changes into a sexy outfit and lies on the bed. She looks
sheepishly up at her new hubby and whispers, "Please be gentle with me.
I'm a virgin."
The man gets up screaming, grabs his trousers and runs home to tell his
father, who comforts him by saying, "Now, now. It'll be okay, son. If
she wasn't good enough for her own family, then she isn't good enough
for ours."


A Collingwood supporter went down to Centrelink to claim welfare after
realising she was the only one of her friends - (who were all
Collingwood supporters) - who was not on benefits.
"How many children do you have?" the man at Centrelink asked.
"Ten," she replied.
"What are their names?"
"Jaidyn, Jaidyn, Jaidyn, Jaidyn, Jaidyn, Jaidyn, Jaidyn, Jaidyn, Jaidyn
and Jaidyn," she replied.
"They're all named Jaidyn?" he asked "What if you want them to come in
from playing outside?"
"Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just call 'Jaidyn,' and they all come
running in."
"And, if you want them to come to the table for dinner?"
"I just say, 'Jaidyn, come eat your dinner'," she answered.
"But what if you just want ONE of them to do something?" he asked.
"Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just use their last name."


How many Collingwood fans does it take to change a light bulb?
Seven - one to change it, five to moan about it and make
excuses and Mick Malthouse to say that if the umpire had done
his job in the first place the light bulb would never have
gone out



What's the difference between a cactus and the Lexus Centre?
A cactus has pricks on the outside


A man enters a bar and orders a drink. The bar has a robot bartender.
The robot serves him a perfectly prepared cocktail, and then asks him,
"What's your IQ?"
The man replies, "150", and the robot proceeds to make conversation
about global warming, factors, quantum physics and spirituality,
biomimicry, environmental interconnectedness, string theory,
nano-technology, and sexual proclivities.
The customer is very impressed and thinks, "This is really cool.", and
decides to test the robot. He walks out of the bar, turns around, and
comes back in for another drink.
Again, the robot serves him the perfectly prepared drink and asks him,
"What's your IQ?"
"About a 100," the man responds.
Immediately the robot starts talking, but this time about football, the
Bathurst 1000, cricket, supermodels, favorite fast foods, guns, and the
like.
Really impressed, the man leaves then walks in again.
"What's your IQ?" the robot asks.
"Er, 50, I think."
And the robot responds, very, very slowly, "So, I expect you'll be
following Collingwood again this year?"


What do you do for a drowning Collingwood player?
Nothing. You could drag him to the top, but he'll choke anyway.


Why did Cinderella run away from the ball?
Because she played for Collingwood.


Joffa took his 8 year old son to a Pies Game. At half time, an
opposition supporter called one of the Pies cheersquad a transvestite,
prompting Joffa's son to ask him 'dad, what's a transvestite?', to which
Joffa replied, 'Go ask your mum, he'll know'.


What do you call a group of Collingwood supporters running off in the
same direction?
Jailbreak!


What is the difference between a Pizza and a Collingwood supporter?
Pizza can feed a family of four.


A group of Collingwood supporters are standing on their tip toes up to
their necks in water What is the problem?
Not enough water.


How do you know if your house has been robbed by a Collingwood
supporter?
Your bins are empty and your dogs pregnant.


A Collingwood Girl enters a sex shop & asks for a vibrator.
The man says: "Choose one from our range on the wall." She says
"I'll take the red one."
The man replies: "That's a fire extinguisher."



Another Collingwood girl was involved in a serious crash, there's blood
everywhere.
The paramedics arrive and drag the girl out of the car till she's lying
flat out on the road.
Medic: "OK, I'm going to check if you're concussed."
Sharon: "Ok."
Medic: "How many fingers am I putting up?"
Sharon: "Oh my god I'm paralysed from the waist down!"


A Collingwood girl walks into the local dry cleaners.
She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to
pick up my dress." she says.
"Come again?" says the worker, cupping his ear.
"No" she replies. "This time it's mayonnaise."

[nedwalk]

^

[beano]

The H'un picks the Ten toughest footballers ever.

Robbie Flower
Des Tuddenham
Glenn Archer
Leigh Matthews
Dermott Brereton
Gary Ablett Sr
Wayne Carey
Ron Barassi
Carl Ditterich
Tony Lockett

Comments?
Any Additions?
I can think of a couple I wouldn't have in there but I'll let you guys go first.
THE TEN... toughest footballers | Herald Sun