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  1. #1
    Thailand Expat reinvented's Avatar
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    1 month to go

    For all you fellow followers of football

    Extremely important advice and recommendations to be passed
    on to wives, girlfriends, fianc้es, mothers, sisters, daughters, etc
    (to all women in general). These rules are to be communicated
    prior to the World Cup in June/July this year...



    LIST OF RULES

    1. From 9 June to 9 July 2006, you should read the sports section of the
    newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World
    Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you
    fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be
    totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.

    2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any
    exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose
    it (your eye).

    3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don't mind,
    as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me. If
    you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make sure you put clothes on
    right after because if you catch a cold, I won't have time to take you to
    the doctor or look after you during the World Cup month.

    4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a
    refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you
    expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up
    the baby that just fell from the second floor...
    it won't happen.

    5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the
    fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please
    do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the
    games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am,
    unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.

    6. Please, please, please!! if you see me upset because one of my teams is
    losing, DO NOT say "get over it, it's only a game", or "don't worry, they'll
    win next time". If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and
    I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about
    football than me and your so called "words of encouragement" will only lead
    to a break up or divorce.

    7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me
    during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the
    halftime score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying "one"
    game, hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to "spend time
    together".

    8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I have seen
    them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again. Many times.

    9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related
    parties or gatherings that require my attendance because:
    a) I will not go,
    b) I will not go, and
    c) I will not go.

    10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a
    game, we will be there in a flash.

    11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as
    important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying "but you
    have already seen this...
    why don't you change the channel to something we
    can all watch?" The reply will be: "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".

    12. And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank God the World
    Cup is only every 4 years". I am immune to these words, because after this
    comes the Champions League, Italian League, Spanish League, Premier League,
    etc, etc.

    Thank you for your co
    -operation.

    Regards,

    Men of the World

    we won it at wemberlee
    we on it in gay paree...

  2. #2
    Thailand Expat
    cantona's Avatar
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    Good set of rules there you scouse kunt

  3. #3
    Thailand Expat reinvented's Avatar
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    thanks inbred, glad to be of service
    good luck the weekend
    i cant tell you how much it hurts to say that

  4. #4
    Mhz
    Mhz is offline
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    I dont love football cos I cant play.So better stay away from here.

  5. #5
    Thailand Expat
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    Damn, we have different forums for different reasons...

  6. #6
    Thailand Expat reinvented's Avatar
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    This is about maintaining domestic bliss, not the game per se
    would you rather we didnt help a brother and let him face the wrath of an uninformed wench my mountain dwelling/ banjo playing friend?

  7. #7
    punk douche bag
    ChiangMai noon's Avatar
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    I agree, but the sport forum is kind of full of games like snooker and baseball which have about as much to do with sport as backgammon or strip poker.
    Last edited by ChiangMai noon; 27-04-2006 at 05:16 PM.

  8. #8
    born of a jackal
    colourful-era's Avatar
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    there's also the European Cup Final to look forward to.....May 17th


    Any Arsenal or Barcelona fans out there?

  9. #9
    Thailand Expat
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    spoil sport cmn.

  10. #10
    Fag an bealac!
    flash's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by reinvented
    10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.
    Not sure i like this one!

  11. #11
    Thailand Expat
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    Barcelona

  12. #12
    Thailand Expat
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    Quote Originally Posted by reinvented
    thanks inbred, glad to be of service good luck the weekend i cant tell you how much it hurts to say that
    Cheers Fella

  13. #13
    Member Crunchie's Avatar
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    What is this 'World Cup' you speak of? And why were Scotland not invited?

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